Zeichen Press – Page 14 – Design & Letterpress for the people.

Canada: You’re strange and wonderful.

So, I (meaning the Zeichen Press intern) pulled one of everything (x3) for our new Canadian reps

while I sat on the cold concrete floor and worried.�Andrea is learning so much from me.

Our new reps will be taking our goods to the the�CGTA�and from there I guess back to their ice palace. Canada is so different than America!

I found�a short list of shops�in Toronto that I imagine will soon be carrying some letterpress from Minnesota… but that’s for the reps to decide. I’m not some kind of control freak.

July 18, 2010
Sweat Shop

The shop has been a very sultry 90� for the past couple of days – which makes for nearly nude printing. The latest Room & Board project is half done and it’s looking frantastic – the ink loves the heat and lays down like a whipped dog – I also love the heat and yet I stand. And stand. I’d like to thank cold-press coffee from�Sisters’ Sludge�for helping me to keep it real.

July 15, 2010
Tortured (commercial) Artist

I need to get into character for the big Room and Board project… “WHAT’S MY MOTIVATION??!”

Backstory:

In a post-apocalyptic world, one breathtakingly beautiful woman finds herself wandering through the residential remains of South Minneapolis. She stumbles upon a letterpress print shop – it is impossibly intact. She drags her shopping cart of possessions inside and studies her surroundings. Type, ink, paper, a giant wrench and an autographed photograph of Kelly Clarkson. This is exactly like her dream – except without Abraham Lincoln. There isn’t much time before the�feral cats�find her… �But she finally has a method to preserve the dying language – at last! At long last…�

Whew! That was intense! Okay, enough screwing around – the clock is ticking and the cats are coming.

July 13, 2010
My New Computer

I lived in Uptown when Chino Latino was Annie’s Parlor and the threat of a good bus-stop knifing made my morning commute thrilling.

Alas, that Uptown is no more.

The filthy (come ON! You�know�it was filthy!!) Uptown Bar has been replaced by a giant, sparkly�Apple Store�and�the smelly Uptown Bar bouncer has been replaced with fresh-faced (sober) computer geeks. Did I shed a tear during the demolition of this�Minneapolis Institution?

No. I did not. Don’t send me hate mail.�

I loved the Uptown Bar – when I was 21. I also loved smoking a pack of cigarettes every day and getting my furniture from the Salvation Army.

I love the new Apple Store – all brushed metal and snowy white… Perfectly climate controlled, smelling of new electronics, buzzing with energy… A 30 foot-tall-wall of tempered glass keeps the noise and heat of Hennepin Avenue out and the Apple-Zen in. Machines are tethered to maple tables so they won’t float away and maybe to prevent shoplifting.

I bought one of those machines – my old machine was jealous but it was time for it to be replaced. Laptops shouldn’t cause 1st degree burns on a lap.�I know I’ve made some very poor decisions recently, but I can give you my complete assurance that my work will be back to normal. I’ve still got the greatest enthusiasm and confidence in the mission. And I want to help you.

What?! I know. My new computer would never say something like that.

July 6, 2010
Seriously??!

I’ve heard that some people use their kitchen table FOR EATING.

The squirrel came back again – this time looking for Fig Newtons.

Maybe if people (me) remember to shut the back door she wouldn’t think I was inviting her in for lunch. After I waved goodbye (screamed hysterically and jumped up on a chair) I had time to use the table for other things. : Project photographs for the new website!

I am tempted to leave my door open to see what other wildlife will enter my kitchen.

June 30, 2010
PR for Tanek, a pregnant cat and a squirrel in my kitchen

Something weird(er) is going on around here. First, we witnessed a large orange cat date-raping our little Siamese (cat) – and THEN there was a squirrel sitting at my kitchen table eating an avocado.

LATER, I drove myself (I did!) to the edge of downtown for a stand-up meeting with the managing editor for Minnesota Business* and the guys from�Tanek�and�Touchpoint. The meeting was in Touchpoint’s new (unfinished) space – which happens to be in�the building�that I imagine owning. So that’s a weird coincidence.

*The Managing Editor for Minnesota Business can be found�here:

June 24, 2010

Seeing Spring on the Dualistic Spectrum

Farewell my Wintertime Prison… Springtime is the amnesty hors d’oeuvre and reminds all (in these Northern climates) of the duality of nature.

See the flattened squirrel on the bike path? (Why is it SO flat on a�bike�path? WHY??)And see the lilacs in full bloom? (DO YOU??!! Face-meltingly beautiful…)Hmm, people also think about baseball in the Spring? Right? How about a congratulations card for the bros?

May 27, 2014
Sympathy/Empathy Cards

(((flashback)))

My husband was on a business trip, and that meant it was time for one or more of the kids to get the stomach flu. Because we love tradition, the youngest barfed in her own bath water. While I was cleaning that up, and not to be outdone, the middle one inhaled and regurgitated his macaroni & cheese right back on the plate.

The older one slunk away.

While I was cleaning�that�up, and unbeknownst to me, the cat coughed up a slimy hair-ball. I stepped on it (barefoot).

