Zeichen Press

Category: Letterpress

  • Leather and Milk and Meat

    Every few weeks Paper Source orders the same poopy cards from us.sleep-eat-poop-orangecrapThis makes us happy because there is no faster way to evangelize than through a chain of shops that snakes its way through the country.

    Our message? 

    Isn’t it obvious by now? Spread (our idea of) letterpress goodness and joy like spackle into every dark crevice on this planet.

    No big deal.

    This card:u-r-useful-and-delichas nothing to do with fecal matter and so we were surprised (and delighted) to see it on our latest Paper Source order.

    Perhaps the following dream was a premonition?:

    There were no toilets — but there was a shower scene. The light over the C&Pc-and-p-shop-2012had become a shower head and I had become naked. I prayed that nobody would walk through (why didn’t I just lock it?) the shop door while I took my unnecessary (and might I add: gratuitous?) shower next to my printing press.

    But someone did walk in.

    subway-ghost

    I guess his name is Vincent Schiavelli. He was hiding behind the Heidelbergheidelberg-winter-2012with his cow. He wasn’t smiling. I woke up.

    The End

  • We want to be more than just friends with: Yankee Ingenuity (Chatham)

    Yankee Ingenuity -> 525 Main Chatham, MA 02633

    ANOTHER profile in that special series dedicated to bringing our readers biased reviews of shops that carry our goods.

    I love a Main Street.

    Someday, I will criss-cross this great nation in my (fictional) pick-up with my (fictional) Pocket Pomeranian and my (fictional)) beat-up Polaroid — snapping photos, capturing the quirkiness, the uniqueness, of each Main Street. These will make a great coffee-table book. A companion to my (fictional) Public Bathrooms Across America Book.

    The Queen of Main Streets is in Chatham, Massachusetts. Cape Cod. New England’s Main Streets look like movie sets and Chatham’s Main Street is so adorable it should be wrapped in a blanket and burped.chatham-main-street-map

    Yankee Ingenuity carries Zeichen Press cards, so it seemed polite to pay them a visit.yankee-ingenuity-andy(Notice my friend, Andy. Notice his t-shirt.)

    Once inside, my Attention Deficit Disorder became acute and I put on my horse blinders.

    I made my way to the counter and had a nice chat with the owner — she told me that her husband (an amputee) LOVES:i-miss-youI bet because of the tricorn hat.

    There were so many delightful treasures — here are a few that jumped out at me:yankee-ingenuity-food-face

    I would like a set of eight.

     

    yankee-ingenuity-puppetsA shark puppet would help me work through my fears.

    yankee-ingenuity-banksThese little banks would help me save for my criss-crossing America road-trip.

    That was fun. I mean, that was hard work. Do I have to hate something to write it off as a business expense?

  • Not Writing a Card About a Seahorse

    Nothing against seahorses — I’ll get around to writing about them one of these days. But for now, here is a card about a Victorian mermaid.victorian-mermaid-seafoam

    I think it could be used as a thank-you note? I don’t know… you will have to make that decision. These mermaids were less common than the typical topless mermaids.

  • Pssst: This is a Secret

    While filling out the application for a small business grant from Chase and Living Social, something occurred to me:

    Zeichen Press Headquarters is located exactly behind my house in a building some might call a “garage.” google-maps-4504-17th-markerThere. I’ve said it. I feel so much better. 

    It is 360 square feet of letterpress goodness. It is 10 tons of letterpress finery. BUT, IF we got that grant (would it be in the form of a giant, novelty cheque? I will accept nothing less.) we could expand … We could punch another hole in the leather belt of our business! We’d be that much closer to World Dominance.

    We are in over 500 shops around the world. We have dozens of reps. We have distributors in New Zealand, Australia, and the United Kingdom. BUT, what if we were able to operate from a larger venue? … What if we could hire a big, hairy man to operate our presses?mission-small-business-logo

    Step 1) Go to missionsmallbusiness.com and click ‘Log In & Support’ and log in using Facebook.

    Step 2) Type “Zeichen Press” in the search field.

    Step 3) Click on the blue Vote button next to our business name.

    Step 4) Weep, openly.

    We need 250 votes (what?! That’s all??) to be CONSIDERED for the grant. How much is the grant?

    $250,000.

    Or whatever.

    NO BIG DEAL.

    Please vote — I’ve been starving myself so I would take up less space in the shop. I’m so hungry.

  • Well, It’s You Girl

    There was a canopy bed in my bf’s bedroom with a Holly Hobby theme. There was a room covered in pink carpeting, but not entirely covered in pink carpeting — one wall featured a mural of a day-glo leopard — when the “black light” came on, it was party-time. There were, at least, four fireplaces — a bronze peacock guarded one of them. In that room, there was an off-limits record collection. Ziggy Stardust confused and intrigued me. An indoor pool in the basement? Yes. Sauna? Check.

    This was the Mary Tyler Moore house, circa 1980. AKA: Heaven.mtm-house-outside

    You know, Mary Tyler Moore?! Once Laura Petrie, reborn as herself and the star of her very own situation comedy set in my fair city?mtm-help-meI haven’t been back to the MTM House since my friend’s family moved out, BUT one of my spies was just there (it’s on the market for a cool $3,620,000) and saw our Room and Board prints hanging on two walls. Now, I know: Not as cool as a day-glo leopard mural, but as Miley Cyrus would say, “still pretty cool.”2-r-and-b-mtm-house

  • Nightmare/Retreat

    I’ve been told that it’s important to take a break — get in the car, hop on a plane, inject yourself with propofol — whatever it takes. I love free advice — remember when everyone told me to get my cat fixed? She did die but I hate dwelling on details.

    Anyway, I decided to take that break…

    Step one was important and involved shaving the dog.millie-wearing-a-wig

    This took about two hours because she insists on wearing the wig.

    Step two involved tuna-salad. That’s self-explanatory.

    And step three was spent poring over maps. This step was critical because, for some reason, I would be the person driving the car. “WHAT?!” you say. And rightly so.

    Yes, for two and a half hours, my passengers/prisoners sat with clenched jaws, praying for safe passage or a quick, painless death.

    Praise the Lord, prayers were answered, tuna salad was consumed, ticks were pulled, and screens were repaired.torn-screen-cabin

    It was only 24 hours, but it felt longer. If someone you love is diagnosed with a terminal illness and wants to make their life feel like it’s dragging on and on, send them to a place without flushing toilets — a place where you are forced to haul your own water to pour into the toilet bowl so the toilet will (magically) flush.

    The drive home was terrifying and I gripped the steering wheel like a scrap of wood floating by a freshly wrecked ship. If the other drivers on 35W only knew my fear, they would have given me my own lane and maybe a police escort.handsintheair

  • Free-Range Franimals

    Off-key Christmas carols float dreamily through the Summer air, the ice-cream truck trolls for kids using low-fi audio technology. Water-balloons are filled, teams are picked (bubble gum, bubble gum, in a dish, how many pieces do you wish?) but distractions are everywhere and soon talk turns from who is on which team to pretend lands filled with orphaned children. Poor, parentless children, left to cobble together meals from mint leaves and wild rhubarb.

    Summertime, and the children and animals are off-leash — days are filled with sprinklers, wet bathing suits, hot dogs burned on the grill, and day dreaming.

    Here’s a new card:not-your-typical-chicken-grab

  • Freaktastic.

    They were born not as two, but one. Cut from the belly of a woman who was hardly human. Her womb, an experimental lab — a petri dish, an incubator of life not fit for earthly habitation. But life, still. 

    Strange!

    No, not strange:freaktastic

  • Gratitude & Regret

    Like Bread & Pickle (LOVE their lattes) but it serves turkey chowder in an air-sickness bag. 

    Life is full of gratitude and regret. Both should be acknowledged. Hopefully via a Zeichen Press card. I am sure that if we all thoroughly examined our consciences, we would discover a whole room of regret. That room would be furnished with a urine-stained futon, a musty trunk, and an ash tray. That’s sad!

    CONVERSELY, the gratitude room is full of Daylilies and cookie jars.

    Here are some cards for both occasions: And don’t act like you don’t need both cards.

    We still love you.full-of-gratitudefull-of-regret-better