Zeichen Press – Page 24 – Design & Letterpress for the people.

PYT RNC GOP

The Republican National Convention is coming to our town! Right after the State Fair! How can one state be so lucky? It’s like having Christmas and Easter back to back! We live in Minneapolis, so I guess we’ll be the GOafterP. We wanted to make something to commemorate this momentous occasion, postcards are a nice flat souvenir, we made some. Actually it was at the request of the owner of the Romeo and Juliet Shops in Gaviidae Commons. Apparently she loves politics. Oh, The Weisman Museum Store bought some yesterday, we’ll see how they do with the kids on campus.�Buy some online:

August 28, 2008
Positive Retrogression.

I’ve heard home computers are all the rage. I’ve heard I could use a computer for design and something called a desktop printer to print my wonderful design. That sounds awfully complicated. Today I went into the shop~studio, dug around for an old cut, selected a nice fat face of type, locked it all up in my 7 pound cast iron chase, inked up my 2 ton cast iron printing press and printed a singe birthday card for Jen. She liked it.�

August 27, 2008
Design and letterpress for dummies.

I’m the dummy, not you. Or maybe you are? Only you can answer that. So, here we are. One, possibly two, dummies. Maybe you are interested in design, or letterpress, or both. Maybe you like funny things. My studio (Zeichen Press) does all (not all) it can to combine design, letterpress, and funny. We happen to have cornered the market on that little tripartite. As if teaching myself to use tons of antiquated letterpress equipment isn’t geeky enough, I’ll also drop annoying words like, “tripartite” and “antiquated”. Even that phrase, “cornered the market” should be erased. Too late, I said it, it’s done, I refuse to censor myself. Hence the divorce. I’m kidding. I’m separated. I’m not separated, I’m happily married to a separatist. Did I say separatist? I meant, Septembrist.�

August 25, 2008

Mating Tips

The only way to find out if you’re truly compatible with another is to spend a year together aboard a Portuguese fishing vessel.

Unfortunately, that’s not always an option. Don’t spend another minute agonizing!

Forget the touchy-feely�Relationships�aisle at Barnes & Noble or (gasp) your local library! Forget the $120/hour couples counselor! Forget mind-reading, unmet expectations, behavior prediction!

Zeichen Press has created a $4.00 cheat sheet!�Collect them all (there’s only one) and store them safely in a polished mahogany box. Tabulated by topics, like: Division-of-Labor, Apology,�and so much more!

*A�Mating Tip Card�and a BB gun make the perfect wedding gift.

October 3, 2012
Neglected Category

My retirement plans are needy and demand an Airstream Trailer

and a plot of land in Pigeon Forge, Tennessee � as close as possible to Dollywood.

That would be fine as cream gravy.

Yes, retirement � everyone does it differently. Some like to join communities in Arizona and some like to hoard cats. Hoard cats until one day they have a stroke, can’t get to the phone, die of starvation, and their beloved pets eat their face.

But everyone is so different!�And as my Grandma Shea used to say, “It takes all kinds.”

So wise.

September 26, 2012
A Loon Call For Garrison Keillor And Hat Made of Money

When I heard Jen was participating in the Loon Call Contest at the�Prairie Home Companion Street Party, I said a quick prayer to Saint Genesius.

I can’t believe she didn’t win.�

Earlier that day,�this�angel�dressed in plain clothes�was spotted:

If I wore a hat made of money, I’d have a faraway look in my eye, too.

September 22, 2012
Eating My Weight In Vegetables

Did you know that the�Arboretum�has a�pick-your-own�vegetable garden? The signs were more intuitive than posted.

My latest health craze (the last one turned out not to be a “health” craze) promises an upward trajectory of boundless energy and crisply firing synapses. Kale, spinach, green chard, cucumber, celery, lemon, parsley, and apple in one glass.

In one glass.

I’ve learned that a bagful of smuggled kale equals one thimbleful of juice.

