The No-Coast Craft-O-Rama was a success!
I think it might be because Jen and I were wearing our new uniforms. 
It’s hard to know — but marketing is SO important these days and we really do our best to be, as the kids say, cutting edge.
After the show, we packed our uniforms in bubble-wrap, sat by a roaring fire, and watched the snow fall.
And fall.
And fall.
That inspired a Chanukah card!
This goes out to my Jewish brothers and sisters:
And like the Canadian Goose, she stayed. She stayed and embraced the cold, using her derriére to warm the waters of her pond.
And by derriére, I mean “bottom” and by waters of her pond, I mean “the Midtown Market.”
What?!
It’s time for the No-Coast Craft-o-Rama! TOMORROW (Friday, December 7 AND Saturday, December 8)!!
Here’s what I’ve done to get ready: 
That’s a full cord of wood that I ordered.
AND I made this card:
Jen did everything else.
See you tomorrow!
xo,
Fran
A long, long time ago, when men roamed the wild, with sharp spears and heavy stones, a discovery was made: A charred nub-of-a-stick was scraped against the wall to create a picture, a representation of reality — why?
The need to communicate visually is unique to humans (and some elephants).
I wish I had a trunk.
Here’s what I need to communicate visually:
Secured to her bonnet with picture wire, butcher’s twine, and Christmas Spirit (egg-nog). That spruce-top sat atop her head for the entire season of Advent.
She knew that it offset her dour expression — an expression she couldn’t redesign. Oh, but the tiny tree brought delight to all she passed!
For those blissful weeks, nobody seemed to notice her stern glower, her face — twisted into the judgmental scowl went unnoticed. She imagined wearing other elaborate fancies on her head — but for now, this would do:
I was once one of them — an innocent amusement park customer. I looked down at them now, from the highest man-made point in Shakopee, Minnesota. I sighed and listened to the chug-chug-chugging from beneath our coaster — our lives depended on the integrity of a giant bicycle chain. Our open-casket hesitated for just a moment at the tippy-top of the steel summit — hesitated just enough for me to grasp the inevitable free-fall. And as we plummeted to our possible deaths, I screamed.
And wet my pants.
The End
How old was she?
Don’t judge me.
Obviously, I wasn’t born riding a roller coaster, I was born screaming. And wetting my pants.
*Hint: this photograph was taken close to the time of the event and **Double Hint: I’m not the baby.
Speaking of literary themes, there is a lot (not really) to dissect in this new (Holiday/Winter Season?) card:
The newspaper is delivered to our doorstep each morning (by horse and buggy) and I comb through it — if I find a particularly odd/sad/absurd story, I read it aloud to whomever (the dog) is nearby.
Here is an abbreviated digest of the only (two) articles I remember from the past (two) months: (In alphabetical order)
1) Stratosphere jump by daredevil, Felix Baumgartner: In an attempt to break the world record, Felix jumped from a capsule suspended 23 miles above Roswell, New Mexico.
I plan on breaking that record when I get tired of this whole letterpress thing.
2) Talking elephant in South Korea loves Zeichen Press. Strange but true.
Crazy?! I know! Koshik’s trainer must $*#%-love Zeichen Press.
Enough time-wasting.
Here is a new Christmas card (available NEXT Christmas. Sorry).
Do you need ANOTHER thing to do this Holiday Season?
YES, PLEASE.
How about a COLORING CONTEST??
But, Fran, how could I possibly fit this into my busy schedule??
THAT’S EASY BECAUSE WE BROKE IT DOWN INTO STEPS!
~ Step 1: print this picture
~ Step 2: color the picture like your life depends on it
~ Step 3: take a photo of your colored masterpiece with your super smartphone OR scan
~ Step 4: send to info@zeichenpress.com ~ or snailmail to us
Zeichen Press will choose the winner AND and that person will receive free cards!!!
HAPPY HOLIDAYS!
i like you too -> 416 Snelling South Saint Paul, Minnesota 55105
ANOTHER profile in that special series dedicated to bringing our readers biased reviews of shops that carry our goods.
The gals 
knew it wasn’t right to deprive the good people of St. Paul all of that hand-crafted goodness for one more minute. After all, they are THE purveyors of one-of-a-kind-locally-made-gifts.
They remind me of me and Jen except Jen has way more tattoos and piercings. Some day you’ll be as cool as us, ladies. SOME DAY.
They transformed 
a blank canvas on Snelling
into something WORTHY ENOUGH to carry Zeichen Press cards.
And they have other cute stuff too. Or whatever.
PS:
Now that my fireplace is ready for Winter,
Jen can finally print Holiday cards for our favorite custom customer.
Akustiks is a fancy company of acousticians who design the architectural acoustics for theaters and concert halls.
And, correct me if I’m wrong, but a group of acousticians were actually hired by God to assure the residents of Bethlehem that His choir of angels sounded better than some music pouring out of the earbuds crammed in my earholes.
Despite my lo-fi circumstances, I created a new card. Only 38 shopping days till Christmas!
Sometimes your web developer
has to come over and gnaw on bricks (gluten-free scones) and discuss dogs wearing sweaters so your mobile site can function properly.
TECHNOLOGY.
And Jen loves meetings because she’s a social butterfly 
and craves attention. Oh, Jen! When will it be enough??
As my eyeball filled with blood,
I thought to myself, “should I have someone redo my hearth,
or stop working on our 2017 catalog?”
I decided to both because I’m an over-achiever.
AND THEN I wrote a card
because it’s cheaper than therapy.
