Zeichen Press – Page 30 – Design & Letterpress for the people.

If your parents REALLY loved you

they would have me design a super sweet invitation for an important event in your life.�IF they REALLY loved you they would call me on the phone and say, “Hey, Fran! My name is Mr. Blee-Blah-Blah! I would like to demonstrate my love for my child by paying you to artistically interpret an upcoming event. �Your design savoir faire is the ONLY match for the depth of love I have for my child. They have a (insert important event) coming up. Let’s do this.”�

CLICK.

I’m just saying.

We created the following Bat Mitzvah invitation for a family that clearly knows how to express their love:

March 31, 2009
Room & Board & Me & Jen & Kangaroo Meat

Ding! Round two!

Meeting with Room & Board this afternoon. If all goes according to my master-plan* R&B will bite the inside of their cheeks to stifle their sobs of awe when I reveal The Prints. To diffuse the awesome aura, I will hand out sunglasses. Personally, I think inked antique type is as delicious as kangaroo meat from First Course.

YES. kangaroo meat.�

Round one for Room & Board ended up being a creative exercise – I know, I know. My Reward Will Be In Heaven. I produced some cutey cutes for Children’s Rooms. I dug down deep into that soft part of my heart – it was under a layer of small pebbles – and found these: I call them Franimals:

*master-plan: do not get lost driving to Room & Board HQ.

March 26, 2009
fancy-talk

Dahhhhhhhhhhhhhling!

You simply must see the latest thing! Diamonds are so last week and pearls are so last century.�Resin and metal is H-O-T! I hate to muddle-up the Natural Order of the Universe (no, I don’t) but we simply couldn’t say no to�Ampersand Designs�suggestion of collaboration!

We already sat side-by-side in the�Oscar Luncheon�gift bags – and – although opening the gift bags caused a face-melting scene ala Raiders of the Lost Ark,�we decided to combine our chocolate with their peanut butter for a super-sweet fashion-statement.

Buy one or ten today!

March 18, 2009
I ? NE + Downtown + Scott Parkin + Stephen Lynch + Rod Cone + David Josefsberg

Dear Diary,

Last night was ever so much fun! I went to a party and got a lock of everyone’s hair for my scrapbook. My art was hot glue-gunned to the wall by Jen.

Oh, Jen… will she ever settle down? She wore a short little dress and MOTORCYCLE BOOTS!! She’s trouble. See her little tiny head?:

The young man that sold me my dress failed to tell me that it also doubled as a shirt.

I blame him for the indecent length.

I also blame him for climate change, hiccoughs, Christopher Reeve’s “accident”, and my parents break-up.

~

There were so many tasty bits about that party. Jocelyn’s food and drink was dee. lish.us.

�Scott Parkin‘s street-level office was cooler (and cleaner) than anything I will ever own.

Maybe that’s why he asked me to stand by the door.

And sit in a highchair.

Studio on Fire displayed their goodness on the West Wall. And by that I mean, Ben Levitz stood nude on a chair in front of the West Wall. It wasn’t the least bit uncomfortable. Something about the beard made him seem fully dressed.

Part II of the evening was jam-packed full of comedy. Stephen Lynch�was gracious enough to give us front row seats to his show. Um, I don’t think I’ve laughed this hard since he came to town last year. AND did you know that The Hilton grills up Steak Bites for hungry travelers after midnight? Well, they do. We ate them and laughed at Rod Cone.

Or was it the other way around?

BUT there was one thing we all could agree on: It would be better to lose an arm than have your face chewed off by a chimp.

AND never wrestle a Praying Mantis.�

Oh, and somehow during the course of the evening, this happened:

Oh, Diary… what will tomorrow bring?!

March 14, 2009
You crazy kids and your YouTube!

I know everyone is DYING to see me operating my big-ass press.

Will wonders never cease?�I love you, Internet.

March 14, 2009
COME-N-GIT YER LETTERPRESS

Shu-OOT!! It’s a letterpress extravatacularasm!! This Freitag is gonna be all monster-truck-jam but with no trucks, no face-tattoos, and no NASCAR jackets. WHAT?! How can THAT be any fun?! Don’t tell Scott Parkin but I’m planning to ride in through the double doors and right over his conference table on my pimped-out ATV.�It’s gonna kick so much ass.�

So, it’ll be ME, JEN,�MR. BEN LEVITZ … and I’m sure he’s got some sort of gun-toting design gang. I’ll be wearing a full Kevlar dress, so I’m not even worried. The thing about Kevlar is that it’s light and airy. Just like me.

So, pack your saddle-bags with hard-tack and whiskey, shave your legs, and kiss yer ma’ goodbye – you’re goin to Northeast Minneapolis. Oh, Northeast Minneapolis… so… artsy, so… much… like… Uptown… wishes… it… were… still…

::The Dirty Details::

March 10, 2009

Eyes on the Prize (Having Wonkavision)

The�New York International Gift Fair�(NYIGF) wrapped up (sans blizzard). I wasn’t there (I never am) but it must have been a huge success because our rep is faxing orders to us

faster than we can pull them.

Fax machines work just like Wonkavision and every day I hope to find a chocolate bar instead of an order.�But for now,�I must be satisfied with ink on paper.

February 6, 2012
Perspective, Passive Aggression, and Printing

I complain about January, but secretly, I love it. In January, my skin returns to its natural pasty-white color. I know this because I disrobe weekly for a quick shower and pat myself down with a damp towel. That’s not true, I also see my bare legs as I change from my pajama pants to my less-pajama-ish pants.

But enough about my enchanting facade, onto the chewy nougat:

Jen has almost finished printing the cards for our March Release.I can’t wait for her to be finished because then we can get back to all of our gabbing.

While I am forced to sit quietly with my own thoughts, I decided to be productive � I made two new cards: Guess which one will become an uncategorized orphan:

January 29, 2012
Midwinter Night’s Dream

Jen is printing the new cards for the March release and I have decided to wear the off-brand Forever Lazy suit until April 1.

The following is a dramatization of me wearing the suit.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4P1GEgYk9qM

January 24, 2012
I’m, Like, a Pretty Big Deal

But I don’t need to tell you that.

Sometimes it’s hard to stay humble. Luckily, humility is one of my greatest traits. That, and my perfect attitude and face make it difficult for everyone around me to go about their average lives.

Wait, let me throw down a little manna:

January 16, 2012
A Pigeon in My Flashing (and Other Bedtime Stories)

When Nature and Civilization collide it sounds just like stirring twelve tin cans in the bathtub with a golf club. This sound, combined with another sound�the sound of a pair of teeny-tiny hands strangling a pigeon.

I laid in bed for 1…2…3…4…5 hours and listened to, what I concluded was, a pigeon trapped behind the flashing on my house.

A squirrel met its maker (Bruce Hornsby) that same way last Summer. But not before it spent several days running itself to death. Was the pigeon luckier? It shivered in the cold until shortly before dawn. Like�the Little Match Girl, it shivered to death, clutching a clawful of burnt matches.

We have a client that needs graphics for its trucks so while I listened to the pathetic cries of the dying pigeon, I thought about that.

It was a productive night.

January 14, 2012
OMGUR4T

A surprise birthday party is 1,000% more fun than a regular birthday party. The planners plan for weeks – sending out secret invitations:

Unearthing senior photos to print on drink coasters:

And finally the moment arrives!

January 9, 2012
In January It’s So Nice

Hello, January. I hate you. Not as much as February, but I still hate you. I tell my children that you are full of fun and possibilities but I am lying.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-NOJIYe6qoI

Perhaps this card captures my true feelings:

January 7, 2012
Tribulation Consolation

Sometimes (not very often)�I find myself at a loss for words. Speechless. Struck dumb by powerful emotion.�“I’m stunned. I mean, I’m in a state of… somebody should just throw a blanket over me, you know?” – Woody Allen (Manhattan)

Sometimes an empathy card is better than a sympathy card.

Sometimes a bear playing violin says it all.

January 1, 2012
Taking (A Fearless Moral) Inventory

Jen told me that she is learning to master Quickbooks. I trust her.

I bet that the Quickbooks tutorial requires puzzle completion before you really get into the meat of the application�just to make sure the user is nimble-minded.

The New Year is upon us and to celebrate I stood on a chair, my head surrounded by asbestos wrapped pipes, and counted envelopes.Jen said this was called�taking inventory�and while I am familiar with this as a spiritual concept, with a priest and�confessional�handy, I was easily distracted because the priest and confessional were replaced by the dog and a bin of Bazooka bubble gum.These items were not on Jen’s listbut I think that was a potentially expensive oversight. Just to be on the safe side, I counted one dog named Millie and 34 pieces of Bazooka.

You’re welcome, Jen.�

December 31, 2011
Fortune Teller, Tell My Fortune

Winter has been creeping in like a gas leak and I am always pleasantly surprised to find myself awake in the morning.�

“That’s nice.”�I say, as I stretch and crawl off my sofa-bed.�Never one to miss nuance, I wonder why I’m not in my own bed.

Good design sometimes requires getting into character – I’ve been dressing like a gypsy (not showering) for our latest�Tanek�project. A paper fortune teller is easier to mail than a crystal ball and some might argue – more accurate. Tanek will send 300 of these out to their dearest friends – I only hope they take the responsibility of predicting the future seriously:

��

December 21, 2011