• How To Catch A Fish (Sort Of)

    By age nine, I would delicately,

    with my right hand, fold down the sharp fins of a Sunfish.

    Why? 

    So I could use my left hand to insert the rusty pliars into the gasping mouth of my catch to retrieve the swallowed hook.

    If I was lucky.

    If I wasn’t lucky, I’d stare at my motionless bobber for hours.

    *Some backstory: My older brother (third of eight) allowed me to fish with him if I did whatever he said, and didn’t cry. He was SERIOUS about fishing. I had glasses and greasy blonde hair.

    **Some backstory about the backstory: My brother was born in September, and I was already a sprouted seed in our Mom’s belly by the next Summer.

    I think I’ve used the bobber-watching metaphor before, but it is APT. Everyday, I wait for my agent to tell me to get the rusty pliars.

    Why doesn’t he ever tell me to get the rusty pliars??

    He just tells me to “hang in there.”hang-in-thereOh, back to my Mom… She has 22 grandkids. This is her with the latest:mom-and-theoHAPPY MOTHER’S DAY!

    May 9, 2014
  • Spring Cleansing and Fumigation

    I’ve heard that we are only prescribed challenges tailored to fit our deficiencies. I don’t really have any deficiencies so I’ve just been row-row-rowing my boat, gently down the stream.

    But poor Jen spent the week hunting for bedbugs (that’s what she gets for going to Turkey) that turned out to be fleas. not-a-bedbug

    It took six flea-bombs and one hijab to properly fumigate.jen-w-botox-and-hijab-new-henry-dunceDoesn’t Henry look ashamed?

    Doesn’t Jen’s forehead look youthful?? I photoshop-botoxed it! AND saved her $200.

    She’ll thank me later.

    While she was busy meeting her prescribed challenge (I pray that she learned her lesson), *I* was busy nobly accepting rejections for The Book.sample-booksEight rejections so far… twelve still unresponsive. But don’t worry about me, I LOVE waiting, and see rejection as an opportunity to grow as a person.

    SPEAKING OF MOTHER’S DAY, here’s a new card:dont-worry-mom

    May 3, 2014
  • Rage-Filled Kitten Eats Dead Master’s Face

    Is that a true story??even-birthdays-filled-her-with-rageThey wouldn’t print it if it wasn’t true.

    Sally Struthers says that for about four dollars, you can buy a Starbucks Caffé Latte Venti… In the Zeichen Press Shop, for just four dollars a day, you can bring laughter to someone who may or may not have been laughing. 

    The choice is yours.

    NOW, visit the shop to see our new release for Spring! You can buy the rage-filled kitten, the generous old woman,

    nobody-else-got-me-one-of-these

    my kind of tea party,

    I take my tea in a wine glass filled with wine. Letterpress printed on recycled paper. Comes with coordinating envelope and packaged in cellophane sleeve.

    and so much more!

    April 27, 2014
  • Farewell, Old Cards

    Jen made me pull six cards from our line.

    APPARENTLY, “they don’t sell” and don’t “make any money”.

    But since when can you put a price tag on greeting cards??

    Here are the cards, you can buy them from the shop until they are gone forever.

    FOREVER.torturegame-of-telephone-1screwedtired-of-feeling-tightnice-balldial-bThis card was also on the list, but I refused to pull it because I’m not afraid of her.thank-god-we-have-these

    April 18, 2014
  • The Answer to Life the Universe and Everything

    I turned 42 (wtf?) yesterday, received 18 drinking glasses, a scallop taco from Sea Salt, and this:opti-goblinsBUT MOST IMPORTANTLY, I sent 20 little book samples to my agent…sample-booksSo now he can go pitch them to 20 publishers.

    I imagine his conversations go something like this:

    Peter: Here’s a new little adult picture book by Fran Shea, owner of Zeichen Press in Minneapolis, maker of cards for people that like laughing.

    Publisher Person: Let me put my eyeballs back in my sockets and write you a check for $1,000,000.

    Peter: Very good.

    END SCENE.

    Oh, I also made a new Easter card. Don’t send me hate email like you did for my zombie Easter card. Jesus loves me, this I know for the bible tells me so.damn-jesus-punked-us-so-good

    April 13, 2014
  • Behind the Gate AND a New Book Title

    Jen’s back!

    Thank God.

    She said she “missed ZP soooo much!”

    ZP missed her too! To show her just how much, this rabbit (mascot) sacrificed and froze himself to the ground right in front of the gate she walks through to enter the ZP Headquarters.dead-rabbit-and-garbageALSO, I wrote/designed a new cover for my book… Kara is busily drawing pictures while I bark directions at her. I’m sure she’s already made a voodoo doll of me.

    I don’t blame her a bit.house-trained-cover-revised

    April 1, 2014
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  • A whirly-what??

    A whirly-who?

    A metalsmithing kineticist/teacher  needed a business card and we made him this:

    whirligi-business-card-whol2-450x337 whirligig-business-card-450x337

    February 16, 2010
  • Flush

    Apparently, it’s healthy to flush your gallbladder. How? A delicious nightcap: A hearty blend of olive oil and grapefruit juice. Chilled, of course.

