When my daughter was small (until she became a giant),
she wrestled daily with Jungian archetypes… She was fascinated by the Actor/Storyteller… and the story of The Boy Who Cried Wolf was a favorite.
Oh, that Boy!! She was disgusted and fascinated!
When my daughter was small (until she became a giant),
she wrestled daily with Jungian archetypes… She was fascinated by the Actor/Storyteller… and the story of The Boy Who Cried Wolf was a favorite.
Oh, that Boy!! She was disgusted and fascinated!
Ahh, there is nothing like a Midsummer Night’s Homebirth!
Oh, and here’s a card. I’VE BEEN BUSY, OKAY??
We bought our house on the Cape in 1982…
this was the same year that The Go-Go’s penned their masterpiece.
Coincidence?? I THINK NOT.
Summers on the Cape were filled with so much adventure! There were trees to climb, sea-creatures to discover, rocks to paint (it’s complicated), and cans to return for 5˘ imagine returning an ENTIRE BAG of cans. Your very own money to spend on candy at the Barnstable News. I dragged a garbage bag of empty cans up Millway, past the dead bodies
to claim my prize. I did not anticipate this being such a great windfall… The Adult behind the counter counted all of my (mostly beer) cans (thanks Uncle Gary!) and the total staggered me.
“Two dollars and thirty-five cents.”
I gasped.
I walked past the wall of candy, right to the freezer full of ice cream treats. One box of six ice cream sandwiches, all for me. ALL FOR ME!!
I was a girl on a mission: Eat all six, share with no one, and never breathe a word of this to any of my siblings.
I held the package to my (boyish) chest, and ran until I was sure I was alone. Across the street from the cemetery, and next to an abandoned house, I ripped open the box and started eating. 1…2…3… still going strong… 4… slowing down… 5… Five! Only FIVE! What a failure!
I staggered home, and benevolently offered the final sandwich to my little brother. (What a fool he was for not even questioning my backstory!)
Present day: Southwest Airline’s Boeing 737: 40,000 feet.
I made these:

Would a plate-smashing scene make this trip more authentic? Maybe. Oh, but here we are bored out of our minds…
It’s tiresome, really! Just ocean, ocean, ocean… day in and day out.
And nobody even documents my joie de vivre! Sadly, I must document myself.
Jen sent me her selfie all the way from Zeichen Press Headquarters:
A wooden spade they gave to me
To dig the sandy shore.
My holes were empty like a cup.
In every hole the sea came up,
Till it could come no more.
~ Robert Louis Stevenson
Back on the Cape again…
Aren’t the kids so sweet? They have so much fun… Wait… WHAT?! How did I miss that??
When Pam (our New England rep) calls me, I have to think for a second… Is this Classic Pam the Cat calling me from beyond the grave?
But no, that would be silly! Classic Pam is too busy.
Pam spent last week at the Javits center in New York, I think because she loves us.
We love you too, Pam.
She is faxing orders over willy-nilly and I am busily taking pictures of kittens.
(She’ll thank me later.)
Spruce & Gussy -> 12 Mount Desert St. Bar Harbor, Maine
ANOTHER profile in that special series dedicated to bringing our readers biased reviews of shops that carry our goods.

This time, I’m two-timing Zeichen Press with The Book.
(Remember when I two-timed Zeichen Press with Tanek, and I made those paper dolls??)
OMG, good times!
Now I’m spending my waking hours wrangling kittens
and working on the book. Here’s a teaser:
PUT YOUR GLASSES ON.
Still blurry?? Wink.
I shed my layers this week and exposed my sun damaged, yet somehow pale, flesh to anyone unfortunate enough to glance over at me.

Sun was absorbed, golf carts were driven, and books were begun.
THAT’S RIGHT.
Golf carts were driven.
There were TWO mysteries at Zeichen Press HQ this week. I prayed and prayed to Benedict Cumberbatch,
and my prayers were sort of answered, because Jen came to search/tear the house apart.
FIRST, one of the five kittens was missing.
Tib had means AND motive. She was questioned and released.
Poor Tib… We accused her of eating her weakest kitten. (True story.)
The kitten was later found, unharmed.
Sorry Tib.
But what was the second mystery, Fran??
HUSH, it will be explained in my Tell-All book, coming soon!
OR to use a term I (maybe) coined:
Wintermission!
I’ve been enjoying hour after hour of On Hold Music
and eating all of the Holiday Cookies.
Oh, AND setting up a GoFundMe for Tib The Cat. (Donate today to be eligible for one free kitten. Please. I beg of you.)
—
AND HERE’S A BREAK-UP CARD. I’m a giver.

Thanks to buzzfeed quizzes, examining my conscience is so much easier. And shouldn’t we all ask ourselves those tough questions this time of year? ”If I were a pizza, what kind would I be?” Or, “Do I prefer Miley Cyrus from her Hanna Montana days or on a Wrecking Ball?”
But what is a life if it’s not examined? Not picked apart? Not squeezed like an engorged tick in a ziplock baggie?

I make cards between all of this productive introspection. Sometimes fictional creatures are harmed. Sometimes, they are spared.
Merry Christmas Eve-Eve!
I designed the Tanek website some dog years ago — it’s time for something fresh and tasty.
Landing page = done.
More to come…
My agent wants a second book, he assures me that he’ll sell this one. He better, because I bought a $95 rug from Target. We’re not all fancy New Yorkers, Peter. WE’RE NOT.
So, it looks like this Winter will look just like last Winter… Except, I had the kids drag the trunk down from the attic for a coffee table.
Oh, the cats? Never mind those. This place is crawling with them.
Fine, here’s this year’s Christmas tree.
Where can a person do all of their Christmas (AND CHANUKAH) shopping??
Amazon?
Shut your mouth.
Let me be more specific. LET ME.
Where can a person do all of their Christmas (AND CHANUKAH) shopping for amazing hand-made gifts while laughing with friends and/or family, eating ethnically diverse foods, AND SEE FRAN AND JEN??
THE NO COAST CRAFT-O-RAMA!!
Omg… that’s TOMORROW! Oh, THAT’S what Jen has been talking about! And THAT’S what these boxes are for!
See you there!
XO!