Well, Susie hasnt had her kittens yet and like every other overdue/expecting mother she is watching Oprah and eating tubs of Ben & Jerrys.
Meanwhile, I biked through the Heat
to bring Fred a card so he could photograph it. It isnt any ordinary card it is the card to introduce our new website.
Arent you intrigued?? It must say something sweet just look at that cute little bellhop! Ive been waiting to use him for a long time thanks, cute little bellhop!
Our transition from the Cape included a stay in Boston.
Boston is best experienced on-foot and with a tour guide dressed as Dorothy Quincy Hancock.
The next picture is for Andrea. (Edmund loved the Westin).
Okay, fun’s over. Back to the muggy wall of heat – we walked out of the Minneapolis airport and I felt like someone wrapped me in 100 electric blankets.
… remember when I told you aboutthis?? I don’t know a lot but I do know that this belly is full of kittens. They are due in a few days – and I swear to God, if any of you take one home – I will repay you in strange and creative ways.
One more thing: The pile of mail, collected by Jen, contained this:
After a harrowing day at the beach, I had to stop into theBrewster General Store
to check out their card selection – one thing is clear: they might have enough rubber lobsters but theydoneed some letterpress from Minnesota. I will see what I can do about that.
A day at the beach always includes:
That poor thing has been around for such a long time.
I remember some sort of Mexican-standoff In an early apartmentthat involved my roommate, dirty dishes and refried beans.Neither of us wanted to do the dishes and so they were stacked, teetering on the counter – pots and plates on top of other pots and plates – the bottom of the pile forgotten like a lost tribe. My roommate, a vegetarian, had a particular pot that she favored for heating her refried beans – she used this day after day until one day it was forgotten – and the pot joined the pile. But not before she filled it with water,she believed in the pre-soak method.I’m not sure how much time passed – a forensic scientist would be able to determine that based on the evidence in the kitchen.
I can’t believe she doesn’t see me!…
I’M IN THE HOT AIR BALLOON FLOATING OVER YOU AND MARTHA!!
I knew it… She is walking to the mailbox to send a Zeichen Press card!
She ordered a bunchfromour online shop,but due to doctor/patient (I’m the doctor in this scenario) confidentiality, I cannot divulge which cards she chose.
I CAN tell you that she is concerned about a funny-looking mole on her mom’s bottom.
Jen was part of a dangerous expedition
New product was added tothe shopand I can’t help but wonder which cards will sell well… will they be sheep-related?:
Or not?
My older brothers had a bunk bed, my little brother had his own bed and my sister and I shared a queen-sized bed.
We also shared countless hours of strange bedtime rituals: she would put on her school uniform (white blouse and brown plaid jumper) and pull her nightgown over it that was for early morning efficiency… I would skip the uniform step and go right to the nightgown.
I was so slow!
She would coat her arms in Elmer’s Glue,
I would dress and redress Raggedy Ann.
I don’t know if she shared my fear of the monster under the bed.
No, what am I saying?She did not. In fact, she created the fear!
Siblings can be so cruel.
PHEW!
My Faith in Humanity was fortified! I bought atripod from a stranger on Craiglist and hemade no mention of kidnappng, torturing, OR skinning me.
Now I can stumble my way through taking photographs of the new cards!
The Craigslist man assured me (three times) that the tripod was the “real deal” so that should help.
She waited.
Pacing the widow’s walk, praying for his ship to appear on the horizon, her view of the sea uninterrupted from her perch.
But no!
And who but those onboard could know the truth was it a storm? Pirates? Mutiny?
Or was it The Kraken?
That’s the sound that March makes that and a muffled sobbing.February triggers cabin fever but March in Minnesota is far more dangerous.
Here’s a story about March:One Christmas, Santa put a baby albino rabbit under the tree so delightful!
The little rabbit grew into a big rabbit and by the next Winter, our basement smelled like the bunny barn at the State Fair. With scraps of wood and a bale of hay, I built an outdoor rabbit hutch.
In a pinch, it could serve as a coffin for an adult man.
IN A PINCH.
By March it was buried under several feet of snow and I’d order my eldest to go spend time with the rabbit in the snow coffin.
The moral of the story is: Get a dog.
And something about March creating crazy. Thank God I have an outlet for my March crazy:
My high school English teacher told the class that if we looked up the word ‘glib’ in the dictionary, there would be a picture of me.
She was right!
I think I felt insulted.
I’m sure Jen’s high school English teacher said something similar about her.
And if not, she should have.
What does this have to do with angry parents or a new card?
Obviously, my glibness was not celebrated at home. In fact, it was frowned upon can you believe it?!
And Jen’s reckless behavior?? You’ll have to ask her about that… I mean, pregnant at 19?! What was she THINKING?! (Wait, that was me?? We need to hire a fact checker.)
Look who I found in front of Zeichen Press HQ!
First the squirrels and then the bearAND NOW THIS?!
And it can be done from the comfort of your own home!
If you’re like me (don’t worry, you’re not) you don’t like to “leave” your house or “go” anywhere.
Don’t worry!
World Domination will be yours as long as you have these three things:
1) Wi-Fi
2) Computer
3) Forever Lazy Suit
We just picked up a new rep for the Virginia and West Virginia territories (that’s right, TERRITORIES. Like a gang.)
We are excited to welcome him aboard!
And we hope we don’t scare him away with our love forFranimalsand wine.
There IS a universal language on the World Wide Web and understanding it only requires the appreciation of three things:
1) Kittens
2) Wine
3) Talking dogs
Also, videos where guys get kicked in the nuts but those existed before YouTube.
I follow the dog around the house with my iPhone and I plan on kicking a guy in the nuts this week.
My life is all kittens and wine, so I was able to create the following:
Feel free to share that 1,000,000 times.
And here’s a new card:It’s a true story.