Zeichen Press – Page 17 – Design & Letterpress for the people.

I DO Believe!

Our four desks were pushed together for a Thanksgiving art project; we wrapped bits of Autumn-colored tissue paper around the end of No. 2 pencils, carefully dipped the wrapped end into the puddle of Elmer’s Glue squirted onto a scrap of construction paper, and placed the florette onto the the inside of the outline of a turkey. 1…2…3… Ten seconds for each one to dry and the process to start all over again.

What a perfect time for my�4th grade�teacher to join us!

Conversation was breezy but quickly turned to talk of Christmas presents… Boy Student, “Can you believe that I believed in Santa Clause until I was in SECOND GRADE!” Laughter from the table… Laughter fades… MY TEACHER confides in the little group, “You guys, don’t laugh � I believed in Santa Clause until I was in�FOURTH GRADE!”

Hmm, *I*�believed in Santa Clause until that very moment. 🙁 <–Frowny Face

OH, BUT WHY DOES LIFE HAVE TO BE SO PEPPERED WITH DISILLUSIONMENT??

Fast forward 33 years,�DreamWorks Studios

just ordered 400 of THIS card.Sooo, there’s that or whatever.

November 18, 2014
WRAPPED IN BACON???

Just imagine�this:

in a Witch or Hobo costume,�“Trick or Treat!”

I was never�Wrapped in Bacon�like these fancy L.A. kids… Our�L.A. rep�sent us this:I’m assuming this little person was Trick-or-Treating… But I see no treat bag, nor do I see a 3-ring binder, NOR DO I SEE the latest issue of The Watchtower.

True story: Since�I�put�my�NO SOLICITORS card on the front door, I have had, exactly, zero solicitors.�Buy yours today!

November 11, 2014
Storm Windows and Firewood and New Cards

And maybe a pregnant cat.

Don’t say anything. JUST DON’T. Tib might have snuck out the window like some sort of wild teenager. We’ll know as soon as we catch her in the kitchen with a tub of Ben & Jerry’s.

In other (less controversial) news from the Zeichen Press Headquarters: The new cards are all printed and�in the shop! Wanna see?

November 5, 2014
Orange Is the New I’m Back

Life is like the murky end of our lake and you’ll have to dump in a 10 lb. bag of Aquacide Pellets if your mom isn’t there to rake the weeds away.

What is she talking about?

Don’t act like you don’t know.

Do you need a Congratulations-ish card?

You do?!

October 28, 2014
Forward, march!

It only took a few minutes to have a mole removed last week (my chest tube scar needed a BFF) and I texted Jen when it was done, exclaiming my relief at the speediness of the procedure.

She told me that that was the easy part.

That’s the way our relationship works � I get my head all full of smells of burnt flesh and joy, and Jen tethers my helium balloon to the doorknob.

It works. IT WORKS.

It’s time, once again, to print cards for the new release.

Choosing a corresponding envelope color can be difficult, and when Lucy or Loretta are unavailable we use another neutral third party.See how intense she is?

SETTLE DOWN, DINAH.

PS: You know we didn’t win Martha’s American Made Award competition. Stop asking.

October 20, 2014
Now What?

We find out on Friday if Martha is adopting us � I already packed my bags. I told Jen to pack hers but I don’t think she heard me as she was pealing out of the driveway with her windows rolled up.�Oh, Jen!

We (Jen) started printing the new release today, and to celebrate, Millie left Jen a present right in front of Zeichen Press HQ.It only seemed appropriate that this card be printed first:

The rest of the week (until the adoption), we (Jen) will be printing all of the new cards:

October 14, 2014

A Blessed Event

Mawage.

Mawage is wot bwings us togeder tooday. Mawage, that bwessed awangment, that dweam wifin a dweam…According to TMZ, Kanye and Kim just got engaged.�(Awww).�Kanye rented out a baseball stadium, hired an orchestra to play Kim’s favorite song, got on one knee and presented her with a 15 carat diamond ring.

Is that all?

I think the space shuttle is rentable. So is Lana Del Ray. And so are all of the South African diamond mine workers.

I expect more from Kanye.

I’ll send him this card.

November 3, 2013
With Eyes Closed And One Hand Tied Behind My Back

There has been much debate and fury over genetically modified food.

But what about genetically modified children?

WHAT ABOUT THAT??PS: I wrote this blog post on my iPhone because I despise easy things.

October 31, 2013
Best Greeting Cards

So says�Minnesota Monthly.

And my mom.

