Zeichen Press – Page 35 – Design & Letterpress for the people.

Scatology 101

My interests are broad and highbrow � sometimes I think about zombies and sometimes I think about bowel movements.�I guess I’m not the only one.�The reaction to the�zombie card I posted on Easter�caught me off guard.

Caught me off guard like a show poodle at the dog park.�(See, I’m the poodle, and the big dirty dogs come out of nowhere and molest me).

And that brings me to bowel movements. I just realized that both of the cards�Paper Source�chose to carry are poop-related.�How childish! How jejune!

April 10, 2012
Belated Easter Cards

Something (the cat mistaking my bathroom floor for her litter box) woke me up this morning and although I completely resented being awake, I wrote three cards.

Here they are.

Don’t send me hate mail.

April 8, 2012
Duck Was Here

I was getting dressed… brushing my teeth… pulling my hair into a ponytail… looking for my wallet… looking for my keys… feeding the dog… All the while, I heard many, many ducks flying overhead.

QUACK QUACK QUACK QUACK QUACK QUACK QUACK QUACK QUACK QUACK QUACK QUACK QUACK QUACK QUACK QUACK QUACK QUACK QUACK QUACK QUACK QUACK QUACK QUACK QUACK QUACK QUACK QUACK QUACK QUACK QUACK QUACK QUACK QUACK QUACK QUACK QUACK QUACK QUACK QUACK QUACK QUACK QUACK QUACK

I thought,�“Wow… there must be like a hundred ducks… they sure quack a lot…”

I walked outside.

There was just one duck.

On my roof.

April 3, 2012
Status Updates Of Yore

�Managed to trap and skin a rat �� it will make a delicious stew AND the fur can be used to plug my empty eye-socket � the Lord doth provide!

�Does anyone know where I can find some food? My family has been living on brown bread and my old trousers for the entire Winter. Help!

�Dug such a deep pit today � grandma will surely die this Winter and the grave will be ready in Spring. #planahead

�My husband has had a fever for so long � the barber-surgeon is going to start the bloodletting tonight. Fingers crossed…

�My son is going to the�gibbet�tomorrow. 🙁

Okay, that was nice. How about a new card?

March 31, 2012
For Cheese and For My Country

Oscar Litterer lived in my house and he loved his ham radio. He loved it so much, he built a secret radio room under the stairs. I imagine he sat there night after night broadcasting his message to the moon and back. He was not alone � others really did share his passion for frequency modulation � but not in his own home. In his own home, his wife tended the peonies and their only son was devoted to the project of digging the hole in the driveway.

What a lonely life for Oscar!

When someone has a passion for something, they shouldn’t hide under the basement steps. They should open a shop and hire Zeichen Press to design t-shirts.�

March 30, 2012
Plan F

F for Fran. Plan Fran…

Ready? OK!

F-R-A-N… That spells, Fran! Yayyyy!That’s how I start every morning. A rousing cheer, followed by a�shot of micro-nutrients and a cup of coffee.�Rituals are so important.

On this particular morning, I heard my favorite sound in the world ��right after the cry of a newborn baby and right before the death-rattle of my enemies�� the fax machine.�Beep-beep-boop-beep-bip-bope-bop………..whirrrrrrrrrrr

‘Twas our first order from that paper super-power,�Paper Source! I grabbed the fax, my coffee and laptop, and headed to the warehouse. I set all three things down in front of me,�sat myself down, faced all squarely and said aloud, “Oh, this is nice.”

And to celebrate, I knocked over my coffee cup, spilling its contents all over the fax and into my open laptop.

Luckily, the dog ran in, lapped up the spilled coffee and pooped on the floor.

When is Jen coming home?

March 28, 2012

Airplane Safety Card

The trip to the Cape always begins with studying the airplane safety card.

When we land alive, I kiss the filthy airport carpeting and raise my fists in the air in triumph.

