Zeichen Press – Page 21 – Design & Letterpress for the people.

Bionic Fran Goes To the Post Office

The much-anticipated matchup between Bionic Fran and Wonder Woman is finally here!�Tickets are available by our back gate and the fight will be held in the driveway.

Come early and pick an unripened tomato to throw at the loser.

The event takes place as soon as Jen finds her way out of the mountains � I know her pockets were stuffed with breadcrumbs, so I’m sure she’ll be fine.

I’ve been pretty busy while she’s been gone… The intern and I talked a lot, I picked up two dead birds and one dead baby rabbit… I brought orders to the post office… I made this birthday card…

July 24, 2013
Ampersands And Counting Skills

Counting is not as easy as it looks.�The intern and I had to count cards (we love to gamble) for a big�Kate’s Paperie�order.

Holiday cards in June?My life is an endless sacrifice.

All of that counting tasted terrible, and so to cleanse her palette, the intern put a lot of ampersands together. That looked exactly like this:And because I need attention, I made this:See, it’s a profound cultural statement? DO YOU SEE?!

July 20, 2013
And Classic Pam Taketh Away

Jen held the garbage-pail lid and I swung the hammer, it is our shop gong and is ceremoniously banged when we receive an order over $1,000.

We bang it one thousand times and then Jen gets to printing.

Paper Source�ordered a new (for them) card:Oh, what do I do after the gong show?�I chase and scold the cat.

Classic Pam has single-pawedly wiped out an entire rabbit family.

Tsk, tsk!

This one survived…until it peed and died in my hands.

ALSO,�Urban Outfitters�(a real mom and pop joint) wants samples of some of our cards.Settle down. SETTLE DOWN. They’ve led us on before � I’m not going to fashion a wooden stool into a potty chair so that I can sit by the phone day and night.

I’m not. I’M NOT.

July 15, 2013
Vacation Drama

Jen has been toiling away at Zeichen Press Headquarters and I have been thinking about her toiling away at Zeichen Press Headquarters.

It’s hard for me to think about that when I am so busy staring at the ocean.

I also took the time to create this:

(I’m a giver.)

But I did make her a card.

(I hope she doesn’t really want me to help though.)So I think that makes us even.

July 11, 2013
Pilgrimage Part XXXI (Return to Brigadoon)

The pilgrimage to Cape Cod was like a lil’ slice of Purgatory and I wept with joy as we pulled into the driveway. I also wept when we discovered the house-mascot had been murdered in cold blood.Who would do such a thing?

Don’t worry, everything else was in order:

The boats are in the harbor.

The hydrangeas are blue enough.And the dead people are still dead.PHEW!

July 2, 2013
Monkeys On Pogo-Sticks

My application for Mensa included a $20 bill and a film.

I hope they accept me � I want that laminated membership card.

I also incuded a couple of my own cards:

June 12, 2013

The mysterious mating practice of the praying mantis, AND YOU!

Ah, romance!�One couple might choose dinner and a movie… Another couple might choose post-coital cannibalism.

February 15, 2013
Mirror, Mirror On The Wall

Who’s the fairest one of all?

There is SO much happening around here! First, I had to bait a squirrel trapto catch the�Kitchen-Squirrel. I was going to fill the trap with my�kitchen garbage�(her favorite) but I decided to go for something more bourgeois: Skippy Peanut Butter.

And then there was a serious decision to make: Which card would Paper Source like more?I hope we chose wisely because one of our lives (Jen’s) is on the line.

Oh, and I didn’t forget that it is Valentine’s Day today, I am very romantic. Here is proof:

February 14, 2013
Meat Suits And Building A Fan Base

For Immediate Release:�In an attempt to build the Zeichen Press Fan Base, Jen Shea and Fran Shea will�appear on a local cable-access show locked in a cell and covered in Fancy Feast�. 1,000 cats will be released into the cell through a small hatch. Fran and Jen will sing a medley of famous duets, including�Islands In the Stream,�Endless Love, and�You Don’t Bring Me Flowers.

