Zeichen Press – Page 3 – Design & Letterpress for the people.

METRO home found us!

It was only a matter of time because we were standing outside their office.

METRO home�is a new�special�section in�METRO. The cover of this months issue is intriguing and frightening. It might be a photograph of a bedroom/torture chamber.�What’s behind those curtains?Yikes! This room comes with shackles and nightmares.

Urban Living Manifesto�sounds really serious. Do people really take themselves that seriously?? Two words for them:�settle. down.

Oh, but here’s something cheerful -�it’s about Zeichen Press:
Those Room & Board prints were sure worth all of the sweat I dripped on them last Summer!

May 4, 2011
Goodbye Craftstravaganza 2011

I was right in the middle of a dream where both of my eyeballs were, curiously, weeping blood. This was, of course, followed by an intense search for a public toilet and, AS USUAL, the only available toilet was in a high-traffic area of the Southdale Mall.

Thank God Jen called and woke me up. But not before I reluctantly�(why do I always do it??)�sat my bare bottom on the toilet.

If I’ve learned anything in my life it is how to be wrenched from a sound sleep and into a car in under 5 minutes.

It’s not pretty but neither is childbirth.

Jen and I stopped for our traditional latte at the�May Day Cafe�and then it was onward to the State Fairgrounds. The Fine Arts Building was our cold and unwelcoming host, its huge doors left open to remind us that April can be just as cold as November.

I’m sure the whole building was full of crafty-goodness but unless tables were set up on the way to the bathroom, I wasn’t going to see them. For eight hours, I did observe the folks running the�Burlesque of North America�table. They are screen printers – a craft that I have always had a crush on. Anyway, despite the sweetness of their prints, they were just as freezing as us.

Poor thing!

Our big experiment for this year’s fair involved a QR code

that led to our latest�Watch and Share�card.

It was successful. If you measure success in terms of wishes and smiles. Which I do.

May 1, 2011
WATCHandSHAREcards

Dynamite magazine�was full of hard-hitting news for kids growing up in the 1970’s.

But the best part of the magazine were the centerfolds. I wanted the�Hang in There!�poster so bad. It would have looked sweet on my closet door – right next to my Jackson 5 poster.

Struck by nostalgia and surrounded by (more) kittens, I took it upon myself to recreate the magic moment of the earnest kitten:When I was all done forcing the kittens to perform adorable stunts, it was time to make�videos of people reading Zeichen Press cards.

Let me explain:�Beneath various cards in our�online shop, there will be a link to a video of someone (it could be you!) reading the card aloud.�Why?�Because even�the lazy and the ne’er do wells have a right to Zeichen Press cards.

April 2, 2011
A Grateful Robot and a Ladies Night Out

My grandma kept a drawer-full of greeting cards in her buffet. An entire drawer, devoted to spontaneous correspondence!

What a woman.

She also�kept plastic on her sofa and carpet on her kitchen floor. She really wanted to protect her furniture and linoleum.

The Thank-You Note is a classic greeting card and should be the foundation of any collection. Receiving a thank-you note in the mail is a little bit like finding money in last Winter’s coat or a good hat in a snowbank.

Let’s write one together!

First,�choose a card:Now on to the writing… We’ll break it down into 5 easy steps:

1) Begin with a greeting:�Dear Aunt Shirley,

She loves to hear her name because cats can’t talk.

2) This is the meat of the note and notice there is no appetizer. This is a “note” not a letter. Cut right to it:�Thank you so much for the medical marijuana!�If the gift from Aunt Shirley was cash,�do not mention it.�Speak instead of her “generosity.”�Thank you for your generosity!

3) Say a little bit about how you use or will use the gift:�I smoke it everyday!

4) Mention the last time you saw Aunt Shirley and hint at a future meeting:�It was lovely to see you at Uncle Bob’s funeral, I hope to see you again before your funeral!

5) And scene:�Love, Fran

Oh, and here’s another card that will be added to the line:

February 22, 2011
Franstravaganza Part II

“It is finished.” She gasped as she crumpled to the cold, concrete. It was, by all accounts, glorious. The work would outlast the artist and elevate the art form to new and dizzying heights.�

But she, exhausted and covered in ink, was oblivious. To her, this was nothing more than an exercise. A functional and fleeting piece, it would be handled roughly and discarded by Springtime.

