Zeichen Press – Page 12 – Design & Letterpress for the people.

Scatology 101

My interests are broad and highbrow � sometimes I think about zombies and sometimes I think about bowel movements.�I guess I’m not the only one.�The reaction to the�zombie card I posted on Easter�caught me off guard.

Caught me off guard like a show poodle at the dog park.�(See, I’m the poodle, and the big dirty dogs come out of nowhere and molest me).

And that brings me to bowel movements. I just realized that both of the cards�Paper Source�chose to carry are poop-related.�How childish! How jejune!

April 10, 2012
Belated Easter Cards

Something (the cat mistaking my bathroom floor for her litter box) woke me up this morning and although I completely resented being awake, I wrote three cards.

Here they are.

Don’t send me hate mail.

April 8, 2012
Duck Was Here

I was getting dressed… brushing my teeth… pulling my hair into a ponytail… looking for my wallet… looking for my keys… feeding the dog… All the while, I heard many, many ducks flying overhead.

QUACK QUACK QUACK QUACK QUACK QUACK QUACK QUACK QUACK QUACK QUACK QUACK QUACK QUACK QUACK QUACK QUACK QUACK QUACK QUACK QUACK QUACK QUACK QUACK QUACK QUACK QUACK QUACK QUACK QUACK QUACK QUACK QUACK QUACK QUACK QUACK QUACK QUACK QUACK QUACK QUACK QUACK QUACK QUACK

I thought,�“Wow… there must be like a hundred ducks… they sure quack a lot…”

I walked outside.

There was just one duck.

On my roof.

April 3, 2012
Status Updates Of Yore

�Managed to trap and skin a rat �� it will make a delicious stew AND the fur can be used to plug my empty eye-socket � the Lord doth provide!

�Does anyone know where I can find some food? My family has been living on brown bread and my old trousers for the entire Winter. Help!

�Dug such a deep pit today � grandma will surely die this Winter and the grave will be ready in Spring. #planahead

�My husband has had a fever for so long � the barber-surgeon is going to start the bloodletting tonight. Fingers crossed…

�My son is going to the�gibbet�tomorrow. 🙁

Okay, that was nice. How about a new card?

March 31, 2012
For Cheese and For My Country

Oscar Litterer lived in my house and he loved his ham radio. He loved it so much, he built a secret radio room under the stairs. I imagine he sat there night after night broadcasting his message to the moon and back. He was not alone � others really did share his passion for frequency modulation � but not in his own home. In his own home, his wife tended the peonies and their only son was devoted to the project of digging the hole in the driveway.

What a lonely life for Oscar!

When someone has a passion for something, they shouldn’t hide under the basement steps. They should open a shop and hire Zeichen Press to design t-shirts.�

March 30, 2012
Plan F

F for Fran. Plan Fran…

Ready? OK!

F-R-A-N… That spells, Fran! Yayyyy!That’s how I start every morning. A rousing cheer, followed by a�shot of micro-nutrients and a cup of coffee.�Rituals are so important.

On this particular morning, I heard my favorite sound in the world ��right after the cry of a newborn baby and right before the death-rattle of my enemies�� the fax machine.�Beep-beep-boop-beep-bip-bope-bop………..whirrrrrrrrrrr

‘Twas our first order from that paper super-power,�Paper Source! I grabbed the fax, my coffee and laptop, and headed to the warehouse. I set all three things down in front of me,�sat myself down, faced all squarely and said aloud, “Oh, this is nice.”

And to celebrate, I knocked over my coffee cup, spilling its contents all over the fax and into my open laptop.

Luckily, the dog ran in, lapped up the spilled coffee and pooped on the floor.

When is Jen coming home?

March 28, 2012

Pantone 801 Uncoated Period (Periodo Azul)

Remember how I promised that when my painkillers wore off, I’d make a card based on�The Lung Collapsing Event? It turns out that I only needed them for a couple of days and flushed the rest�~ DON’T GET ANY IDEAS ~�and then I made this breakup card:

September 28, 2014
#AmericanMadeMSL AND The Land of Counterpane

Recovering from a collapsed lung is the perfect time to learn all about hashtags.

Thank you, lung!

I obsessively�tweeted�and nagged everyone on�Facebook. I’M SORRY EVERYONE.

Wait,�#HelpMe.

It’s been a�trending/not-trending�rollercoaster-week for Zeichen Press…YOU MUST REALLY BE SUFFERING!

