Category: Brainerd

Zeichen Press vs. 2012

**Spoiler Alert**�Zeichen Press triumphed over Twenty-Twelve.

At times, the year was a nail-biter: will 2012 take it’s boot off of Zeichen Press’s face?… Will 2012 stop hitting Zeichen Press with a folding chair?… Yes and YES.

And as Zeichen Press says�adieu�to this Year Of Pestilence, Zeichen Press welcomes Twenty-Thirteen � welcomes it the way a mother welcomes the news of another pregnancy. The gift of amnesia is powerful and we are grateful for it.�I’m wrapping up the year, as usual, in Brainerd, Minnesota. The temperature is hovering around a balmy 0� and as the supplies dwindle to beer and bacon, we are considering sending the children to town for chocolate and dvd’s. And medical marijuana.

Stay tuned…

December 31, 2012
Goodbye 2010

2010 has a short driveway and as we backed down it we (I) felt wistful. It seems like only last year we were�freezing in Brainerd. Here we are again, eating thick-cut bacon and praying for the strength to survive round after round of Name That Tune. I don’t believe in New Year’s Resolutions because the prisons are overcrowded as it is and also because the world isn’t ready for my style of leadership. (Deer-in-the-headlights.)

This was a big year for Zeichen Press – and as I sit in my Fiberglass Insulated Cell, I feel gratitude. I also feel greasy from all of the bacon, but like the sparrow, I will take a sand-bath to freshen up when the time is right. A new website,�a fleet of reps,�prints in Room & Board, the dog’s wig:

Who wouldn’t be grateful? I believe Jen and I are coming up on The Five Year Anniversary of Our Zeichen Press Partnership – we will celebrate by not murdering each other in cold blood.

Don’t worry, we’ll send out Save-The-Date cards.

January 1, 2011
Mrs. Meyers, Goof-Off and 2,500 pounds of love

That’s what the press looks like – and I always play that song when I gaze upon it.

January 5, 2010

-33� in Brainerd

That’s where I am. Will I ever be able to get back to Minneapolis? Stay tuned.

And, just because I’m a little obsessed with the weather, I gathered some very important figures. -�Record low temperatures in The United States of America:

State	Temp.	Date	Station	Elevation
Alabama	-27	Jan. 30, 1966	New Market	760
Alaska	-80	Jan. 23, 1971	Prospect Creek	1,100
Arizona	-40	Jan.� 7, 1971	Hawley Lake	8,180
Arkansas	-29	Feb. 13, 1905	Pond	1,250
California	-45	Jan. 20, 1937	Boca	5,532
Colorado	-61	Feb.� 1, 1985	Maybell	5,920
Connecticut	-32	Feb. 16, 1943	Falls Village	585
Delaware	-17	Jan. 17, 1893	Millsboro	20
Florida	– 2	Feb. 13, 1899	Tallahassee	193
Georgia	-17	Jan. 27, 1940	Mauna Kea	13,770
Idaho	-60	Jan. 18, 1943	Island Park Dam	6,285
Illinois	-36	Jan.� 5, 1999	Congerville	722
Indiana	-36	Jan. 19, 1994	New Whiteland	785
Iowa	-47	Feb.� 3, 1996*	Elkader	770
Kansas	-40	Feb. 13, 1905	Lebanon	1,812
Kentucky	-37	Jan. 19, 1994	Shelbyville	730
Louisiana	-16	Feb. 13, 1899	Minden	194
Maine	-48	Jan. 19, 1925	Van Buren	458
Maryland	-40	Jan. 13, 1912	Oakland	2,461
Massachusetts	-35	Jan. 12, 1981	Chester	640
Michigan	-51	Feb.� 9, 1934	Vanderbilt	785
Minnesota	-60	Feb.� 2, 1996	Tower	1,430
Mississippi	-19	Jan. 30, 1966	Corinth	420
Missouri	-40	Feb. 13, 1905	Warsaw	700
Montana	-70	Jan. 20, 1954	Rogers Pass	5,470
Nebraska	-47	Feb. 12, 1899	Camp Clarke	3,700
Nevada	-50	Jan.� 8, 1937	San Jacinto	5,200
New Hampshire	-47	Jan. 29, 1934	Mt. Washington	6,288
New Jersey	-34	Jan.� 5, 1904	River Vale	70
New Mexico	-50	Feb.� 1, 1951	Gavilan	7,350
New York	-52	Feb. 18, 1979*	Old Forge	1,720
North Carolina	-34	Jan. 21, 1985	Mt. Mitchell	6,525
North Dakota	-60	Feb. 15, 1936	Parshall	1,929
Ohio	-39	Feb. 10, 1899	Milligan	800
Oklahoma	-27	Jan. 18, 1930	Watts	958
Oregon	-54	Feb. 10, 1933*	Seneca	4,700
Pennsylvania	-42	Jan.� 5, 1904	Smethport	est. 1,500
Rhode Island	-25	Feb.� 5, 1996	Greene	425
South Carolina	-19	Jan. 21, 1985	Caesars Head	3,100
South Dakota	-58	Feb. 17, 1936	McIntosh	2,277
Tennessee	-32	Dec. 30, 1917	Mountain City	2,471
Texas	-23	Feb.� 8, 1933*	Seminole	3,275
Utah	-69	Feb.� 1, 1985	Peter’s Sink	8,092
Vermont	-50	Dec. 30, 1933	Bloomfield	915
Virginia	-30	Jan. 22, 1985	Mountain Lake	3,870
Washington	-48	Dec. 30, 1968	Mazama	2,120
West Virginia	-37	Dec. 30, 1917	Lewisburg	2,200
Wisconsin	-55	Feb.4,�� 1996	Couderay	1,300
Wyoming	-66	Feb.� 9, 1933	Riverside	6,650

