• The Big Picture

    This is the face of a girl who got a globe for Christmas the year before. A girl determined to prove to everyone how much she needed; NAY, deserved the Lite-Brite. fran-lite-brite

    Santa would never make that mistake again. 

    This determination guided the girl for a lifetime, nothing would stand between her and her singleminded fixations. Fran etch a sketch

    NOTHING.

    fran-covered-in-kittens

    One of the latest obstacles were some pesky illustrated creatures 45510_frog_concertwho needed to be removed so one frog could fulfill his God-given right to sing Wayne Newton.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LRPILZS1hc8

    And sing he did. 

    darling-danke-schon

    Yours for only $4.50! (SOON.)

    darling-frog

    October 21, 2016
  • Slightly Different

    Usually bragging is reserved for Facebook, family newsletters, and prison cells. But showering has made me feel fancy and solitary confinement has made me such a blabbermouth!
    SO behold our new bathroom:bathroom-newMillie wanted to show off the bathroom but she isn’t tall enough to open the backdoor.squirrel-millie-wordsToo bad we re-screened that door!

    Did that squirrel even know he/she was the color of my new grout?? I’m kidding! I’m sure he/she did!

    Speaking of Dove Gray™ grout, (WERE WE??) I made a new card. Intern #1 said it was Mom Humor. I told her to go to her room.an-elephant-never-forgets

    October 11, 2016
  • Copy. Paste. Repeat. Copy. Paste. Repeat. Copy. Paste. Repeat. Copy. Paste. Repeat.

    Have I mentioned how much Millie The Dog one-dog-named-milliebarks at anything and everything within a 500 foot perimeter of our house? Mailman, delivery-person, solicitors, neighbors, guests, the kids, trick-or-treaters, my mom… We’ve talked a lot about it and she feels super responsible for alerting us – I told her that we really don’t need that kind of help, BUT WE DID. SHE WAS RIGHT. SHE’S ALWAYS RIGHT.

    SO, my driveway was full of a dumpster filled with bathroom remodel debris, Millie was having a staycation with a friend, AND SOME JERK CLIPPED THE LOCK ON OUR SHED AND STOLE MY BIKE.cut-lockAnd he threw the lock in the dirt like some sort of criminal.

    AND THEN, the loser (no judgment) tried to sell MY bike on a site called OfferUp.com.img_3265

    But he is as slippery as an eel wrapped in a banana peel, and disappeared INTO THE NIGHT. Police have been alerted, prayers to St. Anthony have been said. I asked St. Anthony if he could forward my prayers onto the Patron Saint of Stolen Goods and he told me to go back to sleep and stop Googling escutcheons for the new bathroom.

    FINE.

    While I wait for my miracle, I spend days mindlessly migrating ALL of the content from the Zeichen Press site to THE NEW Zeichen Press site. DON’T WORRY, you won’t even be able to tell the difference because we wanted to spend a lot of money on something that nobody notices.

    OH, and Jen got some new/old cutslittle-man-in-cutsso I made a Father’s Day Card out of that little man.go-to-bedBACK TO MIGRATING/WEEPING.

    September 22, 2016
  • Hygiene Tester

    I did the math and figured out that two toilets MINUS one toilet EQUALS one toilet. And one shower MINUS one shower EQUALS zero showers.

    I desperately yelled that equation to the boys during my bathroom demo, but they pretended not to hear me.boys bathroom demoI only gave birth to them to provide me with free manual labor. Ha! Who’s laughing now, boys??

    Anyway, who needs a shower??Arnie GrapeOR a bath??bathroom mid-project.smallI barely do.

    And as soon as all of my family and friends get back from being out of town for a month, they’ll tell you the same.

    Here’s a new birthday card/fantasy:Happy Bidet

    September 5, 2016
  • Jenmas Eve!

    Everyone celebrates Jenmas Eve differently.*I* like to go to Hot Plate SANS Jen to eat a Mexican Omelet surrounded by a gallery of paint-by-number masterpieces.

    Hot Plate wall

    YEARS AGO, Jen (carefully) slaved away over *her* masterpiece and it sits atop a shelf of knick-knacks in Cape Cod. 

    knick knack shelf cape cod jen made thisShe was so dedicated! 

    I bet she knew that someday I’d repay her in birthday cards.

    dog person crazy cat lady

    August 25, 2016
  • Will Design 4… White Italian Cararra Marble Hexagon Tile

    The Art Licensor (RSVP) asked us for some birthday cards and because I love to work/need money, I made nine. I won’t bore you with the details/need to get back to listening to my new podcast (My Favorite Murder).

    Here are a few… Will they choose any???

    Stay tuned.

    rsvp.2.self medicating rsvp.i buried rsvp.your birthday called rsvp.birthday cake.one piece

    Thank you, Karen Kilgariff and Georgia Hardstark. I can’t wait until Alexis Stewart and I meet you in person!

    August 16, 2016
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  • Pantone 801 Uncoated Period (Periodo Azul)

    Remember how I promised that when my painkillers wore off, I’d make a card based on The Lung Collapsing Event? It turns out that I only needed them for a couple of days and flushed the rest ~ DON’T GET ANY IDEAS ~ and then I made this breakup card:i love you like a collapsed lung.801

    September 28, 2014
  • #AmericanMadeMSL AND The Land of Counterpane

    Recovering from a collapsed lung is the perfect time to learn all about hashtags.

