• If your parents REALLY loved you

    they would have me design a super sweet invitation for an important event in your life. IF they REALLY loved you they would call me on the phone and say, “Hey, Fran! My name is Mr. Blee-Blah-Blah! I would like to demonstrate my love for my child by paying you to artistically interpret an upcoming event.  Your design savoir faire is the ONLY match for the depth of love I have for my child. They have a (insert important event) coming up. Let’s do this.” 

    CLICK.

    I’m just saying.

    We created the following Bat Mitzvah invitation for a family that clearly knows how to express their love:

    Testify!

    March 31, 2009
  • Room & Board & Me & Jen & Kangaroo Meat

    Ding! Round two!

    Meeting with Room & Board this afternoon. If all goes according to my master-plan* R&B will bite the inside of their cheeks to stifle their sobs of awe when I reveal The Prints. To diffuse the awesome aura, I will hand out sunglasses. Personally, I think inked antique type is as delicious as kangaroo meat from First Course.

    YES. kangaroo meat. 

    Round one for Room & Board ended up being a creative exercise – I know, I know. My Reward Will Be In Heaven. I produced some cutey cutes for Children’s Rooms. I dug down deep into that soft part of my heart – it was under a layer of small pebbles – and found these: I call them Franimals:

    franimals

    *master-plan: do not get lost driving to Room & Board HQ.

    March 26, 2009
  • fancy-talk

    Dahhhhhhhhhhhhhling!

    You simply must see the latest thing! Diamonds are so last week and pearls are so last century. Resin and metal is H-O-T! I hate to muddle-up the Natural Order of the Universe (no, I don’t) but we simply couldn’t say no to Ampersand Designs suggestion of collaboration!

    We already sat side-by-side in the Oscar Luncheon gift bags – and – although opening the gift bags caused a face-melting scene ala Raiders of the Lost Ark, we decided to combine our chocolate with their peanut butter for a super-sweet fashion-statement.

    Buy one or ten today!

    DO NOT EAT THIS.

    March 18, 2009
  • I ? NE + Downtown + Scott Parkin + Stephen Lynch + Rod Cone + David Josefsberg

    Dear Diary,

    Last night was ever so much fun! I went to a party and got a lock of everyone’s hair for my scrapbook. My art was hot glue-gunned to the wall by Jen.

    Jen at work - note the ever-present bottle of beer that is always within arms reach of her arm.

    Oh, Jen… will she ever settle down? She wore a short little dress and MOTORCYCLE BOOTS!! She’s trouble. See her little tiny head?:

    I see you, Jen!

    The young man that sold me my dress failed to tell me that it also doubled as a shirt.

    I blame him for the indecent length.

    Before wine.

    I also blame him for climate change, hiccoughs, Christopher Reeve’s “accident”, and my parents break-up.

    ~

    There were so many tasty bits about that party. Jocelyn’s food and drink was dee. lish.us.

     Scott Parkin‘s street-level office was cooler (and cleaner) than anything I will ever own.

    Maybe that’s why he asked me to stand by the door.

    And sit in a highchair.

    Studio on Fire displayed their goodness on the West Wall. And by that I mean, Ben Levitz stood nude on a chair in front of the West Wall. It wasn’t the least bit uncomfortable. Something about the beard made him seem fully dressed.

    Part II of the evening was jam-packed full of comedy. Stephen Lynch was gracious enough to give us front row seats to his show. Um, I don’t think I’ve laughed this hard since he came to town last year. AND did you know that The Hilton grills up Steak Bites for hungry travelers after midnight? Well, they do. We ate them and laughed at Rod Cone.

    Rod Cone posing so pretty at the Hilton

    Or was it the other way around?

    BUT there was one thing we all could agree on: It would be better to lose an arm than have your face chewed off by a chimp.

    AND never wrestle a Praying Mantis. 

    Ready, Wrestle!

    Oh, and somehow during the course of the evening, this happened:

    Me with two purses - on stage at the State Theater

    Oh, Diary… what will tomorrow bring?!

    March 14, 2009
  • You crazy kids and your YouTube!

    I know everyone is DYING to see me operating my big-ass press.

    Will wonders never cease? I love you, Internet.

    March 14, 2009
  • COME-N-GIT YER LETTERPRESS

    Shu-OOT!! It’s a letterpress extravatacularasm!! This Freitag is gonna be all monster-truck-jam but with no trucks, no face-tattoos, and no NASCAR jackets. WHAT?! How can THAT be any fun?! Don’t tell Scott Parkin but I’m planning to ride in through the double doors and right over his conference table on my pimped-out ATV. It’s gonna kick so much ass. 

    So, it’ll be ME, JEN, MR. BEN LEVITZ … and I’m sure he’s got some sort of gun-toting design gang. I’ll be wearing a full Kevlar dress, so I’m not even worried. The thing about Kevlar is that it’s light and airy. Just like me.

    So, pack your saddle-bags with hard-tack and whiskey, shave your legs, and kiss yer ma’ goodbye – you’re goin to Northeast Minneapolis. Oh, Northeast Minneapolis… so… artsy, so… much… like… Uptown… wishes… it… were… still…

    ::The Dirty Details::

    March 10, 2009
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  • Adventures In Letterpress!

    When I was 18 years old, a friend and I drove her crappy car to the Superior National Forest for an event. I didn’t have my driver’s license so I only drove half way. The event was called The Rainbow Gathering and was full of fascinating (high and naked) people. rainbow_gathering_trader_circleHighlights of the trip: Sitting in a tent all night with a group of strangers and not getting raped. And I think some other things happened but I’m not sure if they were real.