Um, so, that poster for�Craftsravaganza�is, like, done:

February 14, 2011
Franstravaganza!

There are a couple of things going on around here:

1) Our fax machine is spitting out orders faster than we (jen) can fill them.

2) We (I) are (am) making the poster for this year’s�Craftstravanganza.

Just to make my load fair, I listen to a recording of screaming children while I work.

I think it really shows:

Today, I will put ink on that – it will be so spectacular there won’t be a dry eye in the room. (I’ll be the only one in the room.)

February 13, 2011

Copy. Paste. Repeat. Copy. Paste. Repeat. Copy. Paste. Repeat. Copy. Paste. Repeat.

Have I mentioned how much Millie The Dog�barks at anything and everything within a 500 foot perimeter of our house? Mailman, delivery-person, solicitors, neighbors, guests, the kids, trick-or-treaters, my mom… We’ve talked a lot about it and she feels super responsible for alerting us – I told her that we really don’t need that kind of help, BUT WE DID. SHE WAS RIGHT.�SHE’S ALWAYS RIGHT.

SO, my driveway was full of a dumpster filled with bathroom remodel debris, Millie was having a staycation with a friend, AND SOME JERK CLIPPED THE LOCK ON OUR SHED AND STOLE MY BIKE.And he threw the lock in the dirt like some sort of criminal.

AND THEN, the loser (no judgment) tried to sell MY bike on a site called OfferUp.com.

But he is as slippery as an eel wrapped in a banana peel, and disappeared INTO THE NIGHT. Police have been alerted, prayers to St. Anthony have been said. I asked St. Anthony if he could forward my prayers onto the Patron Saint of Stolen Goods and he told me to go back to sleep and stop Googling�escutcheons�for the new bathroom.

FINE.

While I wait for my miracle, I spend days mindlessly migrating ALL of the content from the Zeichen Press site to THE NEW Zeichen Press site. DON’T WORRY, you won’t even be able to tell the difference because we wanted to spend a lot of money on something that nobody notices.

OH, and Jen got some new/old cutsso�I made a Father’s Day Card out of that little man.BACK TO MIGRATING/WEEPING.

September 22, 2016
Hygiene Tester

I�did the math�and figured�out that two�toilets MINUS one toilet EQUALS one�toilet. And one shower MINUS one shower EQUALS zero showers.

I desperately yelled that equation to the boys during my bathroom demo, but they pretended not to hear me.I only gave birth to them to provide me with free manual labor. Ha! Who’s laughing now, boys??

Anyway, who needs a shower??OR a bath??I barely do.

And as soon as all of my family and friends get back from being out of town for a month, they’ll tell you the same.

Here’s a new birthday card/fantasy:

September 5, 2016
Jenmas Eve!

Everyone celebrates Jenmas Eve differently.*I*�like to go to�Hot Plate�SANS�Jen to eat a Mexican Omelet surrounded by a gallery of�paint-by-number masterpieces.

YEARS AGO, Jen (carefully) slaved away over *her* masterpiece and it sits atop a shelf of knick-knacks in Cape Cod.�

She was so dedicated!�

I bet she knew that someday I’d repay her in birthday cards.

August 25, 2016
Will Design 4… White Italian Cararra Marble Hexagon Tile

The Art Licensor (RSVP) asked us for some birthday cards and because I love to work/need money, I made nine. I won’t bore you with the details/need to get back to listening to my new podcast (My Favorite Murder).

Here are a few… Will they choose any???

Stay tuned.

Thank you, Karen Kilgariff and Georgia Hardstark. I can’t wait until�Alexis Stewart�and I meet you in person!

August 16, 2016
Minnehahahahahahahaha Creek

“What street is this??”�I yelled up to the boy watching us float past him. He told me that we were just about to enter the Ninth Circle of Hell.

PHEW!�Almost done!

