• Craftstravaganza Review/Doppelganger Evidence

    The day began with a single, tissue-wrapped banana-lovingly prepared by the May Day Cafe.

    It’s all about the details.

    From there it was a regular thrill-ride down 35W. Sometimes when Jen drives, I close my eyes and scream The Lord’s Prayer. Jen tries to shut me up by stuffing buttermilk scones in my mouth. I do a lot of praying when Jen’s around. Dear God, please help me not to crush Jen’s toes with a case full of lead type.

    The Craftstravaganza was more fun than usual. Everything is more fun with darts. We sold lots of stuff, here’s Jen practicing her smile:

    Jen!!

    After I took this photo, I backed into Pevenshire Wiffynuts.

    Mr. WiffynutsPevenshire Wiffynuts Letterpress printed on recycled paper. Comes with coordinating envelope and packaged in cellophane sleeve.Needless to say, my mind was blown. With barely a moment to recover, Two Bald Men came to our table. I fainted and hit my head. To wake me up, Jen threw a cup of hot coffee at my face. She should be a nurse.

    Two Bald MenCheer up, you could be two bald men. Letterpress printed on recycled paper. Comes with coordinating envelope and packaged in cellophane sleeve.

    May 3, 2009
  • Oh, sweet affirmation!

    Jennifer Sbranti IS the Hostess With The Mostess.

    Don't mess.

    That’s a fact. If I lived in San Diego I would crash her parties, she would be like, “WHAT?! YOU again? Take off that wig and crawl back under the gate.” She wrote a little something about Zeichen Press on her blog today. To thank her, I am writing a book entitled, 1001 Ways to thank Jennifer Sbranti.

    Is that weird?

    May 1, 2009
  • Celine Dion at the Craftstravaganza!!!

    I’m totally kidding. Wouldn’t that be awesome though? I was picturing her at Bergan’s Grocery Store this morning… standing with her microphone –  between the Rug Doctor Rentals and the helium balloons… Singing like it’s a Saturday Night in Vegas. Oh, Celine! Shopping would be a pleasure with your angelic voice wafting through the air, mingling with deli-smells – My heart would go on.

    The Craftstravaganza? Right. We will be there with 55 of our closest crafting friends. When I say, “crafting” don’t think about toilet paper cozies, kleenex box cozies, toaster cozies, and toilet brush cozies. Don’t. I’m not judging the ladies that make things cozy, I’m just wondering why everything needs to be so cozy. Okay, DO think about hand-made goods. GOODS. I’d even call them hand-made greats. See how I am? See how I roll? You know it.

    craftstravaganza09poster-download1

    Going to the State Fair Grounds off-season is like bumping into your teacher at your dentist’s office. What the hell are YOU doing here?! You’re not supposed to leave school! Your teeth aren’t real!!

    See you on Saturday my Best Beloved. Bring your wallet. And your mom.

    April 25, 2009
  • Creek-Bike & Room & Board

    The ice on the creek melted and it was time, again, for the Creek-Garbage-Opener! Our tackle box contained exactly two things: a giant hook (the Kitchen-Aid-bread-dough-attachment) and 50 feet of obsolete ethernet cable.  The catch-of-the-day was larger than usual and after  a nail-biting struggle, this was pulled  out:

    Creek-Bike

    It smells like death but it’s ours. 

    What does any of this have to do with Room & Board?

    Ugh. It’s so obvious. 

    So anyway, we gave our prints to Room and Board and we’re waiting to hear what the President & Vice President think. Personally, I don’t think they really needed to take it to that level. Obama is a busy fellow. Here are a couple things they liked:

    Big gray typeWood type

    Wanted Poster Type

    April 17, 2009
  • Must…write…more…cards………………

    There seems to be something gnawing on the chicken-bone of my subconscious. Not just gnawing, but dipping it in creamy, blu-cheese dressing and sucking on it.

    Thank goodness for the wet-nap, or whatever is doing the gnawing would contaminate the rest of my psyche. I like my non-physical parts to be separate. Like a melamine hot-lunch tray. Everything stays within it’s little-walled-area and nobody gets fussy.

