• It’s time for Christmas rejects!

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5SH1j1luFOw&feature=related

    Gosh, that’s a scary movie! Those poor misfit toys… the choo-choo with the square wheels, the pistol that shoots jelly, the effeminate jack-in-the-box…  I think the jack-in-the-box and that little dentist-elf would make a cute couple.

    Okay, so I keep trying to design something to print on these FIVE THOUSAND BEVERAGE COASTERS that we have lying around. I guess no one cares about preserving the shine and luster of their finished furniture.

    I think that’s barbaric.

    Maybe they think it sends the wrong message? I don’t. I think it’s perfectly acceptable to booze it up through the 12 days of Christmas. In fact, it is acceptable all year round IF you set your drink on one of our beverage coasters. (Was that some sort of plug?? Yes. Here’s a link: AND here’s one I designed just for Touchpoint Retail. It has the recipe for a candy cane martini right on it. Isn’t that handy?? coaster-for-touchpoint-450x229

    They decided to go with a card design from the Zeichen Press line but JUST TO BE DIFFICULT (I mean, sui generis.) they had us print it on an oversized SQUARE coaster. But I must admit, it’s pretty darn nice.

    touchpint-coaster-card-fron

    touchpoint-coaster-card-bac

    December 18, 2009
  • Two-timing ZP

    But I LOVE you Zeichen Press! I do. It’s just that Tanek has something (money) that you don’t have. Does that sound shallow? It’s not, I swear. It’s not just the money. They make me coffee. AND they tell me I do good work. You just sit there and take. And take and take and take – a word that comes to mind is “relentless.” But not in a bad way. Did I mention they’re architects? I know! Restaurants, retail, residential… Wait, did I mention restaurants?… Of course you had to know, the signs were everywhere. Remember when I made those Tanek paper dolls? tanek-paper-doll-inside-card

    Or that 4-color halftone?

    tanek-card-untrimmed2

    Wait, that was just last week. Anyway, I’m totally NOT breaking up with you. I’m just going to be seeing them too. But that’s cool, right? Don’t be so selfish.

    **Editor’s Note: What does this mean??? Zeichen Press is just doing some marketing for Tanek.

    December 13, 2009
  • Just a Christmas Card

    No big deal.

    Just a photoshopped-four-color-halftone-letterpress-printed Christmas Card.

    Jen and I were like, “Oh, that’s cool. For a Christmas card.”tanek-card-untrimmed2

     

    December 10, 2009
  • No Coast 2009, Sleestacks and ANOTHER Doppelganger

    WHEW! What a weekend!

    First of all, Amanda came to my house to do my hair.

    She did.

    Shut up.

    I totally care about how I look. It seemed strange to look so beautiful AND carry 500 lbs of cards from a loading dock to a folding table. But I did it for the kids. Jen and I have worked out a system of communication that really facilitates a speedy set up: Jen orders me around like some sort of slave and I stifle sobs behind my Crying Scarf.

    There was another letterpress company about 10 feet away from us and we had to fight to defend our turf. Zeichen Press ended up winning because we have better dance moves and we bribed the judges with Bazooka gum.

    I figured out something pretty important on Saturday morning: I look like a Sleestack.

    fran-sleestack

    sleestack-207x300

    OH! Another thing that was pretty amazing: That dapper gent from one of our new cards actually bought the card that he is on!

    I hope she likes thoughts that count. Letterpress printed on recycled paper. Comes with coordinating envelope and packaged in cellophane sleeve.

    thoughts-that-count-real-ma

    I love a handsome man with a wallet full of cash. (Do you hear me, Kenny?!)

    Let’s see… oh, yes.. the show was jam-packed and we made gobs of moola. I mean, we spread the joy of the season through letterpress goodness.

    Here’s me laughing at one of my own jokes:fran-laughing-no-coast-2009

    And here’s Jen endlessly fussing over a display:jens-arms-arranging-cards-2

    I almost forgot to share this bit of news: Somebody actually stole an entire stack of these:I'm still stalking you. Letterpress printed on recycled paper. Comes with coordinating envelope and packaged in cellophane sleeve.

    What the???

    She must be a professional stalker.

    December 7, 2009
  • Mr. Heidelberg… you RASCAL!

    If all goes according to my master plan, 2,500 pounds of love will soon be mine.

    2,500 pounds…

    That’s one of these:

    austin-mini-cooper-sport-re

    Or two of him:

    alg_heaviest_man

    Are you intrigued??

    heidelberg-logo

    November 22, 2009
  • There Is No Turning Back

    The new logo has been crafted of copper and is ready for printing.

    …But who are those people supposed to be?? And why does the woman wear her hair as if it were 1986?? Only I know the answers to these mysteries and I have just boarded a train headed for Zermatt.

    zeichen-press-new-logo

    November 17, 2009
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  • HAPPY THANKSGIVING

    Much to be thankful for this year… Jen and I have FOUR working lungs, DreamWorks Studios loves us, AND (fingers crossed) Tib is pregnant again. Norman Rockwell Thanksgiving.jen and fran

    November 27, 2014
  • Big Dreams

    Last night, I dreamt I took a day trip to Manitoba. Just an afternoon of pool-swimming at an area motel. I came home and bragged to everyone, “I went to Manitohhhba today.”manitobaTwo observations:

    1) No wall-less public toilet in this dream?? That’s right. Who’s in charge now, Dreams??