The drive from Boston to the Cape included a pit-stop for newborn-sized burritos and an impromptu visit to a little stationery store in Hingham called�social graces�- adorable! This just proves my theory that Hingham has newborn-sized burritos and little stationery stores.

The Cape is paradise, as usual – except for the E. coli outbreak – that’s Electronic coli. We had to boil our water – it reminded me of Mexico – without the drug mules. And everything else.

To be continued…

July 26, 2010
Lord of the Letterpress Flies

I remember some sort of Mexican-standoff In an early apartment�that involved my roommate, dirty dishes and refried beans.�Neither of us wanted to do the dishes and so they were stacked, teetering on the counter – pots and plates on top of other pots and plates – the bottom of the pile forgotten like a lost tribe. My roommate, a vegetarian, had a particular pot that she favored for heating her refried beans – she used this day after day until one day it was forgotten – and the pot joined the pile. But not before she filled it with water,�she believed in the pre-soak method.�I’m not sure how much time passed – a forensic scientist would be able to determine that based on the evidence in the kitchen.

One morning (or was it afternoon?) I discovered something disturbing: the kitchen windows alive with hundreds of flies. I don’t remember either of us being overly surprised. I do remember having to do the dishes in the bathtub.

There are no dirty dishes in the shop and certainly no vegetarians – and yet, I awoke to the same disturbing scene: windows alive with flies. The only conclusion that makes any sense has something to do with the devil. I’d like to believe that our printing projects aren’t evil but I guess I can’t be the judge of that.
Oh, by the way:�Before the flies,�I finished those prints for Room & Board:

July 22, 2010
Canada: You’re strange and wonderful.

So, I (meaning the Zeichen Press intern) pulled one of everything (x3) for our new Canadian reps

while I sat on the cold concrete floor and worried.�Andrea is learning so much from me.

Our new reps will be taking our goods to the the�CGTA�and from there I guess back to their ice palace. Canada is so different than America!

I found�a short list of shops�in Toronto that I imagine will soon be carrying some letterpress from Minnesota… but that’s for the reps to decide. I’m not some kind of control freak.

July 18, 2010
Sweat Shop

The shop has been a very sultry 90� for the past couple of days – which makes for nearly nude printing. The latest Room & Board project is half done and it’s looking frantastic – the ink loves the heat and lays down like a whipped dog – I also love the heat and yet I stand. And stand. I’d like to thank cold-press coffee from�Sisters’ Sludge�for helping me to keep it real.

July 15, 2010
Tortured (commercial) Artist

I need to get into character for the big Room and Board project… “WHAT’S MY MOTIVATION??!”

Backstory:

In a post-apocalyptic world, one breathtakingly beautiful woman finds herself wandering through the residential remains of South Minneapolis. She stumbles upon a letterpress print shop – it is impossibly intact. She drags her shopping cart of possessions inside and studies her surroundings. Type, ink, paper, a giant wrench and an autographed photograph of Kelly Clarkson. This is exactly like her dream – except without Abraham Lincoln. There isn’t much time before the�feral cats�find her… �But she finally has a method to preserve the dying language – at last! At long last…�

Whew! That was intense! Okay, enough screwing around – the clock is ticking and the cats are coming.

July 13, 2010
My New Computer

I lived in Uptown when Chino Latino was Annie’s Parlor and the threat of a good bus-stop knifing made my morning commute thrilling.

Alas, that Uptown is no more.

The filthy (come ON! You�know�it was filthy!!) Uptown Bar has been replaced by a giant, sparkly�Apple Store�and�the smelly Uptown Bar bouncer has been replaced with fresh-faced (sober) computer geeks. Did I shed a tear during the demolition of this�Minneapolis Institution?

No. I did not. Don’t send me hate mail.�

I loved the Uptown Bar – when I was 21. I also loved smoking a pack of cigarettes every day and getting my furniture from the Salvation Army.