While I stood on one foot, crying, the dog came over and licked it up.

The End

May 17, 2014
How To Catch A Fish (Sort Of)

By age nine, I would delicately,

with my right hand, fold down the sharp fins of a Sunfish.

Why?�

So I could use my left hand to insert the rusty pliars into the gasping mouth of my catch to retrieve the swallowed hook.

If I was lucky.

If I�wasn’t�lucky, I’d stare at my motionless bobber for hours.

*Some backstory: My older brother (third of eight) allowed me to fish with him if I did whatever he said, and didn’t cry. He was SERIOUS about fishing. I had glasses and greasy blonde hair.

**Some backstory about the backstory: My brother was born in September, and I was already a sprouted seed in our Mom’s belly by the next Summer.

I think I’ve used the�bobber-watching metaphor�before, but it is APT. Everyday, I wait for�my agent�to tell me to get the rusty pliars.

Why doesn’t he ever tell me to get the rusty pliars??

He just tells me to “hang in there.”Oh, back to my Mom… She has 22 grandkids. This is her with the latest:HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY!

May 9, 2014
Spring Cleansing and Fumigation

I’ve heard that we are only prescribed challenges tailored to fit our deficiencies. I don’t really have any deficiencies so I’ve just been row-row-rowing my boat, gently down the stream.

But poor Jen spent the week hunting for bedbugs (that’s what she gets for�going to Turkey) that turned out to be fleas.�

It took six flea-bombs and one hijab to properly fumigate.Doesn’t Henry look ashamed?

Doesn’t Jen’s forehead look youthful?? I photoshop-botoxed it! AND saved her $200.

She’ll thank me later.

While she was busy meeting her prescribed challenge (I pray that she learned her lesson),�*I*�was busy nobly accepting rejections for The Book.Eight rejections so far… twelve still unresponsive. But don’t worry about me, I LOVE waiting, and see rejection as an opportunity to grow as a person.

SPEAKING OF MOTHER’S DAY, here’s a new card:

May 3, 2014
Rage-Filled Kitten Eats Dead Master’s Face

Is that a true story??They wouldn’t print it if it wasn’t true.

Sally Struthers says that for about four dollars, you can buy a Starbucks Caff� Latte Venti… In the�Zeichen Press Shop, for just four dollars a day, you can bring laughter to someone who may or may not have been laughing.�

The choice is yours.

NOW, visit the shop to see our new release for Spring! You can buy the rage-filled kitten, the generous old woman,

my kind of tea party,

and so much more!

April 27, 2014
Farewell, Old Cards

Jen made me pull six cards from our line.

APPARENTLY, “they don’t sell” and don’t “make any money”.

But since when can you put a price tag�on greeting cards??

Here are the cards, you can buy them from�the shop�until they are gone forever.

FOREVER.This card was also on the list, but I refused to pull it because I’m not afraid of her.

April 18, 2014
The Answer to Life the Universe and Everything

I turned 42 (wtf?) yesterday, received 18 drinking glasses, a scallop taco from�Sea Salt, and this:BUT MOST IMPORTANTLY, I sent 20 little book samples to�my agent…So now he can go pitch them to 20 publishers.

I imagine his conversations go something like this:

Peter: Here’s a new little adult picture book by Fran Shea, owner of Zeichen Press in Minneapolis, maker of cards for people that like laughing.

Publisher Person: Let me put my eyeballs back in my sockets and write you a check for $1,000,000.

Peter: Very good.

END SCENE.

Oh, I also made a new Easter card. Don’t send me hate email like you did for my zombie Easter card. Jesus loves me, this I know for the bible tells me so.

April 13, 2014
Behind the Gate AND a New Book Title

Jen’s back!

Thank God.

She said she “missed ZP soooo much!”

ZP missed her too! To show her just how much, this rabbit (mascot) sacrificed and froze himself to the ground�right in front�of the gate she walks through to enter the ZP Headquarters.ALSO, I wrote/designed a new cover for my book… Kara is busily drawing pictures while I bark directions at her. I’m sure she’s already made a voodoo doll of me.

I don’t blame her a bit.

April 1, 2014
Martyr Memo

No, no… don’t worry about me � I’m fine! I actually enjoy�imagining�exotic travel. Who needs all of that packing and jet-lag… and those language barriers?… No thanks!

Jen is (still) in Turkey

(is she ever coming home??) and I am here.

See how I put my feet in the picture so that you can tell that I’m REALLY here?

My daydreams are broken only by Tib the Cat.And the other inmates’ bickering.

But shouldn’t I embrace this opportunity during Lent for self-denial?

FINE.

March 27, 2014
Are with mosque and minaret

Jen is in Istanbul�(was Constantinople, now it’s Istanbul, not Constantinople)and I discuss cannibalism after a family dinner. “Apparently,” says Number One Son, “human meat tastes just like bison.”

And so on.

If this Winter ever ends (will it?? Did I just imagine warmer days??), students will graduate and I made a card for such an occasion:

March 24, 2014