• I DO Believe!

    Our four desks were pushed together for a Thanksgiving art project; we wrapped bits of Autumn-colored tissue paper around the end of No. 2 pencils, carefully dipped the wrapped end into the puddle of Elmer’s Glue squirted onto a scrap of construction paper, and placed the florette onto the the inside of the outline of a turkey. 1…2…3… Ten seconds for each one to dry and the process to start all over again.tissue paper turkey

    What a perfect time for my 4th grade teacher to join us!

    Conversation was breezy but quickly turned to talk of Christmas presents… Boy Student, “Can you believe that I believed in Santa Clause until I was in SECOND GRADE!” Laughter from the table… Laughter fades… MY TEACHER confides in the little group, “You guys, don’t laugh — I believed in Santa Clause until I was in FOURTH GRADE!”

    Hmm, *I* believed in Santa Clause until that very moment. 🙠<–Frowny Face

    OH, BUT WHY DOES LIFE HAVE TO BE SO PEPPERED WITH DISILLUSIONMENT??

    Fast forward 33 years, DreamWorks StudiosDreamWorks logo.3

    just ordered 400 of THIS card.I want to believe-1Sooo, there’s that or whatever.

    November 18, 2014
  • WRAPPED IN BACON???

    Just imagine this:Fran school photo

    in a Witch or Hobo costume, “Trick or Treat!”

    I was never Wrapped in Bacon like these fancy L.A. kids… Our L.A. rep sent us this:kid wrapped in baconI’m assuming this little person was Trick-or-Treating… But I see no treat bag, nor do I see a 3-ring binder, NOR DO I SEE the latest issue of The Watchtower.

    True story: Since I put my NO SOLICITORS card on the front door, I have had, exactly, zero solicitors. Buy yours today!NoSolicitors

    November 11, 2014
  • Storm Windows and Firewood and New Cards

    And maybe a pregnant cat.

    Don’t say anything. JUST DON’T. Tib might have snuck out the window like some sort of wild teenager. We’ll know as soon as we catch her in the kitchen with a tub of Ben & Jerry’s.

    In other (less controversial) news from the Zeichen Press Headquarters: The new cards are all printed and in the shop! Wanna see?damn jesus.smallerand good riddance.2.smallerlisten up old manthankth.smalleryou are so gangster.smallerdont step indadditude.smallerparty animal.smallerjust remember.smallerCongratulations, you finished learning.smallerOnce upon a time.smaller

    November 5, 2014
  • Orange Is the New I’m Back

    Life is like the murky end of our lake and you’ll have to dump in a 10 lb. bag of Aquacide Pellets if your mom isn’t there to rake the weeds away.

    What is she talking about?

    Don’t act like you don’t know.

    Do you need a Congratulations-ish card?

    You do?!congratulations on your release

    October 28, 2014
  • Forward, march!

    It only took a few minutes to have a mole removed last week (my chest tube scar needed a BFF) and I texted Jen when it was done, exclaiming my relief at the speediness of the procedure.

    She told me that that was the easy part.

    That’s the way our relationship works — I get my head all full of smells of burnt flesh and joy, and Jen tethers my helium balloon to the doorknob.

    It works. IT WORKS.

    It’s time, once again, to print cards for the new release.

    Choosing a corresponding envelope color can be difficult, and when Lucy or Loretta are unavailable we use another neutral third party.Dinah and new cardSee how intense she is?

    SETTLE DOWN, DINAH.

    PS: You know we didn’t win Martha’s American Made Award competition. Stop asking.

    October 20, 2014
  • Now What?

    We find out on Friday if Martha is adopting us — I already packed my bags. I told Jen to pack hers but I don’t think she heard me as she was pealing out of the driveway with her windows rolled up. Oh, Jen!

    We (Jen) started printing the new release today, and to celebrate, Millie left Jen a present right in front of Zeichen Press HQ.shop with words 2It only seemed appropriate that this card be printed first:dont step in the birthday present I made for you

    The rest of the week (until the adoption), we (Jen) will be printing all of the new cards:once upon a time new momdaditudelisten up old manand good riddanceyou finished learningdamn. jesus punked us so goodPARTY ANIMALTHANKTH just remember.new ladies.2at leastyou are so gangster

    October 14, 2014
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  • Youth Is Wasted

    When my daughter was small (until she became a giant),lucy new closershe wrestled daily with Jungian archetypes… She was fascinated by the Actor/Storyteller… and the story of The Boy Who Cried Wolf was a favorite.

    Oh, that Boy!! She was disgusted and fascinated!youth is wasted

    August 5, 2014
  • Don’t Look Away!

    Ahh, there is nothing like a Midsummer Night’s Homebirth!

    Oh, and here’s a card. I’VE BEEN BUSY, OKAY??booty call

    August 1, 2014
  • Marinate & Ruminate & Distill & Purge

    Don’t you hate looking at photographs when you’re not in them?

    Me too!

    Oh, and I made this for my gals.

    just remember.new ladies.2

    July 22, 2014
  • Deja Vu

    We bought our house on the Cape in 1982…mom  1982 29 freezer road

    this was the same year that The Go-Go’s penned their masterpiece.

    Coincidence?? I THINK NOT.

    Summers on the Cape were filled with so much adventure! There were trees to climb, sea-creatures to discover, rocks to paint (it’s complicated), and cans to return for 5¢ — imagine returning an ENTIRE BAG of cans. Your very own money to spend on candy at the Barnstable News. I dragged a garbage bag of empty cans up Millway, past the dead bodiescemetery sideto claim my prize. I did not anticipate this being such a great windfall… The Adult behind the counter counted all of my (mostly beer) cans (thanks Uncle Gary!) and the total staggered me.

    “Two dollars and thirty-five cents.”

    I gasped.

    I walked past the wall of candy, right to the freezer full of ice cream treats. One box of six ice cream sandwiches, all for me. ALL FOR ME!!ice cream sandwichI was a girl on a mission: Eat all six, share with no one, and never breathe a word of this to any of my siblings. nat em zak fran andy 2815 west 28thI held the package to my (boyish) chest, and ran until I was sure I was alone. Across the street from the cemetery, and next to an abandoned house, I ripped open the box and started eating. 1…2…3… still going strong… 4… slowing down… 5… Five! Only FIVE! What a failure! 

    I staggered home, and benevolently offered the final sandwich to my little brother. (What a fool he was for not even questioning my backstory!)

    Present day: Southwest Airline’s Boeing 737: 40,000 feet.southwest airplane windowI made these:look at meTHANKTH

    July 13, 2014
  • July: Barnstable County

    Would a plate-smashing scene make this trip more authentic? Maybe. Oh, but here we are bored out of our minds…kids jumping off sandwich boardwalk bridgeIt’s tiresome, really! Just ocean, ocean, ocean… day in and day out.kids in wavesAnd nobody even documents my joie de vivre! Sadly, I must document myself.fran medusa hair selfie cape codJen sent me her selfie all the way from Zeichen Press Headquarters:generous regurgitation

    July 9, 2014
  • When I was down beside the sea

    A wooden spade they gave to me

    To dig the sandy shore.

    My holes were empty like a cup.

    In every hole the sea came up,

    Till it could come no more.

    ~ Robert Louis Stevenson

    Back on the Cape again…

    Aren’t the kids so sweet? They have so much fun… Wait… WHAT?! How did I miss that??Shark eats seal with kids

    June 29, 2014
  • Mystery Solved!

    With the warm weather comes mating animals and flies covering the shop windows.flies on shop windowAnd nothing else. NOTHING ELSE.

    One might ask, “I wonder why that window is so filthy?” And another might respond, “Shhh, just close your eyes while I slowly and firmly place this pillow over your face…”

    There.

    Now, onto the flies. I did all the research and learned that these are no ordinary flies. The internet told me that they are called Cluster Flies, so I vacuumed them up and made this card:Life is too short

    June 23, 2014
  • Deadbeat Cat

    I think Tib The Cat is pregnant. I could have (should have?) put a stop to the coitus, but who am I to stand in the way of true love? WHO AM I? Wait, was that really true love??tib and billy zoom outHmm… Zoom… Enhance…tib and billyGOOD LORD.

    Speaking of Father’s Day…listen up old manOh, and did this Father’s Day card ever make it on the blog? (Winky-face.)thanks for fertilizingPS: Apparently my SEO success could be better if I mention letterpress-related words IN my blog posts. Words like: tactile, vintage press, printing, ink, paper, mangled hand.

    June 15, 2014
  • Sleeping?

    Sometimes (oftentimes) I wake in the middle of the night and tap messages to myself on my iPhone.

    For example (and I quote): 

    “I just want to eat gobstoppers and take rearview mirror selfies… William Shatner in gladiator costume on 40′ stilts… A young Ben Franklin with a head full of dreams and a heart full of hate… Bromeo & Juliet… You Are Here –>brain…”

    Upon thoroughly waking, my task is to decode this nocturnal rambling.

    Sometimes I am successful.YOU ARE HERE

    June 8, 2014
  • Treading Water

    In the Spring of 1990, I packed up a carton of cigarettes, a skillet, 4 forks, a sketch pad, and some Mexican jumping beans. Graduating high school means moving into a dormitory on the campus of the college of your dreams. OR moving into an apartment above a pizza place.

    EITHER WAY, this card seems appropriate:and good riddanceSPEAKING OF APPROPRIATE, is gluten-intolerance funny?gluten free

    June 2, 2014
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