###

February 10, 2013
Inspiration Constipation Frustration

I’ve been told that life is full of challenges. And I’m sure that, someday, I’ll encounter one. I hope it’s not a shipwreck or banishment. …I will probably contract the Ebola Virus.�I designed a card for myself in preparation.

Oh, but here’s a more “buyable” card for those of us that need encouragement:

February 5, 2013
HIGH FIVE!

In the belly of the Good Ship Whistlesnot sat two strangers � one called Captain Fatchtinkle and the other, Timtim Lipskin.

They chatted like two gentlemen between rounds of whiskey-pong and Password and it wasn’t long before discovering�they shared a passion for shuffleboard.

A friendship was born!

(To be continued…)

February 2, 2013
Understanding Your Target Demographic

Hello.

My name is�Pevenshire Wiffynuts�and I’m here today to talk about targeting your demographic. Whether you are marketing adult diapers, cowboy hats, or cemetery plots, it is critical that you understand your audience. That may mean that you have to poop in your pants, herd cows, or bury a loved one.

Don’t be afraid to do these things � they will help you effectively move product and change lives.�

Wow! Thanks, Pevenshire.

I hear what you’re saying � I ripped off my mom-mask to reveal the face of an eight-year-old-boy so I could create this birthday card:

January 29, 2013
Fairy Tales And True Tales

The poor peasant said it best, “even if we had only one and it were quite small, and only as big as a thumb, I should be quite satisfied, and we would still love it with all our hearts.”

If Fairy Tales were true, hedgehogs would speak and donkeys would spew gold. And poor old peasants could wish and receive tiny children.

I wrote a Fairy Tale about an old childless couple and a duck. Inspired by�true events. In the story, there is a duck, a baby, and an angry mob.

But I’ve said too much!

I’ll get that published someday but MEANWHILE here is a card for the new parent � it features a disgruntled chick.

January 28, 2013
Have You Seen This Baby?

I’ve nursed a few babies in my day and that makes me an expert on sacrifice.

It does.

Or is it laziness? Making a bottle seemed like so much work! …Get out of my cozy bed, walk all the way to the kitchen, measure and pour powdered formula into a bottle, warm water in pan on stove, add water to bottle, test temperature

OR

lift up my shirt.

Anyway, I made a card for the new mother:

January 25, 2013
General Sherman’s Men Are Praying For You

Isn’t that a comforting thought?

If I had a tumor, I’d want a group of strangers to pray it away.

Less messy than surgery.

Also, if I could train a field-full of meerkats to pray for me, I would.That would be adorable.

Thanks (or no thanks) to Facebook, phrases that were once packed with meaning, are like a watered-down drink:�You are in our prayers… We are all praying for you…

These, followed by a frowny-face 🙁 are now much more common than a hand-written note.

🙁 x 1,000!

Someday we’ll create�Encouragement Cards�for the most grievous of events�(will we??)�but how about those events that still deserve more than a Facebook comment? How about: sewage backups, low-risk operations, stomach flus, power-outtages, lost dogs, lost luggage, car-jackings, rat-infestations, or hauntings?

Not quite tragic but still entitled to a show of support. A card like this (IN THE MAILBOX) would cheer a person up posthaste:

January 16, 2013
Hands-Free Forever

It was time for�The Sign Of Peace,�and as all members of the congregation turned to offer their hand for a firm shaking, I slowly let my sleeve swallow�my�hand.

With a forlorn look and one missing hand, I imagined the gasps of concern for my deformity. I turned to the family in the pew behind me � they would wonder if I was born crippled or if my hand had been lost in a bloody accident. I was eager to extend my handless arm, my face already prepared and appropriately pitiful.

Oh, but why do parents have to crush their children’s fantasies?

And here’s another story about hands:

I took woodshop in highschool.

I did.�I was the only girl. The room was filled with dangerous power-tools and I secretly hoped for the “automatic A” decribed by the teacher:�”If a student is dumb enough to sever a finger or an entire hand, they will receive an automatic A.”�

Unfortunately, I successfully made a box:Speaking of hands, here’s a new card:

January 13, 2013