Jen and I went to the�Best Of 2013�party�and dazzled the crowd with our�Double Dream Hands routine.�

Best Greeting Cards?

More like, Best Moves.

October 25, 2013
With Sash And Tiara, We Reign

When Minnesota Monthly added Zeichen Press to their�Best of the Twin Cities�list, Jen and I finally polished our tiaras.And had our likenesses sculpted out of butter.

Delicious.

October 18, 2013
Easily Distracted In Class

I think that box was checked on my elementary school progress reports…�But who could be bothered with such details??

Not me. NOT ME. And that’s why I secured a blank progress report, checked the best boxes, and brought it to my parents.

See? I wasn’t�that�easily distracted.

��

I am busy taking photographs of the new cardsbut not too busy to document some pretty fascinating activity:

Aren’t you glad you watched that??

I know I’m supposed to be doing something… Oh, that’s right, putting hungry vegetables on a card.No??

It’ll come to me after I stare out the window and pet that cat.

October 11, 2013
Brain-Slaves

His conscience was clear and his heart light amidst all his troubles; so he went peaceably to bed, left all his cares to Heaven, and soon fell asleep.�In the morning after he had said his prayers, he sat himself down to his work; when, to his great wonder, there stood the shoes all ready made, upon the table.Elves!�

(Sorry about the spoiler if you haven’t read that Fairy Tale.)

I went to a neurologist and he discovered elves in my occipital lobe and that explains everything!Every night, I go peaceably to bed, leave all my cares to Heaven, and soon fall asleep � but not before I aggressively ruminate on an idea for a new card. While I sleep, the elves get to work and when I wake up, the new card is done!

Thank the elves for this new card:THANK THEM.

October 2, 2013
Ode To My TV (and more)

In the spirit of AMC’s award winning dramas,�Mad Men�and�Breaking Bad, comes something written by the devil himself.

With a script scrawled on toilet paper, using a fountain pen filled with raw sewage,�Pencil Pusher�weaves a tale so dark, so depressing, viewers are advised to swallow two Xanax before viewing.

Meet Ernie Frost: One cog in a massive corporate wheel, one man in one cubicle surrounded by countless other cubicles… Floor upon floor of fabric-covered partitions spread like open prairie.

Deadly open prairie…

Gone are the days of positive incentives and opening the kimono, these are days of the Corporate Gulag.

But�Ernie Frost�has a plan to end the nightmare…

��

Phew! Now I won’t have to throw a brick at my t.v. after the last episode of Breaking Bad.

September 25, 2013
Why I’m Such A Catch

Foraging for low-tide treasure is my third favorite thing to do.

But what are your top two favorite things to do?

Nerf Ping Pong

and smashing pi�atas.

What about your top TEN?

Glad you asked.

Cat midwifery,

cracking glow sticks, raising tadpoles, Belgian beer, letterpress printing,�Breaking Bad,and yoga (just kidding). Number ten is turtle-hunting.

I know what you’re thinking.

What a lady!

Whoa. WHOA.�Hands off the merchandise.

Remember when I was talking about low-tide?

Here’s a card that features one of my favorite low-tide critters.Wouldn’t you love to get this card with a�nice bottle of wine??

And by “you”, I mean “I”.

September 17, 2013
A Dream, Realized AND So Much More

Everyone knows that St. Helena has The Best Fall Festival, this side of the Mississippi.

I did hear that Nativity in St. Paul has a snake pit and a freak-show…

But Saint Helena has rides and games and prizes � prizes like t-shirts that Jen and I made for the Duck Shoot!Yeehaw!!

Give a kid a cork gun, step back (STEP BACK), and watch the magic!Jen is DUCKing.

September 14, 2013
Summit of Greeting Cards

After spending $80,000 on climbing gear and an entourage of Sherpas�in Nepal,

the Canadian woman reached the Summit of Mount Everest.

I’m sure it was glorious.

The relief, the pride, the joy!

BUT, she forgot one teeny-tiny thing: enough oxygen for her descent. With temperatures hovering around -30� and an altitude of 22,000 ft., she laid her body down on the side of the mountain.�

And died.

Lesson??

Never trust a Sherpa.

Zeichen Press reached a summit too! We’ve been climbing Mount Greeting Card for a looong time and we finally reached the tippity-top:�Urban Outfitters.

…But now I’ll have to set a new goal… Suggestions?

Urban Outfitters bought this card � but just to be fancy, it will be printed with a bright blue ink:Let’s do this, indeed.

September 8, 2013