Zeichen Press

Category: Winter

  • She Wore A Small Christmas Tree On Her Head

    Secured to her bonnet with picture wire, butcher’s twine, and Christmas Spirit (egg-nog). That spruce-top sat atop her head for the entire season of Advent.

    She knew that it offset her dour expression — an expression she couldn’t redesign. Oh, but the tiny tree brought delight to all she passed!

    For those blissful weeks, nobody seemed to notice her stern glower, her face — twisted into the judgmental scowl went unnoticed. She imagined wearing other elaborate fancies on her head — but for now, this would do:tree-hat-lady-new

  • Man vs. Himself

    I was once one of them — an innocent amusement park customer. I looked down at them now, from the highest man-made point in Shakopee, Minnesota. I sighed and listened to the chug-chug-chugging from beneath our coaster — our lives depended on the integrity of a giant bicycle chain. Our open-casket hesitated for just a moment at the tippy-top of the steel summit — hesitated just enough for me to grasp the inevitable free-fall. And as we plummeted to our possible deaths, I screamed.

    And wet my pants.

    The End

    How old was she?

    Don’t judge me.

    Obviously, I wasn’t born riding a roller coaster, I was born screaming. And wetting my pants.

    *Hint: this photograph was taken close to the time of the event and **Double Hint: I’m not the baby.fran-dylan-taken-by-memaSpeaking of literary themes, there is a lot (not really) to dissect in this new (Holiday/Winter Season?) card:born-wearing-skate-3

  • Countdown To Countdown

    The newspaper is delivered to our doorstep each morning (by horse and buggy) and I comb through it — if I find a particularly odd/sad/absurd story, I read it aloud to whomever (the dog) is nearby.

    Here is an abbreviated digest of the only (two) articles I remember from the past (two) months: (In alphabetical order)

    1) Stratosphere jump by daredevil, Felix Baumgartner: In an attempt to break the world record, Felix jumped from a capsule suspended 23 miles above Roswell, New Mexico.

    felix fall

    I plan on breaking that record when I get tired of this whole letterpress thing.

    2) Talking elephant in South Korea loves Zeichen Press. Strange but true.

    Crazy?! I know! Koshik’s trainer must $*#%-love Zeichen Press.

    Enough time-wasting.

    Here is a new Christmas card (available NEXT Christmas. Sorry).the moose

  • Winter Preview

    The Winter Walk Home from school included two memorable rituals: Dipping our un-mittened hands in 25˘ Tom Thumb coffee (how old IS she?) and passing by a very high retaining wall.

    The wall held up the yard of our enemies: Two freckle-faced, red-headed brothers. These boys went to a Public School and as if that isn’t bad enough, they took great pleasure in tormenting me.

    I will remind you that this is what I looked like:fran-school-photo

    Why would anyone want to harm such a sweet creature?

    Armed with boulders of snow, poised-and-ready atop the wall — they would wait. Down Vincent Avenue I trudged: snow-pants under my plaid skirt, grease-covered hand-me-down coat, knit cap with sheepskin earflaps.

    Again, why would anyone want to harm such a sweet creature?

    I won’t tell you the ending.

    We had a dusting of snow the other day but I knew better than to break out the snow-pants and knit cap. It was merely a teaser, a preview, an appetizer, an AMUSE-GUEULE.

    Speaking of snow, here’s a new card: each-and-every-snowflake

  • But Wait, There’s More!

    Bears have it best — fattening up and slipping into their Wintertime coma. I sit here, like a fool, planning my Wintertime Wardrobe — if I never had to shower, I would wear my neck to ankle long-underwear uninterrupted.

    I have Faith that Winter will eventually turn to Spring.

    In Spring, I will tear off my layers of long-underwear. I will bury my Smartwool in the backyard. I will shun my calf-length coat like an old boyfriend. (I can’t believe I was with YOU!!)

    In Spring, kids graduate from educational institutions. And because I am a Giver, I give you these: New graduation cards. Don’t be like, “Why are you thinking about graduation in October?”

    Just accept the greeting card calendar. ACCEPT IT.so-long-suckas-boyso-long-suckasdear-school

  • State Fair Inspired Christmas Cards

    Maybe it’s the Grilled Spamwichesspam-dandy

    or the Walking Tacos. Maybe it’s the 4-H Barn, full of homespun country talent.

    chainsaw-board

    Or maybe it’s the Birth Barn.baby-pigsHam!

    Perhaps it is a combination of these magical happenings. This yearly phenomenon fills me with such joy… such eager anticipation! There are visual delights to behold whenever the head is turned!

    It reminds me of The Birth of Our Lord. I bet the shepherds know what I’m talking about.

    Anyway, I shouldn’t question my inspiration.

    Here are two new Christmas cards:new-christmas-spiritgoose-ew-grab

  • A Dog’s To-Do List -AND- Other Important Things

    One year, the Easter Bunny put a tiny white bunny in our Easter basket. I was sure it was meant for me and not for the other kids that shared my home and parents. An outdoor cage was built and the bunny lived in it until — and my memory gets fuzzy at this point — the bunny went to live with the Easter Bunny again? Yes, I think that’s what happened.

    I don’t remember how I got it, but I also had a durable green parakeet. I usually forgot to clean her cage and the droppings rose like stalagmites from the newspaper-covered floor.stalagmite

    We never had a dog, although my grandparent’s dog tried to make me his wife. That was pretty traumatizing.

    Last weekend, I was surrounded by six small dogs. I loved it so much, I made a new card:dog-to-do-listOh, AND the Important Thing?  We got cards into Paper Source. It’s about time you noticed us, you big lug. (Paper Source has 63 shops around the country. Thats 63 x something x $ = $$$$)

  • I Don’t Understand You

    I’m talking about leap day. Don’t even bother trying to explain it to me, I don’t actually care. The important thing is that I milked one more day out of this prudish month.

    Zeichen Press would be nothing without self-imposed deadlines (and cake) and our card-release was set for March 1.

    It was a real pressure-cooker situation around here — and because I don’t have enough intensity in my life, I locked myself in the linen closet and reenacted Apollo 13’s return journey. Just me, my laptop, both cats, and toilet paper tubes. We got home safely, God Bless America.

    Anyway, we can thank the ground crew (Kim & Fred) for jury-rigging up product photos:handsintheairaboveaveragebacon

  • Eyes on the Prize (Having Wonkavision)

    The New York International Gift Fair (NYIGF) wrapped up (sans blizzard). I wasn’t there (I never am) but it must have been a huge success because our rep is faxing orders to uswonkavision2

    faster than we can pull them.

    Fax machines work just like Wonkavision and every day I hope to find a chocolate bar instead of an order. But for now, I must be satisfied with ink on paper.

  • Midwinter Night’s Dream

    Jen is printing the new cards for the March release and I have decided to wear the off-brand Forever Lazy suit until April 1.

    The following is a dramatization of me wearing the suit.