Zeichen Press – Page 15 – Design & Letterpress for the people.

I won’t even speak of the weather BECAUSE IT’S UNSPEAKABLE.

You can’t break me,�Weather.

You’ll never break me.

Everyone knows that the only cure for the cold is wood type. And alcohol.� western wood type case

Jen and I have been having a debate about the next birthday card. And by debate, I mean she is, like, “I don’t care.” Doesn’t she know the dangers of�Not Caring??

ANYWAY, here’s the card. BTW, that’s a vulture, waiting for you to die.

look good for your age.new size

Childhood/Parenthood

Growing up one block South of Lake Calhoun in the 1970’s meant two things:

1) Over-charging for watered-down Kool-Aid on the boulevard

2) Wearing a neighbor’s pilly-bottomed blue leotard for a swimsuit Heefners&Steph&Fran&Andy Like little ducklings, we’d follow�my mom down the block for a day at Thomas Beach; she’d stand ankle-deep in the water, hands on hips, plotting. And staring at the only skyscraper in the Minneapolis skyline. parenthood.like a hangover

Adventures In Letterpress!

When I was 18 years old, a friend and I drove her crappy car to the Superior National Forest for an event. I didn’t have my driver’s license so I only drove half way. The event was called�The Rainbow Gathering�and was full of fascinating (high and naked) people.� rainbow_gathering_trader_circle Highlights of the trip: Sitting in a tent all night with a group of strangers and not getting raped. And I think some other things happened but I’m not sure if they were real.

Aren’t subcultures fascinating??

Brandon Mise studied Letterpress Printers Around The World and made a book:�Adventures In Letterpress:AND he put a Zeichen Press project in it! It was that 4-color halftone/impossible feat of letterpress printing that we made for the�Tanek�Christmas card one year:Remember that? Little Nat and Ken sitting on scary Santa’s lap??�Did that event really happen??�Shhhhhhh, don’t speak or everyone will know how simple-minded you are.

I’ve Done All The Things

I’ve had 120 fires, watched everything (worth watching) on Netflix, eaten BONE-BROTH soup (like a caveman), changed my Smartwool socks 4 times…

Oh, and WROTE A BOOK.

Here’s the new cover with working title. (Isn’t that what people say??) get-back-in-that-house-vers-2

But I always try to find the deeper meaning behind hardship, and 45 sub-zero days equals hardship. AM I RIGHT??

Maybe I’m supposed to let the Winter inspire more cards?

SO NEEDY

Sheila and Franz Ferdinand�begged me to write a Zeichen Press card about their love because they’ve been together for over five years. I thought for sure she would have left him when his hair-plugs were rejected by his fussy scalp, but the toup�e looked so lifelike! cold-lifeless-heart-2 You still have time to�order a card for Valentine’s Day!�Or two, if you are having an affair.

Mini-Ice Age

That’s right! Scientists have analyzed data and�determined that it’s extra cold.

Now I feel even less bad for never leaving my beanbag nest with fireplace view.I gave up working-out and have adopted a restorative yoga practice. This particular pose is called Corpse. fran-corpse-pose Note the Winter coat. My character froze to death on the prairie.

ANYWAY. I can act like this now because I’m an eccentric writer with A LITERARY AGENT.

28 pages down, 12 to go…

Voodoo Doll

I started getting�acupuncture�this week acupuncture-words because my qi [chee] is obviously messed up. And, everyone knows, it is impossible to write a book with messed-up qi [chee].

A BOOK?!

I’m writing A BOOK!! Remember??

It’s one of the four things I talk about, so it should be easy to remember.

But, what are the other three?

1) Bacon

2) Rat-kingsAnd 3) My new nephew baby-trojack Here’s a card that explains everything: chickens-are-anxious Right??

Out of the depths I have cried to Thee

Two important things happened this week:

1) It was so cold that I never left the house. weather-grab IT FELT LIKE -49�.

OKAY, cover your ears:�THAT’S BULLSHIT.

All I could possibly do is sit in front of the fire with my companion, Tib The Cat. tib-and-fire Oh, yeah, and here’s number

2) I GOT A LITERARY AGENT.

You heard me.

The Steinberg Agency�� they rep people like Tim Gunn and Cris Carter. NO BIG DEAL.

They want a 40-page picture book for adults…

*I*�like pictures.

*I*�am an adult.

I can make that book.

Here’s a teaser/the cover OF MY BOOK. how-to-cover-new-names

With An Awl And Some Brandy

I heard a story about a Minnesota fur trader.�

Tromping through the snow in seasonably cold weather, sans Northface�winter gear and, more importantly, SANS Smartwool socks � he found his feet to be frozen solid.�Frozen like a forgotten chuck roast buried under the pile of pizzas and popsicles.

What did he do?

Simply dragged his body through the snow until warmish accommodations were reached, asked the hardy men in the room for an awl,�punctured his feet, and had those same hardy men pour brandy over his numb tootsies.

There. Feet saved.

I didn’t write a card about that. (I’m sure I will.) Here’s something more lighthearted: when-i-grow-up curling-team

The Ruminator (2013 edition)

2013 was a doozy!

I daydreamed with such�intensity!

Such intent!

Such fervor! photoshop-grab-2 And I can’t speak for Jen (just kidding, I will. Right now.) but I’m pretty sure she has been�on pins and needles JUST WAITING for cards from me in her inbox.�(Between the printing, billing, and shipping.)

I also can’t speak for�The First Intern, and now�The Virtual Intern, but I will say that their lol’s have fueled my asbestos-covered furnace.

So, as I sit here, wearing layers of long underwear, under an Indian blanket (soaked in smallpox), staring out the window… I am beyond grateful for the ladies that make Zeichen�Press more than just a daydream.

And now I’m all choked up!

But enough of that! dear-snow i-do-say

A SPECIAL DAY

Keep On The Sunny Side

Vultures and Wood Type and Birthdays

Merry Franmas!

Garbage Uncovered In the Backyard and Other Signs of Spring