    Unfortunately, or maybe not, there does seem to be some breach in the Dreaming ~ Day Dreaming compartments. Sandbagging might help. Or a thick, mashed-potato partition – the mashed potatoes finally living up to their destiny.

    Great writers are great ruminators but great ruminators are not necessarily great writers. I think that’s what I’m talking about. Or was I talking about my days in the cafeteria? Ah, the cafeteria…“Lunch Lady? Would you mind being careful to keep the gravy in its… No? Yes, you’re right. It all ends up in the same place…”  In the toilet. Which is, of course, a metaphor. That’s what happens when you give children mixed-messages.

    So, anyway. I have a growing collection of printer’s cuts and for some reason I feel compelled to give each of them something to say. I realize that the New Yorker’s Caption Contest is eerily similar to what I do. Except I always win. That’s the nice thing about owning the company. Thatand the hugs I get from complete strangers. Why do strangers hug me? They might be trying to squeeze the life out of me. I’m not sure. They tell me not to resist – I’m always like, ”Resist? Resist what? Who am I to stifle this bizarre act of love?”

    Where was I? … Right. A line I wrote for a lonely cut:

    Sorry.

    PSSST,

    are you coming to my funeral?

    April 11, 2009
  • Franimals: A-Z!!

    Should a grown woman spend the day in bed drawing animals?

    No? What if the animals are super-cute and made entirely of her favorite font? What if the woman was very ill, clinging to life by a bed-thread? What if… what if… oh, what if… oh, my bed-sores… Without further ado, Franimals:

    copyright: do you feel me??

    A-J Franimals were originally designed for Room & Board. Sadly, they were overlooked. Apparently kids today aren’t interested in “animals” or “alphabets” That’s not Room & Board’s fault. Or…is…it?

    ANYWAY, I love Room & Board. Sometimes I break into their showroom and rehearse scenes from Failure to Launch starring Mr. Matthew McConaughey.

    Matthew! Your mischievous smile… your love for Mother Earth… your shirtless-ness…

    What am I talking about? Oh, yes. My fever. It’s very high and I wouldn’t turn down a copy of Erin Brockovich and some German Spaetzel.

    April 9, 2009
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  • Pantone 801 Uncoated Period (Periodo Azul)

    Remember how I promised that when my painkillers wore off, I’d make a card based on The Lung Collapsing Event? It turns out that I only needed them for a couple of days and flushed the rest ~ DON’T GET ANY IDEAS ~ and then I made this breakup card:i love you like a collapsed lung.801

    September 28, 2014
  • #AmericanMadeMSL AND The Land of Counterpane

    Recovering from a collapsed lung is the perfect time to learn all about hashtags.

    Thank you, lung!Land of Counterpane

    I obsessively tweeted and nagged everyone on Facebook. I’M SORRY EVERYONE.

    Wait, #HelpMe.

    It’s been a trending/not-trending rollercoaster-week for Zeichen Press…trending 11screen grab trending 4screen grab trendingtrending.15YOU MUST REALLY BE SUFFERING!

    But may the best (wo)man (named Fran and Jen) win. Did I mention that you have to vote 6x every day through October 13th? And did I mention that my doctor told me that my other lung will collapse if we don’t win??american made finalist badge

    PS: I made a new Mother’s Day card…thankless job.period

    September 26, 2014
  • Voting is a Good Thing

    Running for student council vice president of my Freshman class was so stressful! Our platform was twofold:

    1) Instruct — and therefore unify — our class via a comprehensive Class Cheer: “Nine-tee! Nine-tee! Ninetyninetyninety nine-tee!!! YAYYYY!!”

    2) Oh, I guess it was only a onefold platform…

    NEEDLESS TO SAY, votes were cast, and I won. It was a real nail-biter.AboveAverage

    SPEAKING OF VOTING, you can finally start voting for Zeichen Press here!martha stewart american made logo 2

    And you can (and should!!) vote 6x per day! SIX TIMES. PER DAY.

    September 15, 2014
  • Attack of the Spontaneous Pneumothorax!