    In the spirit of the flush – I thought I’d flush out some old designs. These designs were rejected by clients.

    Not because they didn’t like the designs but because they are just jealous of me.caesar-line-color-bar-450x434 american-dream-diamond chef-hat-american-dream-log1 ne-factory-logo-alone ne-easel-logo1

    has-legs-technicolor

    February 15, 2010
  • Step one:

    Part of the World Domination Plan involves a complete Zeichen Press website redesign. Just imagine our new logo in living, breathing, MOVING, technicolor! Oh, the anticipation dizzies me. My prop shopping list includes a wig and a man. …I guess my husband could be the man… Lord knows he’d love the attention. Especially the mouth-to-mouth resuscitation.

    My friend Fred started photographing our product line. It’s a Fair Trade – just like when the Indians traded Manhattan for wampum.

    PS: Did you know that Zeichen Press cards can be delivered right to your door? That’s right! You don’t even have to leave your house. Or your bed. Like me. What will they think of next??two-bald-men surprise-i-totally-forgot hello-is-this-the-police does-this-sandwich what-the-duck oh-kitty-where-have

    February 10, 2010
  • As we descend into the bowels of that beast called Winter

    It is February 1.

    If anyone is left please contact me. I have locked myself in the furnace room and my rations are dwindling. I am eating Panko Japanese Style Breading with a dirty popsicle stick and telling myself it’s Lik-A-Stix. Mmmmm, Lik-A-Stix…

    Somehow, I was able to make this card:sup-dawg-450x577

    February 1, 2010
  • Je m’appelle Françoise

    If I were getting married I would design and letterpress print my own invitation.

    What am I saying?? No, I wouldn’t. I don’t even send out the Christmas cards that I design and letterpress print. WHAT??!! I know. This is a blog post and a confession.

    Anyway, Minnesota Bride included  one of our wedding invitations in a nice little spread they called ”Vintage in Vogue.”

    See?

    minnesota-bride-logo-450x173mn-bride

    2. Inspired by the couple’s romantic first meeting in the city of love, designer Fran Shea blended imagery from Paris with a vintage postcard theme to create a classic yet distinctive invite. Using letterpress printing and a unique accordion layout, this design evokes an aura of chic French elegance. Zeichen Press, 612.432.1943, zeichenpress.com

    January 31, 2010
  • A roomful of Letterpress printers

    It was everything I imagined. Except better, because of the chicken shots. Yum! 

    Mary Bruno organized the event in honor of Amos Kennedy’s timely arrival. As far as I could tell, Amos is not related to THE Kennedy family. There were certain clues, like: He did not share that distinctive/made up accent or that glamorous head of hair. Also, he is black.

    Anyway, Amos was there and we hugged like old friends. There was much talk, naturally, of printing presses. Mary Bruno ended up breaking a beer bottle and using it as a weapon – apparently her “street cred” was at stake. Boy was I glad to get out of there with only minor injuries. I wish I could say the same for Jen. Please send flowers and meals to our headquarters.

    zeichen-press-hq

    Two St. Paul printers showed up : Fred Petters of Vandalia Street Press and Bill Moran of Blinc Publishing. Bill was nice. Fred ate off of other people’s plates. I could go on and on but why should I when I have this amazing photograph that perfectly captured the evening?

    half-of-titus-mary-and-amos-450x337

    January 26, 2010
  • And this is where Fran and Jen learn to use their new Heidelberg

    Oh, the joy of leaning over a giant machine that has the potential to crush my hands and create such beauty!

    I think I felt joy. Or panic? In any case, I felt some sort of feeling while leaning over the New Press. Karl (the previous owner) had explained, really clearly, the 1,000 things to know – why couldn’t I remember them?? Knobs, pulls, blades, grippers, clutch levers, friskets, sucker bars, rollers, toggles, gears, pins, springs… they all seemed to get tangled up in my mind.

    Oh, so tangled!

    Just like a rat king.rat-king

    That’s what happens when the tail of one thought gets covered in feces and the tail of another thought gets stuck to it… and the tail of another thought gets stuck to the other thoughts. It’s all very messy and usually ends up in some Dutch chimney.

    Anyway, here’s a snippet of our lesson:

    January 18, 2010
  • Vintage Indie

    This is Gabreial Wyatt —>

    gabriel-wyatt

    I think we would totally have been friends in high school. She would have called us “top-secret friends”. I was told (by my “top-secret friends”) that “top-secret friends” are better than regular friends. Sure, they don’t go anywhere in public with you, or sit next to you at lunch, or acknowledge your presence – but, that doesn’t mean anything.

    Gabreial keeps a blog about all things vintage AND indie. She interviewed me because we are such good “top-secret friends”.

    Bless her heart.

    January 13, 2010
  • Lower Case n

    tanek-logo-green

    The Tanek logo has this lower-case “n” in it that I knew I recognized from somewhere:

    January 10, 2010
  • Mrs. Meyers, Goof-Off and 2,500 pounds of love

    judy-gets-a-bathjudy-tail

    That’s what the press looks like – and I always play that song when I gaze upon it.

    January 5, 2010
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