    Thank you, lung!Land of Counterpane

    I obsessively tweeted and nagged everyone on Facebook. I’M SORRY EVERYONE.

    Wait, #HelpMe.

    It’s been a trending/not-trending rollercoaster-week for Zeichen Press…trending 11screen grab trending 4screen grab trendingtrending.15YOU MUST REALLY BE SUFFERING!

    But may the best (wo)man (named Fran and Jen) win. Did I mention that you have to vote 6x every day through October 13th? And did I mention that my doctor told me that my other lung will collapse if we don’t win??american made finalist badge

    PS: I made a new Mother’s Day card…thankless job.period

    September 26, 2014
  • Voting is a Good Thing

    Running for student council vice president of my Freshman class was so stressful! Our platform was twofold:

    1) Instruct — and therefore unify — our class via a comprehensive Class Cheer: “Nine-tee! Nine-tee! Ninetyninetyninety nine-tee!!! YAYYYY!!”

    2) Oh, I guess it was only a onefold platform…

    NEEDLESS TO SAY, votes were cast, and I won. It was a real nail-biter.AboveAverage

    SPEAKING OF VOTING, you can finally start voting for Zeichen Press here!martha stewart american made logo 2

    And you can (and should!!) vote 6x per day! SIX TIMES. PER DAY.

    September 15, 2014
  • Attack of the Spontaneous Pneumothorax!

    Yikes! That sounds scary!

    Lungs are not supposed to collapse, but that’s what makes life so exciting! Sunday mornings could be all jejune French toast and bacon, OR they could be all ambulance and emergency surgery.collapsed lung discharge papers(I was just as stoic as the woman in the above illustration while they performed my surgery. Eyes wide open, no tears.)

    Life is so full of twists and turns!Fran lung collapse

    There is nothing like having your very own chest tube — my aunt said it was my friend. And indeed it was! My little friend with a one-way valve who caused me nothing but suffering. After just two days, the doctor pulled my friend out of my chest — and again, like the woman in the illustration: I was stoic, with eyes wide open and no tears.

    I’ll write a card about this as soon as my painkillers wear off.

    September 10, 2014
  • We want to be more than just friends with: Portobello Road and Rags

    Portobello Road and Rags -> 4 Dock Street Edgartown, Martha’s Vineyard, MA

    ANOTHER profile in that special series dedicated to bringing our readers biased reviews of shops that carry our goods.

    Great. Now I HAVE to go to Martha’s Vineyard.portobello road.rags signageBut I’ll do it for you, reader, because I’m a giver. A GIVER.

    Will residents of Martha’s Vineyard embrace Zeichen Press cards? Will they clutch them to their breast while weeping tears of joy and relief?? WILL THEY??carly simon

    Oh, Carly Simon! Let us both wear our overalls, place one of our feet delicately upon a fieldstone wall, and laugh and laugh while we read Zeichen Press cards that we (you) bought from Portobello Road!

    Yes, LET’S.portobello road interior inside portobello road

    September 6, 2014
  • American Made… FINALIST!

    Zeichen Press is a finalist for Martha Stewart’s American Made contest. 

    YOU HEARD ME.

    american made finalist badge

    The Grand Prize is $10,000 and Martha legally adopting the winner. Alexis is so tired of being an only child. Remember when I told you to SHARE the American Made Zeichen Press page on Facebook and twitter??

    WHY?

    BECAUSE I’M ACTIVATING MY SOCIAL NETWORK TO EARN A FINALIST SPOT!2014 wildcard bannerHelp!

    And don’t worry, I’ll be harassing you on Sept 15th to vote for us…

    Here’s the script they gave me: The judges have named me a 2014 @AmericanMadeMSL Awards finalist. Support & share my work to get involved! #celebratethemaker

    September 1, 2014
  • American Made!

    We make things!

    We live in America! 

    martha stewart american made logo“American Made spotlights the maker, supports the local, and celebrates the handmade. The program is made up of people and communities that have turned their passion for quality craftsmanship and well-designed goods into a way of life.”

    A WAY OF LIFE.

    BAM.

    In order for Martha to notice Zeichen Press (umm, she should really just ask Alexis about us) YOU need to SHARE our American Made nomination page with all of your Facebook friends and twitter followers:

    • Step one: Click this link.

    • Step two: Scroll down a teensy bit on that page.

    • Step three: Click button that looks like this:american made share buttons(WARNING: The above image IS NOT AN ACTUAL BUTTON, MOM)

    • Step four: Follow instructions.

    PS: I love you.

    PPS: Deadline is Friday! NO BIG DEAL.
    August 27, 2014
  • Ode to Jen

    Merry Jenmas, everyone!

    MY dog must have been confused, she left birthday presents for Jen on my living room floor last night? Oh, Millie…Millie-wearing-a-wig

    Thomas Edison’s quote is so true: Genius is one percent inspiration and ninety-nine percent spray bleach.dont step in the birthday present I made for you

    August 26, 2014
  • Adiós Diablo

    I had a pretty big realization when I was 23. This revelation came as I was drifting off to sleep and caused me to sit straight up in bed.

    CRUELLA DE VIL = CRUEL DEVIL!!!CRUELLA DE VILHow could I have been so blind for so long?!

    No matter. Here’s a card.going going going gone

    August 23, 2014
  • Oh, that old saying!

    You know what I’m talking about??

    Read the card out loud for full effect.the saw that woke the sherpas yak

    August 14, 2014
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