    Aren’t subcultures fascinating??

    Brandon Mise studied Letterpress Printers Around The World and made a book: Adventures In Letterpress:adventures-in-letterpress-coverAND he put a Zeichen Press project in it! It was that 4-color halftone/impossible feat of letterpress printing that we made for the Tanek Christmas card one year:adventures-in-letterpress-zeichen-pressRemember that? Little Nat and Ken sitting on scary Santa’s lap?? Did that event really happen?? Shhhhhhh, don’t speak or everyone will know how simple-minded you are.

    March 17, 2014
  • Website Hijacked By Syrians

    It’s true!

    Our site was down for most of the week and the pirates wouldn’t restore it until serious demands were met. Jen had to “marry” the pirates and I had to write more birthday cards for our Spring Release.nobody-else-got-me-one-of-thesecome-on-obligatory-phone

    March 8, 2014
  • I’ve Done All The Things

    I’ve had 120 fires, watched everything (worth watching) on Netflix, eaten BONE-BROTH soup (like a caveman), changed my Smartwool socks 4 times…

    Oh, and WROTE A BOOK.

    Here’s the new cover with working title. (Isn’t that what people say??)get-back-in-that-house-vers-2

    But I always try to find the deeper meaning behind hardship, and 45 sub-zero days equals hardship. AM I RIGHT??

    Maybe I’m supposed to let the Winter inspire more cards?words-that-rhyme-with-cold

    February 26, 2014
  • SO NEEDY

    Sheila and Franz Ferdinand begged me to write a Zeichen Press card about their love because they’ve been together for over five years. I thought for sure she would have left him when his hair-plugs were rejected by his fussy scalp, but the toupée looked so lifelike!cold-lifeless-heart-2You still have time to order a card for Valentine’s Day! Or two, if you are having an affair.

    February 4, 2014
  • Mini-Ice Age

    That’s right! Scientists have analyzed data and determined that it’s extra cold.

    Now I feel even less bad for never leaving my beanbag nest with fireplace view.fireplaceI gave up working-out and have adopted a restorative yoga practice. This particular pose is called Corpse.fran-corpse-poseNote the Winter coat. My character froze to death on the prairie.

    ANYWAY. I can act like this now because I’m an eccentric writer with A LITERARY AGENT.

    28 pages down, 12 to go…

    January 26, 2014
  • Voodoo Doll

    I started getting acupuncture this weekacupuncture-wordsbecause my qi [chee] is obviously messed up. And, everyone knows, it is impossible to write a book with messed-up qi [chee].

    A BOOK?!

    I’m writing A BOOK!! Remember??

    It’s one of the four things I talk about, so it should be easy to remember.

    But, what are the other three?

    1) Bacon

    2) Rat-kingsrat-kingAnd 3) My new nephewbaby-trojackHere’s a card that explains everything:chickens-are-anxiousRight??

    January 17, 2014
  • Out of the depths I have cried to Thee

    Two important things happened this week:

    1) It was so cold that I never left the house.weather-grabIT FELT LIKE -49°.

    OKAY, cover your ears: THAT’S BULLSHIT.

    All I could possibly do is sit in front of the fire with my companion, Tib The Cat.tib-and-fireOh, yeah, and here’s number

    2) I GOT A LITERARY AGENT.

    You heard me.

    The Steinberg Agency — they rep people like Tim Gunn and Cris Carter. NO BIG DEAL.

    They want a 40-page picture book for adults…

    *I* like pictures.

    *I* am an adult.

    I can make that book.

    Here’s a teaser/the cover OF MY BOOK.how-to-cover-new-names

    January 10, 2014
  • With An Awl And Some Brandy

    I heard a story about a Minnesota fur trader. 

    Tromping through the snow in seasonably cold weather, sans Northface winter gear and, more importantly, SANS Smartwool socks — he found his feet to be frozen solid. Frozen like a forgotten chuck roast buried under the pile of pizzas and popsicles.

    What did he do?

    Simply dragged his body through the snow until warmish accommodations were reached, asked the hardy men in the room for an awl, punctured his feet, and had those same hardy men pour brandy over his numb tootsies.

    There. Feet saved.

    I didn’t write a card about that. (I’m sure I will.) Here’s something more lighthearted:when-i-grow-up curling-team

    January 4, 2014
  • The Ruminator (2013 edition)

    2013 was a doozy!

    I daydreamed with such intensity!

    Such intent!

    Such fervor!photoshop-grab-2And I can’t speak for Jen (just kidding, I will. Right now.) but I’m pretty sure she has been on pins and needles JUST WAITING for cards from me in her inbox. (Between the printing, billing, and shipping.)

    I also can’t speak for The First Intern, and now The Virtual Intern, but I will say that their lol’s have fueled my asbestos-covered furnace.

    So, as I sit here, wearing layers of long underwear, under an Indian blanket (soaked in smallpox), staring out the window… I am beyond grateful for the ladies that make Zeichen Press more than just a daydream.

    And now I’m all choked up!

    But enough of that!dear-snowi-do-say

    December 31, 2013
  • Alright, Fun’s Over

    Christmas is SO two days ago and that leaves me wondering what to do with the rest of winter.

    Should I:

    A) Take up a winter sport, like: crying? Or swearing? Or punching the air?

    B) Write/design cards about this wonder-filled season.

    I choose both!better-to-give

    December 27, 2013
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