• The Perfect Time

    Thanks to buzzfeed quizzes, examining my conscience is so much easier. And shouldn’t we all ask ourselves those tough questions this time of year? ”If I were a pizza, what kind would I be?” Or, “Do I prefer Miley Cyrus from her Hanna Montana days or on a Wrecking Ball?” 

    But what is a life if it’s not examined? Not picked apart? Not squeezed like an engorged tick in a ziplock baggie?

    tick

    I make cards between all of this productive introspection. Sometimes fictional creatures are harmed. Sometimes, they are spared.*getting oldMerry Christmas Eve-Eve!

    December 23, 2014
  • Out With the Old

    I designed the Tanek website some dog years ago — it’s time for something fresh and tasty.

    Landing page = done.tanek. index page.harvestor grabMore to come…

    December 22, 2014
  • Christmas Future

    My agent wants a second book, he assures me that he’ll sell this one. He better, because I bought a $95 rug from Target. We’re not all fancy New Yorkers, Peter. WE’RE NOT.

    So, it looks like this Winter will look just like last Winter… Except, I had the kids drag the trunk down from the attic for a coffee table.Dinah drinks from a glassOh, the cats? Never mind those. This place is crawling with them.christmas tree 2014*BETTER DAYS AHEADFine, here’s this year’s Christmas tree.

    December 12, 2014
  • Tomorrow’s Forecast: 100% Chance of Shopping

    Where can a person do all of their Christmas (AND CHANUKAH) shopping??

    Amazon? 

    Shut your mouth.

    Let me be more specific. LET ME.

    Where can a person do all of their Christmas (AND CHANUKAH) shopping for amazing hand-made gifts while laughing with friends and/or family, eating ethnically diverse foods, AND SEE FRAN AND JEN??

    THE NO COAST CRAFT-O-RAMA!!no coast banner 2014
    Omg… that’s TOMORROW! Oh, THAT’S what Jen has been talking about! And THAT’S what these boxes are for!boxes for no coast 2014

    more boxes for no coast show 2014See you there!

    XO!

    December 4, 2014
  • HAPPY THANKSGIVING

    Much to be thankful for this year… Jen and I have FOUR working lungs, DreamWorks Studios loves us, AND (fingers crossed) Tib is pregnant again. Norman Rockwell Thanksgiving.jen and fran

    November 27, 2014
  • Big Dreams

    Last night, I dreamt I took a day trip to Manitoba. Just an afternoon of pool-swimming at an area motel. I came home and bragged to everyone, “I went to Manitohhhba today.”manitobaTwo observations:

    1) No wall-less public toilet in this dream?? That’s right. Who’s in charge now, Dreams??

    2) My dreams have finally taken me to Canada…

    AND ANOTHER THING: Winter came completely out of nowhere this year. One week it was 71°, and the next week, I had to break out the Smartwool. “Oh, Minnesota! You are so crazy! Potholes and moquitoes and icehouses!”

    Shut up.she was SO picking truth next time.

    November 25, 2014
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  • Merry Christmas!

    As is custom in our culture, piñatas will be stuffed with liver sausage!pinatas

    December 24, 2013
  • Blog Post Meridiem

    Nighttime is just like daytime but with fewer socks and more Professor Blastoff.

    Who is Professor Blastoff??professor-blastoff-poster

    Professor Blastoff is a podcast/my gateway to dreamland. Not because it’s boring! Shut your pretty mouth. But because these three comedians lull me me to sleep with their soothing silliness. How can silliness be soothing?? Just listen to it and quit judging me.

    Speaking of professors, a(n) (assistant) professor (Alicia Erian) at Northeastern University (Department of English and Tomfoolery) took such a shine to Zeichen Press that she is our new (virtual) intern! Responsibilities include (but aren’t limited to): Telling me how awesome I am.

    She didn’t love this next card but I still love her.marriage-is-2

    December 17, 2013
  • How two women spun straw into gold at the No Coast Craft-o-Rama

    In this story, the ‘straw’ is paper-and-ink and the ‘gold’ is a cash box full of cash.

