Zeichen Press

Category: World Dominance

  • THINKING OF YOU

    Time alone was rare. But in a pinch,I was forced to conjure up an imaginary playmate. This was a strange exercise and not something I was particularly good at.

    Other children lived in complex and exotic worlds of make-believe I don’t think the “friends” in their pretend worlds werefrom Minnesota with names likeCarura FadidaandAnarada Salsa.

    There was a girl who lived in the glossy tile next to the toilet. I spoke with her when there was no soul around.

    Her name was “Fran.”fran-balance-beam

    Rooted in reality, with a strong sense of the superfluousness of an imaginary world. I was, and am, from German stock.Zees duss neecht make senss.

    It must be that toe-hold in reality that permits me to create the following:thinking-of-you-lady-3thinking-of-you-because-thought-dont-violate-restraining

  • Leather and Milk and Meat

    Every few weeksPaper Sourceorders the same poopy cards from us.sleep-eat-poop-orangecrapThis makes us happy because there is no faster way to evangelize than through a chain of shops that snakes its way through the country.

    Our message?

    Isn’t it obvious by now? Spread (our idea of) letterpress goodness and joy like spackle into every dark crevice on this planet.

    No big deal.

    This card:u-r-useful-and-delichas nothing to do with fecal matter and so we were surprised (and delighted) to see it on our latest Paper Source order.

    Perhaps the following dream was a premonition?:

    There were no toilets but there was a shower scene. The light over the C&Pc-and-p-shop-2012had become a shower head and I had become naked. I prayed that nobody would walk through (why didn’t I just lock it?) the shop door while I took my unnecessary (and might I add: gratuitous?) shower next to my printing press.

    But someonedidwalk in.

    subway-ghost

    I guess his name is Vincent Schiavelli. He was hiding behind the Heidelbergheidelberg-winter-2012with his cow. He wasn’t smiling. I woke up.

    The End

  • We want to be more than just friends with: Yankee Ingenuity (Chatham)

    Yankee Ingenuity-> 525 Main Chatham, MA 02633

    ANOTHER profile in that special series dedicated to bringing our readers biased reviews of shops that carry our goods.

    I love a Main Street.

    Someday, I will criss-cross this great nation in my (fictional) pick-up with my (fictional) Pocket Pomeranian and my (fictional)) beat-up Polaroid snapping photos, capturing the quirkiness, the uniqueness, of each Main Street. These will make a great coffee-table book. A companion to my (fictional)Public Bathrooms Across AmericaBook.

    The Queen of Main Streets is in Chatham, Massachusetts. Cape Cod. New England’s Main Streets look like movie sets and Chatham’s Main Street is so adorable it should be wrapped in a blanket and burped.chatham-main-street-map

    Yankee Ingenuitycarries Zeichen Press cards, so it seemed polite to pay them a visit.yankee-ingenuity-andy(Notice my friend,Andy. Notice his t-shirt.)

    Once inside, my Attention Deficit Disorder became acute and I put on my horse blinders.

    I made my way to the counter and had a nice chat with the owner she told me that her husband (an amputee) LOVES:i-miss-youI bet because of the tricorn hat.

    There were so many delightful treasures here are a few that jumped out at me:yankee-ingenuity-food-face

    I would like a set of eight.

     

    yankee-ingenuity-puppetsA shark puppet would help me work through my fears.

    yankee-ingenuity-banksThese little banks would help me save for my criss-crossing America road-trip.

    That was fun. I mean, that was hard work.Do I have to hate something to write it off as a business expense?

  • Unseasoned Traveler

    There were three things needed for airplane travel with a group of (Shea) children (in the 1970’s):

    1) Hubba Bubba

    2) Mad Magazine

    3) Air Sickness Bags

    I don’t think there was ever a flight that didn’t involve one (or more) of us vomiting. Because of this, we quickly located our air-sickness bags in the front seat pockets before seat belts were even fastened.

    My parents pretended they didn’t know us.

    It was shameful (and a relief) to hand your vomit-filled bag to the stewardess. In those days, the airline logo was proudly emblazoned on each bag.But no more.Today, the bag is white! Who wants to throw-up in a white bag?

    Not me.

