Zeichen Press – Page 14 – Design & Letterpress for the people.

Leather and Milk and Meat

Every few weeks�Paper Source�orders the same poopy cards from us.This makes us happy because there is no faster way to evangelize than through a chain of shops that snakes its way through the country.

Our message?�

Isn’t it obvious by now? Spread (our idea of) letterpress goodness and joy like spackle into every dark crevice on this planet.

No big deal.

This card:has nothing to do with fecal matter and so we were surprised (and delighted) to see it on our latest Paper Source order.

Perhaps the following dream was a premonition?:

There were no toilets�� but there was a shower scene. The light over the C&Phad become a shower head and I had become naked. I prayed that nobody would walk through (why didn’t I just lock it?) the shop door while I took my unnecessary (and might I add: gratuitous?) shower next to my printing press.

But someone�did�walk in.

I guess his name is Vincent Schiavelli. He was hiding behind the Heidelbergwith his cow. He wasn’t smiling. I woke up.

The End

August 5, 2012
We want to be more than just friends with: Yankee Ingenuity (Chatham)

Yankee Ingenuity�-> 525 Main Chatham, MA 02633

ANOTHER profile in that special series dedicated to bringing our readers biased reviews of shops that carry our goods.

I love a Main Street.

Someday, I will criss-cross this great nation in my (fictional) pick-up with my (fictional) Pocket Pomeranian and my (fictional)) beat-up Polaroid � snapping photos, capturing the quirkiness, the uniqueness, of each Main Street. These will make a great coffee-table book. A companion to my (fictional)�Public Bathrooms Across America�Book.

The Queen of Main Streets is in Chatham, Massachusetts. Cape Cod. New England’s Main Streets look like movie sets and Chatham’s Main Street is so adorable it should be wrapped in a blanket and burped.

Yankee Ingenuity�carries Zeichen Press cards, so it seemed polite to pay them a visit.(Notice my friend,�Andy. Notice his t-shirt.)

Once inside, my Attention Deficit Disorder became acute and I put on my horse blinders.

I made my way to the counter and had a nice chat with the owner � she told me that her husband (an amputee) LOVES:I bet because of the tricorn hat.

There were so many delightful treasures � here are a few that jumped out at me:

I would like a set of eight.

A shark puppet would help me work through my fears.

These little banks would help me save for my criss-crossing America road-trip.

That was fun. I mean, that was hard work.�Do I have to hate something to write it off as a business expense?

July 28, 2012
Unseasoned Traveler

There were three things needed for airplane travel with a group of (Shea) children (in the 1970’s):

1) Hubba Bubba

2) Mad Magazine

3) Air Sickness Bags

I don’t think there was ever a flight that didn’t involve one (or more) of us vomiting. Because of this, we quickly located our air-sickness bags in the front seat pockets before seat belts were even fastened.

My parents pretended they didn’t know us.

It was shameful (and a relief) to hand your vomit-filled bag to the stewardess. In those days, the airline logo was proudly emblazoned on each bag.�But no more.�Today, the bag is white! Who wants to throw-up in a white bag?

Not me.

I designed a bag that I can’t wait to get in front of the bigwigs at SunCountry. They’ll love it.

Our #1 Fan�just joined us on The Capeand I’m so glad he’s not a serial killer. He’ll be here for a few days and then we’ll have to say goodbye. I really, really hate saying goodbye. I hate it so much, I made a card:

July 20, 2012
Shaaawwwp Chedahhh

Well, here I am, back on The Cape for some Rest & Relaxation. Sharks are the big news out here

(sorry,�Andy) so I sent the kids right out into the ocean.I told them that we need to make clam chowder and clams don’t clam themselves � so get to work.

I believe the following card captures the feeling of every citizen on our planet:Why would I send that card/who would want to receive a card like that?

Um, I don’t know your friends and I’m guessing we all have at least one unabomber in our lives.

July 14, 2012
Is This Party Time?