But may the�best (wo)man (named Fran and Jen)�win.�Did I mention that you have to vote 6x every day through October 13th?�And did I mention that my doctor told me that my other lung will collapse if we don’t win??

PS: I made a new Mother’s Day card…

September 26, 2014
Voting is a Good Thing

Running for student council vice president of my Freshman class was so stressful! Our platform was twofold:

1) Instruct � and therefore unify � our class via a comprehensive Class Cheer: “Nine-tee! Nine-tee! Ninetyninetyninety nine-tee!!! YAYYYY!!”

2) Oh, I guess it was only a onefold platform…

NEEDLESS TO SAY, votes were cast, and I won. It was a real nail-biter.

SPEAKING OF VOTING, you can finally start�voting for Zeichen Press here!

And you can (and should!!) vote 6x per day! SIX TIMES. PER DAY.

September 15, 2014
Attack of the Spontaneous Pneumothorax!

Yikes! That sounds scary!

Lungs are not�supposed�to collapse, but that’s what makes life so exciting! Sunday mornings could be all jejune French toast and bacon, OR they could be all ambulance and emergency surgery.(I was just as stoic as the�woman in the above illustration while they performed�my�surgery. Eyes wide open, no tears.)

Life is so full of twists and turns!

There is nothing like having your very own chest tube � my aunt said it was my friend. And indeed it was! My little friend with a one-way valve who caused me nothing but suffering. After just two days, the doctor pulled my friend out of my chest � and again, like the woman in the illustration: I was stoic, with eyes wide open and no tears.

I’ll write a card about this as soon as my painkillers wear off.

September 10, 2014
We want to be more than just friends with: Portobello Road and Rags

Portobello Road and Rags�-> 4 Dock Street Edgartown, Martha’s Vineyard, MA

ANOTHER profile in that special series dedicated to bringing our readers biased reviews of shops that carry our goods.

Great. Now I�HAVE�to go to Martha’s Vineyard.But I’ll do it for you, reader, because I’m a giver. A GIVER.

Will residents of Martha’s Vineyard embrace Zeichen Press cards? Will they clutch them to their breast while weeping�tears of joy and relief?? WILL THEY??

Oh, Carly Simon! Let�us both�wear our overalls, place one of our feet delicately upon a fieldstone wall, and laugh and laugh while we read Zeichen Press cards that we (you) bought�from Portobello Road!

Yes, LET’S.

September 6, 2014
American Made… FINALIST!

Zeichen Press is a finalist for Martha Stewart’s American Made contest.�

YOU HEARD ME.

The Grand Prize is $10,000 and Martha legally adopting the winner. Alexis is so tired of being an only child. Remember when I told you to SHARE the�American Made�Zeichen�Press�page�on Facebook and twitter??

WHY?

BECAUSE I’M ACTIVATING MY SOCIAL NETWORK TO EARN A FINALIST SPOT!H elp!

And don’t worry, I’ll be harassing you on Sept 15th to vote for us…

Here’s the script they gave me: The judges have named me a 2014 @AmericanMadeMSL Awards finalist. Support & share my work to get involved! #celebratethemaker

September 1, 2014
American Made!

We make things!

We live in America!�

“American Made�spotlights the maker, supports the local, and celebrates the handmade. The program is made up of people and communities that have turned their passion for quality craftsmanship and well-designed goods into a way of life.”

A WAY OF LIFE.

BAM.

In order for Martha to notice Zeichen Press�(umm, she should really just ask Alexis about us)�YOU need to SHARE our American Made nomination page with all of your Facebook friends and twitter followers:

� Step one: Click this�link.

� Step two: Scroll down a teensy bit on that page.

� Step three: Click button that looks like this:(WARNING: The above image IS NOT AN ACTUAL BUTTON, MOM)

� Step four: Follow instructions.

PS: I love you.

PPS: Deadline is Friday! NO BIG DEAL.

August 27, 2014
Ode to Jen

Merry Jenmas, everyone!

MY dog must have been confused, she left birthday presents�for Jen�on my living room floor last night?�Oh, Millie…

Thomas Edison’s quote is so true: Genius is one percent inspiration and ninety-nine percent spray bleach.

August 26, 2014
Adi�s Diablo

I had a pretty big realization when I was 23. This revelation came as I was drifting off to sleep and caused me to sit straight up in bed.

CRUELLA DE VIL = CRUEL DEVIL!!!How could I have been so blind for so long?!

No matter. Here’s a card.

August 23, 2014
Oh, that old saying!

You know what I’m talking about??

Read the card out loud for full effect.

August 14, 2014