    Yikes! That sounds scary!

    Lungs are not supposed to collapse, but that’s what makes life so exciting! Sunday mornings could be all jejune French toast and bacon, OR they could be all ambulance and emergency surgery.collapsed lung discharge papers(I was just as stoic as the woman in the above illustration while they performed my surgery. Eyes wide open, no tears.)

    Life is so full of twists and turns!Fran lung collapse

    There is nothing like having your very own chest tube — my aunt said it was my friend. And indeed it was! My little friend with a one-way valve who caused me nothing but suffering. After just two days, the doctor pulled my friend out of my chest — and again, like the woman in the illustration: I was stoic, with eyes wide open and no tears.

    I’ll write a card about this as soon as my painkillers wear off.

    September 10, 2014
  • We want to be more than just friends with: Portobello Road and Rags

    Portobello Road and Rags -> 4 Dock Street Edgartown, Martha’s Vineyard, MA

    ANOTHER profile in that special series dedicated to bringing our readers biased reviews of shops that carry our goods.

    Great. Now I HAVE to go to Martha’s Vineyard.portobello road.rags signageBut I’ll do it for you, reader, because I’m a giver. A GIVER.

    Will residents of Martha’s Vineyard embrace Zeichen Press cards? Will they clutch them to their breast while weeping tears of joy and relief?? WILL THEY??carly simon

    Oh, Carly Simon! Let us both wear our overalls, place one of our feet delicately upon a fieldstone wall, and laugh and laugh while we read Zeichen Press cards that we (you) bought from Portobello Road!

    Yes, LET’S.portobello road interior inside portobello road

    September 6, 2014
  • American Made… FINALIST!

    Zeichen Press is a finalist for Martha Stewart’s American Made contest. 

    YOU HEARD ME.

    american made finalist badge

    The Grand Prize is $10,000 and Martha legally adopting the winner. Alexis is so tired of being an only child. Remember when I told you to SHARE the American Made Zeichen Press page on Facebook and twitter??

    WHY?

    BECAUSE I’M ACTIVATING MY SOCIAL NETWORK TO EARN A FINALIST SPOT!2014 wildcard bannerHelp!

    And don’t worry, I’ll be harassing you on Sept 15th to vote for us…

    Here’s the script they gave me: The judges have named me a 2014 @AmericanMadeMSL Awards finalist. Support & share my work to get involved! #celebratethemaker

    September 1, 2014
  • American Made!

    We make things!

    We live in America! 

    martha stewart american made logo“American Made spotlights the maker, supports the local, and celebrates the handmade. The program is made up of people and communities that have turned their passion for quality craftsmanship and well-designed goods into a way of life.”

    A WAY OF LIFE.

    BAM.

    In order for Martha to notice Zeichen Press (umm, she should really just ask Alexis about us) YOU need to SHARE our American Made nomination page with all of your Facebook friends and twitter followers:

    • Step one: Click this link.

    • Step two: Scroll down a teensy bit on that page.

    • Step three: Click button that looks like this:american made share buttons(WARNING: The above image IS NOT AN ACTUAL BUTTON, MOM)

    • Step four: Follow instructions.

    PS: I love you.

    PPS: Deadline is Friday! NO BIG DEAL.
    August 27, 2014
  • Ode to Jen

    Merry Jenmas, everyone!

    MY dog must have been confused, she left birthday presents for Jen on my living room floor last night? Oh, Millie…Millie-wearing-a-wig

    Thomas Edison’s quote is so true: Genius is one percent inspiration and ninety-nine percent spray bleach.dont step in the birthday present I made for you

    August 26, 2014
  • Adiós Diablo

    I had a pretty big realization when I was 23. This revelation came as I was drifting off to sleep and caused me to sit straight up in bed.

    CRUELLA DE VIL = CRUEL DEVIL!!!CRUELLA DE VILHow could I have been so blind for so long?!

    No matter. Here’s a card.going going going gone

    August 23, 2014
  • Oh, that old saying!

    You know what I’m talking about??

    Read the card out loud for full effect.the saw that woke the sherpas yak

    August 14, 2014
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