AND before we start killing and eating each other,�we are entertaining ourselves by throwing boiling water into the cold air.

rob-turns-water-to-steam

January 2, 2010

0�, Hydraulics and a Hair Dryer

Why is it that the one time I leave my house something awesome happens?? Jack drove the�Heidelberg Windmill�down from Wahpeton, North Dakota this morning. Drove it right down to our fancy studio.

I’m in Brainerd not running around the house in my underwear and Jen is back at ZP headquarters. Who knew (Jack the mover knew) that the press was going to be delivered TODAY? Apparently, the hydraulic part of the pallet jack (not Jack the mover) didn’t love the 0�. I guess it was frozen and I’m no expert but that seems like a setback. Jen called me wondering where she could find a hair dryer. I don’t know why she wanted to style her hair but I’m not going to judge. Apparently, Jen’s beautiful hair did the trick because the new press is safe and sound in the SW corner of the shop.

January 2, 2010
Waist-deep snow

Day Two. ��Snow fell through the night and drifted into the passage. The women and children are weaker today. Kenneth is ailing and must be dragged on a make-shift sledge. Robert appears to be delusional and only can speak of thick-cut bacon and death metal. The dogs are starting to look delicious, especially the fluffy one. We are, most certainly, in a predicament.

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Um, here’s a new card – inspired by the men, women, and children that ventured West .

The Donner (Birthday) Party

January 4, 2009
I’ll tell you what

Uh. December is, like, over. I don’t even care. Good riddance you ungrateful pig. You think you’re so great with your Christmas and your Hanukkah and your Britney Spears’ birthday. I’ve had it. I think we all have. Even with all of these Feast Days I managed to squeeze in our long-awaited catalog creation. And don’t think I forgot about my�25-birthday-cards. Self-imposed deadlines are the only way to get anything done. You know what else works? Pretending someone is going to kill you if you don’t get something done. SO, I scrounged up some images and wrote some lines. Yeah, yeah – I’ve not set the type or done layouts or pulled any proofs – mere formalities. And anyway, my shop elves will do it while I’m ringing in the New Year in lovely Brainerd, Minnesota. Here are a few images/lines – they’ll be 15% funnier after I’ve had my way with them. And another thing: they’re not all birthday cards. I’m not some sort of one-trick pony.

You make this, you live.

Good luck.

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Shhhh. Nobody’ll even notice us.

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Eh? What’s that? Whose birthday? Who are you? Get out of my room.

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��Happy Birthday, you tool.

…and in conclusion – quit calling me a pussy.

Sincerely,

Pevenshire Wiffynuts

x=get me the f*ck out of here.

Congratulations.

I said, CONGRATULATIONS!

If you’re old enough to remember this game
you are probably sitting in your own urine.

Thanks for coming to my birthday party, my tiny friends.

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Alright, that’ll do. I’ll post more after the elves work it out. Oh, and if you see a woman running around Brainerd in giant underpants and Sorel Boots it’s not me. Happy New Year!!!

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December 31, 2008