    If only mortgage companies and grocery stores accepted hugs and back rubs in exchange for their products and services! Alas, they do not, and so we are forced to peddle our wares. no-coast-2013Normally, shops around the WORLD (that’s right) peddle our goods for us, but once a year, we come out of hiding, and on horseback, to peddle our own goods at the beloved No Coast Craft-o-Rama.

    Is it because we love laughter and the spirit of the Holiday Season? Or is it because we love money?

    Oh, the reformed Scrooge inside of me says it’s not about the money. IT’S NOT.money-doesnt-buy-happiness

    December 10, 2013
  • See You There!

    Where?

    AT THE MIDTOWN GLOBAL MARKET FOR THE NO COAST CRAFT-O-RAMA!!

    Directions:

    1) Put on all of your clothes and coats.

    2) Hitch sled-dogs to sled.

    3) MUSH!!

    sled-dogs

    4) Do ALL of your Holiday shopping. And eating.

    Is there a better way to embrace the Holiday season??

    NO.must-enjoy-winter

    December 6, 2013
  • Halls (Of The Midtown Global Market) Will Be Decked With Such Goodness

    There is always SO MUCH TO DO this time of year! Jen has to print and fold about a million cards and I have to sit still so my daughter can do my nails.panda-nails-2Yes, those are adorable pandas. And yes, that is stigmata.

    The No Coast Craft-o-Rama has an amazing line up this year (as usual), there is Miss Amy Jo, Adam Turman, glass|wares, Cosmo’s Collars, Moss Love Terrariums, Oh Dier, Soup Hunter Guitars, and… so… much… MORE!!

    SO, bring your money and your eyeballs and get ready to check everyone off your Christmas list! AND send a belated Chanukah card (is that a thing??)funky-beat-30-f8

    December 3, 2013
  • Eight Days of Thanksgiving

    Postable asked me to create a card that celebrates a very rare occurrence: Thanksgiving and Hanukkah falling on the same day. I don’t know much about the Jewish Faith but I think that means eight days of leftovers.happy-thanksgivukkahThis mash-up won’t happen again for another 77,000 years.

    It’s true.

    In other news… Jen and I will celebrate Thanksgiving the way we always do: in period costume. Twist: Jen will be dunked in the dunking chair until she confesses to being a witch.

    Happy Thanksgiving!

    November 27, 2013
  • A Winter Cocoon

    Now that the temperature has dropped to depressing lows, I’ve turned to TLC reruns for comfort. …My Strange Addiction is the best thing on television… Why wouldn’t I gorge myself on other people’s dysfunction?

    But enough about women addicted to drinking their own urine. Here’s a card about perspective.feeling-bad

    November 26, 2013
  • How To Be A Supercentenarian

    It’s easy!Misao Okawa

    Old folks like Misao Okawa credit their longevity to poached eggs and whiskey.

    Oh, I can do that.

    November 18, 2013
  • Norway? YESway!

    We’ve had some big orders come in from a shop in Oslo… I’ve been trying to figure out how they heard of Zeichen Press…

    Here’s how: If you take a running start, and are a good swimmer, you can get to Oslo from Denmark, and Denmark is just Germany’s top hat… And Germany, as you know, is the birthplace of Gutenberg.44858_print_pressAnd of letterpress… Right? LETTER press?? ZEICHEN Press?? Clearly Zeichen Press is synonymous with letterpress in that part of the world. All they had to do was google letterpress to find this:fran and jen vintage hair updo.words

    There you have it.

    Mystery solved.

    Takk Liebling.

    Oh, clearly they speak English, but I don’t speak Norwegian — and that’s where the interweb comes in handy:liebling page about us nowegianTranslator says:lieblig page about us englishClass dismissed.

    November 15, 2013
  • Alexis and Martha Stewart DO Love Zeichen Press

    I knew it!

    They’ve only been pretending to not see me chase them down the street! Kidders!
    Alexis just ordered all of her Holiday cards from the Zeichen Press shop… which card will she send to Martha??moose-30-f8
    November 9, 2013
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