The much-anticipated matchup between Bionic Fran and Wonder Woman is finally here! 
Tickets are available by our back gate and the fight will be held in the driveway.
Come early and pick an unripened tomato to throw at the loser.
The event takes place as soon as Jen finds her way out of the mountains — I know her pockets were stuffed with breadcrumbs, so I’m sure she’ll be fine.
I’ve been pretty busy while she’s been gone… The intern and I talked a lot, I picked up two dead birds and one dead baby rabbit… I brought orders to the post office… I made this birthday card…
My life is an endless sacrifice.
And because I need attention, I made this:
See, it’s a profound cultural statement? DO YOU SEE?!
Oh, what do I do after the gong show? I chase and scold the cat.
until it peed and died in my hands.
Settle down. SETTLE DOWN. They’ve led us on before — I’m not going to fashion a wooden stool into a potty chair so that I can sit by the phone day and night.
I also took the time to create this:
So I think that makes us even.
Who would do such a thing?
The hydrangeas are blue enough.
And the dead people are still dead.
PHEW!
PS: I wrote this blog post on my iPhone because I despise easy things.
And had our likenesses sculpted out of butter.
but not too busy to document some pretty fascinating activity:
No??
Elves! 
Every night, I go peaceably to bed, leave all my cares to Heaven, and soon fall asleep — but not before I aggressively ruminate on an idea for a new card. While I sleep, the elves get to work and when I wake up, the new card is done!
THANK THEM.
and yoga (just kidding). Number ten is turtle-hunting.
Wouldn’t you love to get this card with a 
Yeehaw!!
Jen is DUCKing.
Lesson??
Let’s do this, indeed.