Zeichen Press

Category: True Story

  • With An Awl And Some Brandy

    I heard a story about a Minnesota fur trader.

    Tromping through the snow in seasonably cold weather, sans Northfacewinter gear and, more importantly, SANS Smartwool socks he found his feet to be frozen solid.Frozen like a forgotten chuck roast buried under the pile of pizzas and popsicles.

    What did he do?

    Simply dragged his body through the snow until warmish accommodations were reached, asked the hardy men in the room for an awl,punctured his feet, and had those same hardy men pour brandy over his numb tootsies.

    There. Feet saved.

    I didn’t write a card about that. (I’m sure I will.) Here’s something more lighthearted:when-i-grow-up curling-team

  • The Ruminator (2013 edition)

    2013 was a doozy!

    I daydreamed with suchintensity!

    Such intent!

    Such fervor!photoshop-grab-2And I can’t speak for Jen (just kidding, I will. Right now.) but I’m pretty sure she has beenon pins and needles JUST WAITING for cards from me in her inbox.(Between the printing, billing, and shipping.)

    I also can’t speak forThe First Intern, and nowThe Virtual Intern, but I will say that their lol’s have fueled my asbestos-covered furnace.

    So, as I sit here, wearing layers of long underwear, under an Indian blanket (soaked in smallpox), staring out the window… I am beyond grateful for the ladies that make ZeichenPress more than just a daydream.

    And now I’m all choked up!

    But enough of that!dear-snowi-do-say

  • Alright, Fun’s Over

    Christmas is SO two days ago and that leaves me wondering what to do with the rest of winter.

    Should I:

    A) Take up awinter sport, like: crying? Or swearing? Or punching the air?

    B)Write/design cardsabout this wonder-filled season.

    I choose both!better-to-give

  • Blog Post Meridiem

    Nighttime is just like daytime but with fewer socks and more Professor Blastoff.

    Who is Professor Blastoff??professor-blastoff-poster

    Professor Blastoffis a podcast/my gateway to dreamland. Not because it’s boring!Shut your pretty mouth.But because these three comedians lull me me to sleep with their soothing silliness.How can silliness be soothing??Just listen to itand quit judging me.

    Speaking of professors, a(n) (assistant) professor(Alicia Erian)at Northeastern University (Department of English and Tomfoolery) took such a shine to Zeichen Press that she is our new (virtual) intern! Responsibilities include (but aren’t limited to): Telling me how awesome I am.

    She didn’t love this next card butIstill loveher.marriage-is-2

  • Eight Days of Thanksgiving

    Postable asked me to create a cardthat celebrates a very rare occurrence: Thanksgiving and Hanukkah falling on thesame day.I don’t know much about theJewish Faith but I think that meanseightdays of leftovers.happy-thanksgivukkahThis mash-up won’t happen again for another 77,000 years.

    It’s true.

    In other news… Jen and I will celebrate Thanksgiving the way we always do: in period costume.Twist: Jen will be dunked in the dunking chair until she confesses to being a witch.

    Happy Thanksgiving!

  • A Winter Cocoon

    Now that the temperature has dropped to depressing lows, I’ve turned to TLC reruns for comfort. …My Strange Addictionis the best thing on television… Why wouldn’t I gorge myself on other people’s dysfunction?

    But enough about women addicted to drinking their own urine. Here’s a card about perspective.feeling-bad

  • How To Be A Supercentenarian

    It’s easy!Misao Okawa

    Old folks like Misao Okawa credit their longevity to poached eggs and whiskey.

    Oh, I can do that.

  • Alexis and Martha Stewart DO Love Zeichen Press

    I knew it!

    They’ve only been pretending to not see me chase them down the street! Kidders!
    Alexis just ordered all of herHoliday cards from the Zeichen Press shop… which card will she send to Martha??moose-30-f8

  • A Blessed Event

    Mawage.

    Mawage is wot bwings us togeder tooday. Mawage, that bwessed awangment, that dweam wifin a dweam…princess-bride-mawidgeAccording to TMZ, Kanye and Kim just got engaged.(Awww).Kanye rented out a baseball stadium, hired an orchestra to play Kim’s favorite song, got on one knee and presented her with a 15 carat diamond ring.

    Is that all?

    I think the space shuttle is rentable. So is Lana Del Ray. And so are all of the South African diamond mine workers.

    I expect more from Kanye.

    I’ll send him this card.proposing

  • With Eyes Closed And One Hand Tied Behind My Back

    There has been much debate and fury over genetically modified food.

    But what about genetically modified children?

    WHAT ABOUT THAT??trick-or-treatPS: I wrote this blog post on my iPhone because I despise easy things.