Jen was part of a dangerous expedition
New product was added tothe shopand I can’t help but wonder which cards will sell well… will they be sheep-related?:
Or not?
Category: True Story
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Captain’s Log, Stardate 4.1.2013
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Being Eaten By Monsters Is Not So Funny
My older brothers had a bunk bed, my little brother had his own bed and my sister and I shared a queen-sized bed.
We also shared countless hours of strange bedtime rituals: she would put on her school uniform (white blouse and brown plaid jumper) and pull her nightgown over it that was for early morning efficiency… I would skip the uniform step and go right to the nightgown.
I was so slow!
She would coat her arms in Elmer’s Glue,
I would dress and redress Raggedy Ann.
I don’t know if she shared my fear of the monster under the bed.
No, what am I saying?She did not. In fact, she created the fear!
Siblings can be so cruel.
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Local Woman Not Kidnapped By Craigslist Poster
PHEW!
My Faith in Humanity was fortified! I bought atripod from a stranger on Craiglist and hemade no mention of kidnappng, torturing, OR skinning me.
Now I can stumble my way through taking photographs of the new cards!
The Craigslist man assured me (three times) that the tripod was the “real deal” so that should help.
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Left, Left, Lefty, Right-o Left, Right
That’s the sound that March makes that and a muffled sobbing.February triggers cabin fever but March in Minnesota is far more dangerous.
Here’s a story about March:One Christmas, Santa put a baby albino rabbit under the tree so delightful!
The little rabbit grew into a big rabbit and by the next Winter, our basement smelled like the bunny barn at the State Fair. With scraps of wood and a bale of hay, I built an outdoor rabbit hutch.
In a pinch, it could serve as a coffin for an adult man.
IN A PINCH.
By March it was buried under several feet of snow and I’d order my eldest to go spend time with the rabbit in the snow coffin.
The moral of the story is: Get a dog.
And something about March creating crazy. Thank God I have an outlet for my March crazy:
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Vocabulary Quiz And Card Celebrating Angry Parents
My high school English teacher told the class that if we looked up the word ‘glib’ in the dictionary, there would be a picture of me.
She was right!
I think I felt insulted.
I’m sure Jen’s high school English teacher said something similar about her.
And if not, she should have.
What does this have to do with angry parents or a new card?
Obviously, my glibness was not celebrated at home. In fact, it was frowned upon can you believe it?!
And Jen’s reckless behavior?? You’ll have to ask her about that… I mean, pregnant at 19?! What was she THINKING?! (Wait, that was me?? We need to hire a fact checker.)
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The Importance of Wine and Kittens on the Interweb
There IS a universal language on the World Wide Web and understanding it only requires the appreciation of three things:
1) Kittens
2) Wine
3) Talking dogs
Also, videos where guys get kicked in the nuts but those existed before YouTube.
I follow the dog around the house with my iPhone and I plan on kicking a guy in the nuts this week.
My life is all kittens and wine, so I was able to create the following:
Feel free to share that 1,000,000 times.
And here’s a new card:It’s a true story.
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Mirror, Mirror On The Wall
Who’s the fairest one of all?
There is SO much happening around here! First, I had to bait a squirrel trap
to catch theKitchen-Squirrel. I was going to fill the trap with mykitchen garbage(her favorite) but I decided to go for something more bourgeois: Skippy Peanut Butter.And then there was a serious decision to make: Which card would Paper Source like more?
I hope we chose wisely because one of our lives (Jen’s) is on the line.Oh, and I didn’t forget that it is Valentine’s Day today, I am very romantic. Here is proof:
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Fairy Tales And True Tales
The poor peasant said it best, “even if we had only one and it were quite small, and only as big as a thumb, I should be quite satisfied, and we would still love it with all our hearts.”
If Fairy Tales were true, hedgehogs would speak and donkeys would spew gold. And poor old peasants could wish and receive tiny children.
I wrote a Fairy Tale about an old childless couple and a duck. Inspired bytrue events. In the story, there is a duck, a baby, and an angry mob.
But I’ve said too much!
I’ll get that published someday but MEANWHILE here is a card for the new parent it features a disgruntled chick.
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Hands-Free Forever
It was time forThe Sign Of Peace,and as all members of the congregation turned to offer their hand for a firm shaking, I slowly let my sleeve swallowmyhand.
With a forlorn look and one missing hand, I imagined the gasps of concern for my deformity. I turned to the family in the pew behind me they would wonder if I was born crippled or if my hand had been lost in a bloody accident. I was eager to extend my handless arm, my face already prepared and appropriately pitiful.
Oh, but why do parents have to crush their children’s fantasies?
And here’s another story about hands:
I took woodshop in highschool.
I did.I was the only girl. The room was filled with dangerous power-tools and I secretly hoped for the “automatic A” decribed by the teacher:”If a student is dumb enough to sever a finger or an entire hand, they will receive an automatic A.”
Unfortunately, I successfully made a box:
Speaking of hands, here’s a new card: