Zeichen Press – Page 3 – Design & Letterpress for the people.

Wherein the dog wears a wig for Room and Board and Jen pies type

Yes, well… As you can see, the dog was ready to meet with Room and Board today. We fought over the wig but there’s just no talking to her. I don’t even think the wig looks that great �- her fur is a totally different color.

Whenever Room and Board stops out to visit, Jen dumps a case of type onto another case of type. I think it’s a waste of time but Jen loves wasting time – I have to be like,�“Jen, quit wasting time.”

Oh, well – the meeting went great (I think they think we’re strange. Maybe the wig�was�too much??) They told us to make some more�alphabet press-type prints.

That’s what they call those. I call them tickets to Cape Cod but that’s none of your business.

May 12, 2010
What DOESN’T a “Long Men’s Wig” have to do with letterpress?

The creepy severed head would not discourage us from our very important purchase.�The wig�will play a small, but pivotal, role in our upcoming film (tentatively titled,�Your CPR Hurts My Chest).

May 8, 2010
(Edina) Minnesota! Where the Booze Drips Freely From the Trees

Right? We met with half of the�“Jelly Shot Test Kitchen”�AND if you don’t know what I’m talking about -�you soon will.�These Edina�ladies (why did I italicize that?)�answered a pretty serious question:�“What would a jell-o shot look like if it grew up?”�

Here’s the answer:

A Jelly Shot Test Kitchen “cookbook” (cookbook?) is in the works and they have come to Zeichen Press to help create some buzz. I wonder if it’s because�they caught wind of our professionalism.�Probably.

May 6, 2010
Craft+Extravaganza=Craftstravaganza

Does Geek+Spectacular=Geektacular? I was never good at math but I DO know that the State Fairgrounds are going to be�wall-to-wall geeks tomorrow. Jen and I will be there handing out love-letters and hugs to all of our loyal customers.

We went there tonight to set up. This baby has been following Jen around for, like, two years:

May 1, 2010
OH, I get it! PR is like stalking!

Creative, elaborate, polite (but persistent) stalking! Nothing against the�creative�stalkers out there. You know who you are.�Please don’t start re-stalking me.

I sent out the press package for Tanek today, it contained everything but a pan of brownies and a lock of my hair.

I hope�Neal St. Anthony�likes kittens.

Did I hand set that type?

Yes.

April 29, 2010
email is so 2009

I love getting a letter in the mail – and getting a package in the mail is like finding money under your pillow. Or discovering a coin in a freshly gutted fish.

Reading�my�email goes like this:�delete, delete, delete, delete, delete, delete, delete, delete, delete, �delete, delete, delete, delete, delete, delete… oh, that’s important… delete, delete, delete, delete, delete, delete, delete, delete, delete, delete, delete, delete.�

As you know,�Zeichen Press is handling all things that fall into the realm of communications for�Tanek Inc.�This job is usually less messy than gutting a fish but just as satisfying. Contacting reporters is part of the job and we realized that doing so via email might just be a little bit like whispering to your date across a crowded room. Not that we have dates. Or are ever invited to rooms that are crowded.

Here is the first part of a press package going out to local reporters. (Neal St. Anthony, you lucky devil!)

(Here’s a story:�Ken Piper�of Tanek was the head designer for the brand-new KMOJ station in North Minneapolis. That’s right: North Minneapolis. Watch out, South Minneapolis – the Northside is picking up steam!)

April 26, 2010

Copy. Paste. Repeat. Copy. Paste. Repeat. Copy. Paste. Repeat. Copy. Paste. Repeat.

Have I mentioned how much Millie The Dog�barks at anything and everything within a 500 foot perimeter of our house? Mailman, delivery-person, solicitors, neighbors, guests, the kids, trick-or-treaters, my mom… We’ve talked a lot about it and she feels super responsible for alerting us – I told her that we really don’t need that kind of help, BUT WE DID. SHE WAS RIGHT.�SHE’S ALWAYS RIGHT.

SO, my driveway was full of a dumpster filled with bathroom remodel debris, Millie was having a staycation with a friend, AND SOME JERK CLIPPED THE LOCK ON OUR SHED AND STOLE MY BIKE.And he threw the lock in the dirt like some sort of criminal.

AND THEN, the loser (no judgment) tried to sell MY bike on a site called OfferUp.com.

But he is as slippery as an eel wrapped in a banana peel, and disappeared INTO THE NIGHT. Police have been alerted, prayers to St. Anthony have been said. I asked St. Anthony if he could forward my prayers onto the Patron Saint of Stolen Goods and he told me to go back to sleep and stop Googling�escutcheons�for the new bathroom.

FINE.

While I wait for my miracle, I spend days mindlessly migrating ALL of the content from the Zeichen Press site to THE NEW Zeichen Press site. DON’T WORRY, you won’t even be able to tell the difference because we wanted to spend a lot of money on something that nobody notices.

OH, and Jen got some new/old cutsso�I made a Father’s Day Card out of that little man.BACK TO MIGRATING/WEEPING.

September 22, 2016
Hygiene Tester

I�did the math�and figured�out that two�toilets MINUS one toilet EQUALS one�toilet. And one shower MINUS one shower EQUALS zero showers.

I desperately yelled that equation to the boys during my bathroom demo, but they pretended not to hear me.I only gave birth to them to provide me with free manual labor. Ha! Who’s laughing now, boys??

Anyway, who needs a shower??OR a bath??I barely do.

And as soon as all of my family and friends get back from being out of town for a month, they’ll tell you the same.

Here’s a new birthday card/fantasy:

September 5, 2016
Jenmas Eve!

Everyone celebrates Jenmas Eve differently.*I*�like to go to�Hot Plate�SANS�Jen to eat a Mexican Omelet surrounded by a gallery of�paint-by-number masterpieces.

YEARS AGO, Jen (carefully) slaved away over *her* masterpiece and it sits atop a shelf of knick-knacks in Cape Cod.�

She was so dedicated!�

I bet she knew that someday I’d repay her in birthday cards.

August 25, 2016
Will Design 4… White Italian Cararra Marble Hexagon Tile

The Art Licensor (RSVP) asked us for some birthday cards and because I love to work/need money, I made nine. I won’t bore you with the details/need to get back to listening to my new podcast (My Favorite Murder).

Here are a few… Will they choose any???

Stay tuned.

Thank you, Karen Kilgariff and Georgia Hardstark. I can’t wait until�Alexis Stewart�and I meet you in person!

August 16, 2016
Minnehahahahahahahaha Creek

“What street is this??”�I yelled up to the boy watching us float past him. He told me that we were just about to enter the Ninth Circle of Hell.

PHEW!�Almost done!

Three hours to travel 2.5 miles…�Could we have walked faster than the creek carried us?�Oh, THAT’S the point my kids were making when they got out of their tubes and dragged them the last four blocks!�Oh, kids! So subtle!

I didn’t get a photograph of them on our adventure, BUT a giant spider landed on my belly! AND who needs a picture of all three when�one�of them modeled for the company that made our tubes?

(Grip those handles! Safety first, Dylan!)

I only thought the creek-pollution caused blindness one time and I only lost my sunglasses one time — I’d call that a win!

Here’s a card, maybe inspired by laughter-induced bladder incontinence. MAYBE NOT.

August 11, 2016
Roadhouse and Tea Towels and Poop Sandwiches

My life is one big Sexy Action Thriller. And being a bouncer at the Double Deuce in Missouri when I was only ten years old was pretty intense. Sure, I had great hair and sure I had a winning smile, and sure I always made breaking up bar fights and drinking black coffee look sexy.�That’s just who I am.

Truth is, practicing tai chi in your brother’s�sweatpants and running a letterpress design studio with cards�SOLD AROUND THE WORLD, takes discipline and dedication.

Live Wires,�our New Zealand distributor,�knows this and sent us a token of appreciation.

I think they’re supposed to be for tea but I already used mine for sopping up blood from a letterpress-related (packing tape dispenser) injury.�Thanks Helen Harvey!

After I bandaged my wound, I made this:

July 31, 2016
As The World Turns

My little sister�had baby #2 last week, she gave birth at home but, strangely, didn’t ask me to participate.

Despite my lack of presence,�the birth went off without a hitch because anyone can boil water and get towels. (SORRY MOM.)

I will give her this card the next time I break in to her house:

ALSO, I made this because I am so into politics:So, you don’t need to watch the news tonight. You’re welcome.

July 21, 2016
I Dreamed a Dream

Dinah told me about her crazy dream!

She�said we�left her for two weeks with�Tib�and Jen so we could go to Cape Cod, and she had a fever and�hair-balls. She said it was actually more like a nightmare � poor thing!

I didn’t have the heart to tell her that her nightmare was real… that we�did�leave her for two weeks with Tib and Jen.

But she isn’t alone.�When she reads the blog, she’ll find out about our scary flight home. The airline warned us, but people just do whatever they want.The other passengers made calls on their flip-phones,�watched who-knows-what on portable televisions,�drove their remote-controlled cars up and down the aisle, talked to each other on walkie-talkies, and blasted music on transistor radios! Meanwhile�we,�The Law-Abiding,�were�stuck in the teeny-tiny bathroom, forced to take hysterical selfies.BUT, we managed to land safely, no thanks to all of that recklessness. I will NOT be giving them my latest Thank You Card.

July 13, 2016
02630

Cape Cod 2016 is (so far) drama AND cage-free. Wait, we�did�lose one member of the party searching for the water shut-off valve in the cellar.

He was brave and will be missed.

More importantly, we never found that shut-off valve!�One life wasted.

But we must carry on, he would have wanted it that way.The very next day was filled with so much splashing and laughter and sunscreen, I’m sure Ben was looking down on us and giggling! Oh, how he’d giggle!AND here’s a little thing from The Boston Globe about�Millennials’�loving PAPER greeting cards.�DUH.

July 1, 2016
Mystery Solving and Scapegoating and Huge Fans

This�isn’t the first time�I blamed The Cats for a crime they didn’t commit.

Nor will it be the last.�The odor of rotten animal is unforgettable and like the odor of rotting potato, it is embedded in the brain. But sometimes the brain jumbles the smell of decomposing rodent with the smell of a blanket of maggots coating the bottom of the garbage can.

And that is where my story begins…

The Summer Breeze gently wafted through the upstairs windows. It was pleasant, until an occasional repulsive odor stung my nostrils. I blamed The Cats for hunting, killing, and hiding their prey somewhere on my second floor.

But a search for a body was in vain and a garbage can investigation led me to the real suspect: that damn�blanket of maggots coating the bottom of the garbage can!

Mea culpa, Tib!��When will I ever trust you again??

Speaking of breezes (and puns??)… Here’s a new thank you/congratulations card.

June 18, 2016