If Zeichen Press were a train, Jen would be the rails. She keeps the train going smoothly down the track, she keeps it from careening off �� plowing into innocent townspeople. This analogy makes me the conductor � sweaty, with a cheek full of chewing tobacky and a headful of dreams.

Every Summer, Jen dumps her two boys off at Camp � she makes a thorough list.

But this year was going to be extra-special! SHE was going to dump the boys and hop on a plane for her�very own vacation.�I’m sure�her�list was thorough and her suitcase was packed perfectly. I’m sure she left nothing out and measured all liquids to meet TSA requirements.

She forgot one thing:

But this year was going to be extra-special! SHE was going to dump the boys and hop on a plane for her�very own vacation.�I’m sure�her�list was thorough and her suitcase was packed perfectly. I’m sure she left nothing out and measured all liquids to meet TSA requirements.

She forgot one thing:

July 10, 2012
iFran 1.0

Twice a year Zeichen Press releases a batch of new cards. Twice a year Jen and I hold a top-secret meeting in the Zeichen Press Headquarters and discuss which cards should be included in the release. Decisions are made, tears are shed, hair is pulled.

Printing took place this week and, luckily, the temperature hovered around 97�.�Jen loves printing in a sauna.�I stayed in the shop while she printed, it was an act of solidarity and I’m sure it did not go unnoticed. I sat on one of the metal stools because I wanted to experience what it was like to sit on a stove-top.

There are more top-secret meetings/fist-fights during the printing process. We need to decide which color paper to print the card on and (hold onto your hats) which color envelope to pair with the card.

Should it be a Green Apple envelope or a Berrylicious envelope?? These are tough decisions but we have to make them.

And don’t think that you could just do what we do, it takes nerves of steel and hearts of gold.

Here are the new cards: These are so amazing, they may melt your faces:

July 6, 2012

Seeing Spring on the Dualistic Spectrum

Farewell my Wintertime Prison… Springtime is the amnesty hors d’oeuvre and reminds all (in these Northern climates) of the duality of nature.

See the flattened squirrel on the bike path? (Why is it SO flat on a�bike�path? WHY??)And see the lilacs in full bloom? (DO YOU??!! Face-meltingly beautiful…)Hmm, people also think about baseball in the Spring? Right? How about a congratulations card for the bros?

May 27, 2014
Sympathy/Empathy Cards

(((flashback)))

My husband was on a business trip, and that meant it was time for one or more of the kids to get the stomach flu. Because we love tradition, the youngest barfed in her own bath water. While I was cleaning that up, and not to be outdone, the middle one inhaled and regurgitated his macaroni & cheese right back on the plate.

The older one slunk away.

While I was cleaning�that�up, and unbeknownst to me, the cat coughed up a slimy hair-ball. I stepped on it (barefoot).

While I stood on one foot, crying, the dog came over and licked it up.

The End

May 17, 2014
How To Catch A Fish (Sort Of)

By age nine, I would delicately,

with my right hand, fold down the sharp fins of a Sunfish.

Why?�

So I could use my left hand to insert the rusty pliars into the gasping mouth of my catch to retrieve the swallowed hook.

If I was lucky.

If I�wasn’t�lucky, I’d stare at my motionless bobber for hours.

*Some backstory: My older brother (third of eight) allowed me to fish with him if I did whatever he said, and didn’t cry. He was SERIOUS about fishing. I had glasses and greasy blonde hair.

**Some backstory about the backstory: My brother was born in September, and I was already a sprouted seed in our Mom’s belly by the next Summer.

I think I’ve used the�bobber-watching metaphor�before, but it is APT. Everyday, I wait for�my agent�to tell me to get the rusty pliars.

Why doesn’t he ever tell me to get the rusty pliars??

He just tells me to “hang in there.”Oh, back to my Mom… She has 22 grandkids. This is her with the latest:HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY!