One thimbleful.

I wonder how many ounces I would be if I were juiced.�Note to self: Juicing bodies would make them easier to flush down toilet.

Look at these beautiful Dahlias and forget everything I just said:Weren’t those lovely?

All of the flowers and vegetables inspired a Father’s Day card:

September 14, 2012
Gather Ye Nuts While Ye May

September is the schizophrenic sibling in the Year Family�one day a beastly 90�, the next day fighting off dinosaurs in the living room. Dust off your crock-pots, it’s time for meat and vegetables to mingle on the countertop for hours.�Once Upon A Time, I got a massage in September. It was from a hobbit�he blessed the vessel that was me and scampered around the table like his footsies were on fire. When it was over, he requested a hug. I consented because I have never hugged a hobbit and I didn’t want to crush his tiny hobbit-heart.

September 12, 2012
Killing Several Birds With Two Seahorses

�I am all about efficiency.�It’s one of the (two) things people love about me. If I can’t multi-task my way through a problem, it’s better left to a pre-schooler.�I always say.

Yes, it’s an enviable quality; I can think about any number of things�while I work on something else.

The neighbor that flipped me off�called me the other night. She wanted to accuse my kids of egging her car. I told her that�I�egged her car. She couldn’t hear my confession because she was too busy talking about someone stealing Bounty Paper Towels from her backseat.

I thought about my conversation with her while I worked on some seahorses in photoshop. Here’s the thing/a little secret:�Not every image comes to us as a perfect little mounted printer’s block.�

There are some that need finessing:I’m sure you knew that.

I feel like I have to apologize for the latest card.

I’m sorry.

Here it is,�sss.�(sorry so sappy)

September 6, 2012
State Fair Inspired Christmas Cards

Maybe it’s the�Grilled Spamwiches

or the Walking Tacos. Maybe it’s the�4-H Barn, full of homespun country talent.

Or maybe it’s the�Birth Barn.Ham!

Perhaps it is a combination of these magical happenings. This yearly phenomenon fills me with such joy… such eager anticipation! There are visual delights to behold whenever the head is turned!

It reminds me of�The Birth of Our Lord.�I bet the shepherds know what I’m talking about.

Anyway, I shouldn’t�question my inspiration.

Here are two new Christmas cards:

August 31, 2012
Old-School Birthday Card

It was Jen’s birthday yesterday. She celebrated by cramming her car with kids and driving East for five hours.

I celebrated by going to my In-Laws to hear some family history � �a combination of Downton Abbey and Angela’s Ashes.

BUT before these festive events, I gave Jen a card:Perhaps you recognize that man?His pants are usually radioactive, but not for this card.

August 27, 2012
MERRY (name)MAS!

Times were simple then � pre-Facebook… cats fixed… no�Dance Moms…

The air was thick with anticipation � it wasn’t fair to keep�Zeichen Press�hidden from the�public.It was time to pry open the (heirloom-quality) tupperware lid. Time to expose the rotting and pungent living carcass to the unblinking eye of its critics.

The Universe demanded documentation. Who am I to refuse?

That was four years ago (today).Now, readership of the Zeichen Press blog hovers somewhere between cable-access viewership and meaningful Craigslist encounters.

Cheers!

August 25, 2012
THINKING OF YOU

Time alone was rare. But in a pinch,�I was forced to conjure up an imaginary playmate. This was a strange exercise and not something I was particularly good at.

Other children lived in complex and exotic worlds of make-believe � I don’t think the “friends” in their pretend worlds were�from Minnesota ��with names like�Carura Fadida�and�Anarada Salsa.

There was a girl who lived in the glossy tile next to the toilet. I spoke with her when there was no soul around.

Her name was “Fran.”

Rooted in reality, with a strong sense of the superfluousness of an imaginary world. I was, and am, from German stock.�Zees duss neecht make senss.

It must be that toe-hold in reality that permits me to create the following:

August 22, 2012