    2) My dreams have finally taken me to Canada…

    AND ANOTHER THING: Winter came completely out of nowhere this year. One week it was 71°, and the next week, I had to break out the Smartwool. “Oh, Minnesota! You are so crazy! Potholes and moquitoes and icehouses!”

    Shut up.she was SO picking truth next time.

    November 25, 2014
  • I DO Believe!

    Our four desks were pushed together for a Thanksgiving art project; we wrapped bits of Autumn-colored tissue paper around the end of No. 2 pencils, carefully dipped the wrapped end into the puddle of Elmer’s Glue squirted onto a scrap of construction paper, and placed the florette onto the the inside of the outline of a turkey. 1…2…3… Ten seconds for each one to dry and the process to start all over again.tissue paper turkey

    What a perfect time for my 4th grade teacher to join us!

    Conversation was breezy but quickly turned to talk of Christmas presents… Boy Student, “Can you believe that I believed in Santa Clause until I was in SECOND GRADE!” Laughter from the table… Laughter fades… MY TEACHER confides in the little group, “You guys, don’t laugh — I believed in Santa Clause until I was in FOURTH GRADE!”

    Hmm, *I* believed in Santa Clause until that very moment. 🙠<–Frowny Face

    OH, BUT WHY DOES LIFE HAVE TO BE SO PEPPERED WITH DISILLUSIONMENT??

    Fast forward 33 years, DreamWorks StudiosDreamWorks logo.3

    just ordered 400 of THIS card.I want to believe-1Sooo, there’s that or whatever.

    November 18, 2014
  • WRAPPED IN BACON???

    Just imagine this:Fran school photo

    in a Witch or Hobo costume, “Trick or Treat!”

    I was never Wrapped in Bacon like these fancy L.A. kids… Our L.A. rep sent us this:kid wrapped in baconI’m assuming this little person was Trick-or-Treating… But I see no treat bag, nor do I see a 3-ring binder, NOR DO I SEE the latest issue of The Watchtower.

    True story: Since I put my NO SOLICITORS card on the front door, I have had, exactly, zero solicitors. Buy yours today!NoSolicitors

    November 11, 2014
  • Storm Windows and Firewood and New Cards

    And maybe a pregnant cat.

    Don’t say anything. JUST DON’T. Tib might have snuck out the window like some sort of wild teenager. We’ll know as soon as we catch her in the kitchen with a tub of Ben & Jerry’s.

    In other (less controversial) news from the Zeichen Press Headquarters: The new cards are all printed and in the shop! Wanna see?damn jesus.smallerand good riddance.2.smallerlisten up old manthankth.smalleryou are so gangster.smallerdont step indadditude.smallerparty animal.smallerjust remember.smallerCongratulations, you finished learning.smallerOnce upon a time.smaller

    November 5, 2014
  • Orange Is the New I’m Back

    Life is like the murky end of our lake and you’ll have to dump in a 10 lb. bag of Aquacide Pellets if your mom isn’t there to rake the weeds away.

    What is she talking about?

    Don’t act like you don’t know.

    Do you need a Congratulations-ish card?

    You do?!congratulations on your release

    October 28, 2014
  • Forward, march!

    It only took a few minutes to have a mole removed last week (my chest tube scar needed a BFF) and I texted Jen when it was done, exclaiming my relief at the speediness of the procedure.

    She told me that that was the easy part.

    That’s the way our relationship works — I get my head all full of smells of burnt flesh and joy, and Jen tethers my helium balloon to the doorknob.

    It works. IT WORKS.

    It’s time, once again, to print cards for the new release.

    Choosing a corresponding envelope color can be difficult, and when Lucy or Loretta are unavailable we use another neutral third party.Dinah and new cardSee how intense she is?

    SETTLE DOWN, DINAH.

    PS: You know we didn’t win Martha’s American Made Award competition. Stop asking.

    October 20, 2014
  • Now What?

    We find out on Friday if Martha is adopting us — I already packed my bags. I told Jen to pack hers but I don’t think she heard me as she was pealing out of the driveway with her windows rolled up. Oh, Jen!

    We (Jen) started printing the new release today, and to celebrate, Millie left Jen a present right in front of Zeichen Press HQ.shop with words 2It only seemed appropriate that this card be printed first:dont step in the birthday present I made for you

    The rest of the week (until the adoption), we (Jen) will be printing all of the new cards:once upon a time new momdaditudelisten up old manand good riddanceyou finished learningdamn. jesus punked us so goodPARTY ANIMALTHANKTH just remember.new ladies.2at leastyou are so gangster

    October 14, 2014
  • Dim Lights at the End of Dark Tunnels

    I see it! October 13th is the Dim Light at the End of the Dark Tunnel… The Big Day.

    The last day to vote for us.

    Despite my well documented crippling math anxiety, Dear School.2I’ve done some calculations: 4 days of voting remaining x 6 votes per day = 24 votes per person. 

    You better double-check that number/go vote! <–That’s the link!american made finalist badge

    October 10, 2014
  • Feeling the Love

    I barely wept with gratitude when I found out Minnesota Business Magazine wanted to write about Zeichen Press for Martha Stewart’s American Made competition… And when Minnesota Business Magazine writer, Erica Rivera, told me to hush my pretty mouth so she could interview me, I did hush my pretty mouth. I do as I’m told. I DO.

    Anyway, Erica wrote this masterpiece:

    And then I scooped the litter box.

    AND here’s a page about litter boxes from my STILL UNSOLD book:*color.31.sick and tired

    October 3, 2014
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