    I designed a bag that I can’t wait to get in front of the bigwigs at SunCountry. They’ll love it.

    instruction-yes-no-use-this

    Our #1 Fanjust joined us on The Capefran-andy-cape-cod-smallerand I’m so glad he’s not a serial killer. He’ll be here for a few days and then we’ll have to say goodbye. I really, really hate saying goodbye. I hate it so much, I made a card:purple-goodbye

  • Shaaawwwp Chedahhh

    Well, here I am, back on The Cape for some Rest & Relaxation. Sharks are the big news out here

    shark-on-cape-kayak

    (sorry,Andy) so I sent the kids right out into the ocean.sitting-ducksI told them that we need to make clam chowder and clams don’t clam themselves so get to work.

    I believe the following card captures the feeling of every citizen on our planet:i-am-disturbed-and-yet-intriguedWhy would I send that card/who would want to receive a card like that?

    Um, I don’t know your friends and I’m guessing we all have at least one unabomber in our lives.

  • Is This Party Time?

    If Zeichen Press were a train, Jen would be the rails. She keeps the train going smoothly down the track, she keeps it from careening off plowing into innocent townspeople. This analogy makes me the conductor sweaty, with a cheek full of chewing tobacky and a headful of dreams.

    Every Summer, Jen dumps her two boys off at Camp she makes a thorough list.jen-list

    But this year was going to be extra-special! SHE was going to dump the boys and hop on a plane for hervery own vacation.I’m sureherlist was thorough and her suitcase was packed perfectly. I’m sure she left nothing out and measured all liquids to meet TSA requirements.

    She forgot one thing:

    oops-jen-suitcase

    But this year was going to be extra-special! SHE was going to dump the boys and hop on a plane for hervery own vacation.I’m sureherlist was thorough and her suitcase was packed perfectly. I’m sure she left nothing out and measured all liquids to meet TSA requirements.

    She forgot one thing:

  • Not Writing a Card About a Seahorse

    Nothing against seahorses I’ll get around to writing about them one of these days.But for now,here is a card about a Victorian mermaid.victorian-mermaid-seafoam

    I think it could be used as a thank-you note? I don’t know… you will have to make that decision.These mermaids were less common than the typical topless mermaids.

  • Pssst: This is a Secret

    While filling out the application for asmall business grant from Chase and Living Social, something occurred to me:

    Zeichen Press Headquarters is located exactly behind my house in a building some might call a “garage.”google-maps-4504-17th-markerThere. I’ve said it.I feel so much better.

    It is 360 square feet of letterpress goodness. It is 10 tons of letterpress finery. BUT, IF we got that grant(would it be in the form of a giant, novelty cheque? I will accept nothing less.)we could expand … We could punch another hole in the leather belt of our business!We’d be that much closer toWorld Dominance.

    We are in over 500 shops around the world. We have dozens of reps. We have distributors in New Zealand, Australia, and the United Kingdom. BUT, what if we were able to operate from a larger venue? … What if we could hire a big, hairy man to operate our presses?mission-small-business-logo

    Step 1) Go tomissionsmallbusiness.comand click ‘Log In & Support’ and log in using Facebook.

    Step 2) Type “Zeichen Press” in the search field.

    Step 3) Click on the blue Vote button next to our business name.

    Step 4) Weep, openly.

    We need 250 votes (what?! That’s all??) to be CONSIDERED for the grant. How much is the grant?

    $250,000.

    Or whatever.

    NO BIG DEAL.

    Please vote I’ve been starving myself so I would take up less space in the shop.I’m so hungry.

  • Well, It’s You Girl

    There was a canopy bed in my bf’s bedroom with a Holly Hobby theme. There was a room covered in pink carpeting,but not entirely covered in pink carpeting one wall featured a mural of a day-glo leopard when the “black light” came on, it was party-time. There were, at least, four fireplaces a bronze peacock guarded one of them. In that room, there was an off-limits record collection. Ziggy Stardust confused and intrigued me. An indoor pool in the basement?Yes.Sauna?Check.

    This was the Mary Tyler Moore house, circa 1980.AKA: Heaven.mtm-house-outside

    You know,Mary Tyler Moore?! OnceLaura Petrie, reborn asherselfand the star of her very own situation comedy set in my fair city?mtm-help-meI haven’t been back to the MTM House since my friend’s family moved out, BUT one of my spies was just there (it’son the marketfor a cool $3,620,000) and saw our Room and Board prints hanging on two walls. Now, I know: Not as cool as a day-glo leopard mural, but as Miley Cyrus would say, “still pretty cool.”2-r-and-b-mtm-house