May 9, 2014
Spring Cleansing and Fumigation

I’ve heard that we are only prescribed challenges tailored to fit our deficiencies. I don’t really have any deficiencies so I’ve just been row-row-rowing my boat, gently down the stream.

But poor Jen spent the week hunting for bedbugs (that’s what she gets for�going to Turkey) that turned out to be fleas.�

It took six flea-bombs and one hijab to properly fumigate.Doesn’t Henry look ashamed?

Doesn’t Jen’s forehead look youthful?? I photoshop-botoxed it! AND saved her $200.

She’ll thank me later.

While she was busy meeting her prescribed challenge (I pray that she learned her lesson),�*I*�was busy nobly accepting rejections for The Book.Eight rejections so far… twelve still unresponsive. But don’t worry about me, I LOVE waiting, and see rejection as an opportunity to grow as a person.

SPEAKING OF MOTHER’S DAY, here’s a new card:

May 3, 2014
Rage-Filled Kitten Eats Dead Master’s Face

Is that a true story??They wouldn’t print it if it wasn’t true.

Sally Struthers says that for about four dollars, you can buy a Starbucks Caff� Latte Venti… In the�Zeichen Press Shop, for just four dollars a day, you can bring laughter to someone who may or may not have been laughing.�

The choice is yours.

NOW, visit the shop to see our new release for Spring! You can buy the rage-filled kitten, the generous old woman,

my kind of tea party,

and so much more!

April 27, 2014
Farewell, Old Cards

Jen made me pull six cards from our line.

APPARENTLY, “they don’t sell” and don’t “make any money”.

But since when can you put a price tag�on greeting cards??

Here are the cards, you can buy them from�the shop�until they are gone forever.

FOREVER.This card was also on the list, but I refused to pull it because I’m not afraid of her.

April 18, 2014
The Answer to Life the Universe and Everything

I turned 42 (wtf?) yesterday, received 18 drinking glasses, a scallop taco from�Sea Salt, and this:BUT MOST IMPORTANTLY, I sent 20 little book samples to�my agent…So now he can go pitch them to 20 publishers.

I imagine his conversations go something like this:

Peter: Here’s a new little adult picture book by Fran Shea, owner of Zeichen Press in Minneapolis, maker of cards for people that like laughing.

Publisher Person: Let me put my eyeballs back in my sockets and write you a check for $1,000,000.

Peter: Very good.

END SCENE.

Oh, I also made a new Easter card. Don’t send me hate email like you did for my zombie Easter card. Jesus loves me, this I know for the bible tells me so.

April 13, 2014
Behind the Gate AND a New Book Title

Jen’s back!

Thank God.

She said she “missed ZP soooo much!”

ZP missed her too! To show her just how much, this rabbit (mascot) sacrificed and froze himself to the ground�right in front�of the gate she walks through to enter the ZP Headquarters.ALSO, I wrote/designed a new cover for my book… Kara is busily drawing pictures while I bark directions at her. I’m sure she’s already made a voodoo doll of me.

I don’t blame her a bit.

April 1, 2014
Martyr Memo

No, no… don’t worry about me � I’m fine! I actually enjoy�imagining�exotic travel. Who needs all of that packing and jet-lag… and those language barriers?… No thanks!

Jen is (still) in Turkey

(is she ever coming home??) and I am here.

See how I put my feet in the picture so that you can tell that I’m REALLY here?

My daydreams are broken only by Tib the Cat.And the other inmates’ bickering.

But shouldn’t I embrace this opportunity during Lent for self-denial?

FINE.

March 27, 2014
Are with mosque and minaret

Jen is in Istanbul�(was Constantinople, now it’s Istanbul, not Constantinople)and I discuss cannibalism after a family dinner. “Apparently,” says Number One Son, “human meat tastes just like bison.”

And so on.

If this Winter ever ends (will it?? Did I just imagine warmer days??), students will graduate and I made a card for such an occasion:

March 24, 2014