Three hours to travel 2.5 miles…�Could we have walked faster than the creek carried us?�Oh, THAT’S the point my kids were making when they got out of their tubes and dragged them the last four blocks!�Oh, kids! So subtle!

I didn’t get a photograph of them on our adventure, BUT a giant spider landed on my belly! AND who needs a picture of all three when�one�of them modeled for the company that made our tubes?

(Grip those handles! Safety first, Dylan!)

I only thought the creek-pollution caused blindness one time and I only lost my sunglasses one time — I’d call that a win!

Here’s a card, maybe inspired by laughter-induced bladder incontinence. MAYBE NOT.

August 11, 2016
Roadhouse and Tea Towels and Poop Sandwiches

My life is one big Sexy Action Thriller. And being a bouncer at the Double Deuce in Missouri when I was only ten years old was pretty intense. Sure, I had great hair and sure I had a winning smile, and sure I always made breaking up bar fights and drinking black coffee look sexy.�That’s just who I am.

Truth is, practicing tai chi in your brother’s�sweatpants and running a letterpress design studio with cards�SOLD AROUND THE WORLD, takes discipline and dedication.

Live Wires,�our New Zealand distributor,�knows this and sent us a token of appreciation.

I think they’re supposed to be for tea but I already used mine for sopping up blood from a letterpress-related (packing tape dispenser) injury.�Thanks Helen Harvey!

After I bandaged my wound, I made this:

July 31, 2016
As The World Turns

My little sister�had baby #2 last week, she gave birth at home but, strangely, didn’t ask me to participate.

Despite my lack of presence,�the birth went off without a hitch because anyone can boil water and get towels. (SORRY MOM.)

I will give her this card the next time I break in to her house:

ALSO, I made this because I am so into politics:So, you don’t need to watch the news tonight. You’re welcome.

July 21, 2016
I Dreamed a Dream

Dinah told me about her crazy dream!

She�said we�left her for two weeks with�Tib�and Jen so we could go to Cape Cod, and she had a fever and�hair-balls. She said it was actually more like a nightmare � poor thing!

I didn’t have the heart to tell her that her nightmare was real… that we�did�leave her for two weeks with Tib and Jen.

But she isn’t alone.�When she reads the blog, she’ll find out about our scary flight home. The airline warned us, but people just do whatever they want.The other passengers made calls on their flip-phones,�watched who-knows-what on portable televisions,�drove their remote-controlled cars up and down the aisle, talked to each other on walkie-talkies, and blasted music on transistor radios! Meanwhile�we,�The Law-Abiding,�were�stuck in the teeny-tiny bathroom, forced to take hysterical selfies.BUT, we managed to land safely, no thanks to all of that recklessness. I will NOT be giving them my latest Thank You Card.

July 13, 2016
02630

Cape Cod 2016 is (so far) drama AND cage-free. Wait, we�did�lose one member of the party searching for the water shut-off valve in the cellar.

He was brave and will be missed.

More importantly, we never found that shut-off valve!�One life wasted.

But we must carry on, he would have wanted it that way.The very next day was filled with so much splashing and laughter and sunscreen, I’m sure Ben was looking down on us and giggling! Oh, how he’d giggle!AND here’s a little thing from The Boston Globe about�Millennials’�loving PAPER greeting cards.�DUH.

July 1, 2016
Mystery Solving and Scapegoating and Huge Fans

This�isn’t the first time�I blamed The Cats for a crime they didn’t commit.

Nor will it be the last.�The odor of rotten animal is unforgettable and like the odor of rotting potato, it is embedded in the brain. But sometimes the brain jumbles the smell of decomposing rodent with the smell of a blanket of maggots coating the bottom of the garbage can.

And that is where my story begins…

The Summer Breeze gently wafted through the upstairs windows. It was pleasant, until an occasional repulsive odor stung my nostrils. I blamed The Cats for hunting, killing, and hiding their prey somewhere on my second floor.

But a search for a body was in vain and a garbage can investigation led me to the real suspect: that damn�blanket of maggots coating the bottom of the garbage can!

Mea culpa, Tib!��When will I ever trust you again??

Speaking of breezes (and puns??)… Here’s a new thank you/congratulations card.

June 18, 2016