My fans are relentless, ”Fran, how do you do it? Please, let us in to that magical and mysterious world you call your brain. Give us, if you think we can handle it, a tiny snippet of what it’s like to experience your Creative Process.” Well, stand back; I’m about to blow your minds. BLOW YOUR MINDS. This will be a little bit like someone revealing the secrets of the universe, the meaning of life, and the riddle of the sphinx. Until now, there has only been speculation. Speculation and rumor. Just like the moon landing. So, just sit right down and call in sick to work – Ready, set, go; here’s the deal: Notebook + pencil + old printer’s cut =
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Words sitting next to pictures
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Total Reject
The nice thing about owning your own company and producing your own line of goods is that: A) I won’t fire me for sexually harassing myself. B) I give myself outstanding quarterly reviews. C) I haven’t showered in God Knows How Long and nobody (hi Jen!) cares. D) I can write/design/print whatever I think is funny.
The other day, the Trader Joe’s Card Chick submitted three of my cards to TJ’s. Originally there were nine and after some pretty complicated calculations on my calculator, I figured that left six for us. (Eat that, Sister Diane, I told you I’d be able to apply my limited math skills to the real world!) Here’s a peek at the six rejects: Three are for sale in our online store. Why only three? I bet you’d like to know.
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Our biggest custom customer: Trader Joe’s
The Trader Joe’s Card Chick called and asked us to do some custom work for them.
I was like, “get in line lady, it’s not like Consumer Reports ranked Trader Joe’s the second-best supermarket chain in the nation.” And she was like, “yeah, they did.” And I was like, “I knew that, I was just testing you.”
Even without my lucky historical period costume we were able to produce some winners. (My teacher used to say, “we are all winners when we don’t use drugs” but I think she was using the word ‘we’ in the royal sense).
We gave nine cards to The Card Chick, she selected three to show to TJ’s and TJ’s is going to produce all three. They will be in the stores in March. They’ll be offset printing them, I feel good about that because I’m sure that Jen and I would be fingerless if we had to hand feed 80,000 cards into the jaws of The Beast.
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Taking the Christ out of Christmas since 2008!
When we create custom holiday cards for corporations/businesses, we are often asked to “make it not so, you know, Christmassy.” Here’s a new one for our own line – but we’re willing to share. Hey, Target Corporation: Want a few thousand?
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We were in the Style Section of the New York Times!
Sort of. Not exactly. Technically we were not named in the newspaper but we feel like that must have been an oversight. Somebody is probably going to lose their job because of that little error. We’re just sorry that we can’t be there to see it. See, we designed and printed wedding celebration invitations for the couple who were in the Style Section of the New York Times – um, like, that’s a super big deal. It’s right here, in black and white.
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How important is hygiene?
Yesterday, I spent 10 straight hours sitting in the kitchen. I didn’t brush my hair or teeth.
(I once saw a medical show about a man who complained of stomach aches, they finally cut him open and discovered his partially re-absorbed, unborn twin in his own belly. It had hair and teeth. Not much else to it. A lot of hair. A lot.)
I stayed in my pajamas. I drank coffee and cold fried chicken. Disgusting? Undoubtably. Did I care? Not the slightest. I was being paid to sit there and provide art direction for a local ad agency. Me and my laptop and the kitchen table strewn with yesterday’s dinner dishes. Who cares? Certainly not me. My Grandma would have been disgusted. She also would have been confused by the “strange typewriter machine”. Anyway, I finished the job, went to The Happy Gnome with my mom and made one of the kids clean the kitchen. Here’s a picture of me after I finished the job: note the fried chicken triggered chin acne.
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COLOR ME IMPRESSED!
Do you need ANOTHER thing to do this Holiday Season?
YES, PLEASE.
How about a COLORING CONTEST??
But, Fran, how could I possibly fit this into my busy schedule??
THAT’S EASY BECAUSE WE BROKE IT DOWN INTO STEPS!
~ Step 1: print this picture
~ Step 2: color the picture like your life depends on it
~ Step 3: take a photo of your colored masterpiece with your super smartphone OR scan
~ Step 4: send to info@zeichenpress.com ~ or snailmail to us
Zeichen Press will choose the winner AND and that person will receive free cards!!!
HAPPY HOLIDAYS!
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We want to be more than just friends with: i like you too
i like you too -> 416 Snelling South Saint Paul, Minnesota 55105
ANOTHER profile in that special series dedicated to bringing our readers biased reviews of shops that carry our goods.
The gals
knew it wasn’t right to deprive the good people of St. Paul all of that hand-crafted goodness for one more minute. After all, they are THE purveyors of one-of-a-kind-locally-made-gifts.
They remind me of me and Jen except Jen has way more tattoos and piercings. Some day you’ll be as cool as us, ladies. SOME DAY.
They transformed
a blank canvas on Snelling
into something WORTHY ENOUGH to carry Zeichen Press cards.
And they have other cute stuff too. Or whatever.
PS:
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Custom Customer & Choirs of Angels
Now that my fireplace is ready for Winter,
Jen can finally print Holiday cards for our favorite custom customer.
Akustiks is a fancy company of acousticians who design the architectural acoustics for theaters and concert halls.
And, correct me if I’m wrong, but a group of acousticians were actually hired by God to assure the residents of Bethlehem that His choir of angels sounded better than some music pouring out of the earbuds crammed in my earholes.
Despite my lo-fi circumstances, I created a new card. Only 38 shopping days till Christmas!
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House Calls
Sometimes your web developer
has to come over and gnaw on bricks (gluten-free scones) and discuss dogs wearing sweaters so your mobile site can function properly.
TECHNOLOGY.
And Jen loves meetings because she’s a social butterfly
and craves attention. Oh, Jen! When will it be enough??
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My Heart(h) Will Go On
As my eyeball filled with blood,
I thought to myself, “should I have someone redo my hearth,
or stop working on our 2017 catalog?”
I decided to both because I’m an over-achiever.
AND THEN I wrote a card
because it’s cheaper than therapy.