I love the new Apple Store – all brushed metal and snowy white… Perfectly climate controlled, smelling of new electronics, buzzing with energy… A 30 foot-tall-wall of tempered glass keeps the noise and heat of Hennepin Avenue out and the Apple-Zen in. Machines are tethered to maple tables so they won’t float away and maybe to prevent shoplifting.

I bought one of those machines – my old machine was jealous but it was time for it to be replaced. Laptops shouldn’t cause 1st degree burns on a lap.�I know I’ve made some very poor decisions recently, but I can give you my complete assurance that my work will be back to normal. I’ve still got the greatest enthusiasm and confidence in the mission. And I want to help you.

What?! I know. My new computer would never say something like that.

July 6, 2010
Seriously??!

I’ve heard that some people use their kitchen table FOR EATING.

The squirrel came back again – this time looking for Fig Newtons.

Maybe if people (me) remember to shut the back door she wouldn’t think I was inviting her in for lunch. After I waved goodbye (screamed hysterically and jumped up on a chair) I had time to use the table for other things. : Project photographs for the new website!

I am tempted to leave my door open to see what other wildlife will enter my kitchen.

June 30, 2010
PR for Tanek, a pregnant cat and a squirrel in my kitchen

Something weird(er) is going on around here. First, we witnessed a large orange cat date-raping our little Siamese (cat) – and THEN there was a squirrel sitting at my kitchen table eating an avocado.

LATER, I drove myself (I did!) to the edge of downtown for a stand-up meeting with the managing editor for Minnesota Business* and the guys from�Tanek�and�Touchpoint. The meeting was in Touchpoint’s new (unfinished) space – which happens to be in�the building�that I imagine owning. So that’s a weird coincidence.

*The Managing Editor for Minnesota Business can be found�here:

June 24, 2010
Tater Tots, Kings Wine Bar, Letterpress, Deer John,

Let’s talk about the kitchen in my first apartment: A room the size of an airplane galley* with the bonus feature of a countertop hinged to the wall. If that countertop was not in the�lift and stow�position (just like an airplane tray-table) it wasn’t possible to open the refrigerator or the oven.

This was great incentive (for my roommate) to do the dishes. I preferred moving the dirty dishes to the living room.�*I’ve peeked in an airplane galley – it’s�usually hidden behind a curtain (that matches the drapes) – the�flight attendant�works mechanically, loading up that cumbersome cart to roll down the aisle.

The delicacies that came out of that first apartment kitchen included�(and were limited to)�chicken pot-pies and tater tots. The crisper drawer in my refrigerator contained a large amount of an herb – but that was none of my business.

Oh, but the tater tots!

Straight from the freezer and onto my cast-iron skillet: washed down with an Old Milwaukee and a Camel Lights cigarette.Whew! Did I mention I had 18 by the balls? ALSO, if I had a hankering for ribs OR pizza, I only had to walk down the stairs. That’s right, the one and only�Ribizza�fulfilled that strange combination requirement for Uptown, Minneapolis.

Exactly five minutes West of my house is�Kings Wine Bar�- a newish (rhymes with Jewish) little neighborhood restaurant. They serve�tater tots�but with sauces far fancier than ketchup. �I was there last night and there didn’t seem to be any Old Milwaukee or Camel cigarettes on the menu but somehow, after we ate our tater tots, our table was magically covered with candy.

This doesn’t have anything to do with the card I wrote/designed last night. Or does it?

June 13, 2010
Letterpress in Minneapolis

Sunday:�The Corpus Christi procession brought oodles of the Devout through Loring Park – all busses were rerouted and the Minneapolis Police department was on high alert for any shenanigans. Still, I couldn’t help but feel a little emotional as the church bell solemnly rang out and I watched Barb perform CPR on my husband.

Tuesday:�Our new intern�(Andrea Sanow)�showed up with the enthusiasm of a 22 year old girl. We love her – and we’re not just saying that because she reads the blog and is, like, the strangest mix of a Type A Personality�and�totally laid back.�What?!�It’s true. Thanks to her, I got so much done: Here are the Room & Board prints in color:

June 9, 2010