The Craftstravaganza is o-v-e-r. And in case you missed it, Jen gave a stirring performance as Janet Jackson circa 1989 – here’s a photo I took at the event, right before she threw down her cardboard and got totally into it. 
That was really something.
Also, and I don’t know why, I made this card after the show:
Happy Mother’s Day, all you mothers!!
Jen has already packed up her cardboard for our big breakdancing number that is our “workshop” for the Craftstravaganza on Saturday at the MN State Fairgrounds.
I sewed costumes (Jen will be dressed as Janet Jackson : Rhythm Nation 1814 and I will be a butterfly). Other workshops include weavers weaving, making t-shirt necklaces, food jewelry, and yarn bombing. The yarn bombing sounds dangerous.
There will be nearly 150 vendors, so if you can’t find a Mother’s Day gift on Saturday, I can only assume you hate your mom.
My mind wandered as I listened to the Second Reading. I wondered if I could get my hands on a chocolate milk for lunch. I watched the third graders fidget. I planned my fishing-themed diorama. …Children, let us love not in word or speech but in deed and truth… I figured out what the initials TGIF stood for oh, that makes sense! …I felt something crawl up my uniform blouse.
I felt something crawl up my uniform blouse! Or did I? The question went unanswered because, like Abraham Lincoln in the balcony of Ford’s Theater, I’d been shot. Most likely, an assassination plot carried out by those boys that dumped Mountain Dew on my head last week. Oh, the pain! I signaled my teacher and was escorted to the nurses office by a girl that needed a hero badge to add to her girl scout sash.
The nurses office was familiar to me. Homesickness was an ailment I suffered from semi-regularly.
When I staggered through the door, the nurse stopped her mimeographing and looked at me. I pointed to my gunshot wound nearish my right armpit but closer to a more embarrassing region. She lifted up my blouse. I stared at the poster on the wall.
Yes, kitten. I will hang in there.
It turned out not to be a bullet lodged in my ribcage, but a bee sting.
In honor of that important event, I created my own Hang in There! card. Do not accuse me of ripping off the original, it is an homage. An HOMAGE.
I think that means Seize Mother’s Day. But maybe not – I am really only fluent in Pig-Latin.
As far as I know, we all have mothers. I don’t think Science has done away with that yet. And I’m going to boldly state that the majority of readers of the Is That Funny blog love their mothers. Why? My research shows that people who $*#%-ing love Zeichen Press also $*#%-ing love their mothers. My research involved a picture-day slideshow and ham salad sandwiches. Also, $50 bills stuffed in a pińata. It was unorthodox but revealing.
You still have time to order a Mother’s Day card (and a card for your Mother-In-Law, dear God, DO NOT FORGET HER) from the shop! We will ship it to you so you have time to send (or give) it to mom.
But, don’t let me tell you what to do. I mean, if you don’t want to celebrate your mom (OR mother-in-law!) on this one day of the year, that’s your decision. I’m sure she won’t be hurt at all. It will never be brought up again.
Once Upon A Time, there lived a woman who tried and tried to cram a live chicken into a cooking pot. The chicken would not oblige and finally the woman had to accept the notion that live chickens will never submit to such unnatural behavior. Rather than chop off the chicken’s head, they became companions and live in an abandoned mine shaft. The End
I have dozens of stories like that, just waiting to be published. That reminds me: I was trying really, really hard to write a Father’s Day card. This is what I came up with:
At brunch, George Lucas asked me to write a Father’s Day card that suggests a theme from the Star Wars Trilogy but warned me not to use any of the Star Wars imagery. It was a strange request but I accepted the challenge and after tossing back our mimosas, we arm-wrestled and I made this:
That’s where I am. Will I ever be able to get back to Minneapolis? Stay tuned.
And, just because I’m a little obsessed with the weather, I gathered some very important figures. - Record low temperatures in The United States of America:
| State | Temp. | Date | Station | Elevation |
| Alabama | -27 | Jan. 30, 1966 | New Market | 760 |
| Alaska | -80 | Jan. 23, 1971 | Prospect Creek | 1,100 |
| Arizona | -40 | Jan. 7, 1971 | Hawley Lake | 8,180 |
| Arkansas | -29 | Feb. 13, 1905 | Pond | 1,250 |
| California | -45 | Jan. 20, 1937 | Boca | 5,532 |
| Colorado | -61 | Feb. 1, 1985 | Maybell | 5,920 |
| Connecticut | -32 | Feb. 16, 1943 | Falls Village | 585 |
| Delaware | -17 | Jan. 17, 1893 | Millsboro | 20 |
| Florida | – 2 | Feb. 13, 1899 | Tallahassee | 193 |
| Georgia | -17 | Jan. 27, 1940 | Mauna Kea | 13,770 |
| Idaho | -60 | Jan. 18, 1943 | Island Park Dam | 6,285 |
| Illinois | -36 | Jan. 5, 1999 | Congerville | 722 |
| Indiana | -36 | Jan. 19, 1994 | New Whiteland | 785 |
| Iowa | -47 | Feb. 3, 1996* | Elkader | 770 |
| Kansas | -40 | Feb. 13, 1905 | Lebanon | 1,812 |
| Kentucky | -37 | Jan. 19, 1994 | Shelbyville | 730 |
| Louisiana | -16 | Feb. 13, 1899 | Minden | 194 |
| Maine | -48 | Jan. 19, 1925 | Van Buren | 458 |
| Maryland | -40 | Jan. 13, 1912 | Oakland | 2,461 |
| Massachusetts | -35 | Jan. 12, 1981 | Chester | 640 |
| Michigan | -51 | Feb. 9, 1934 | Vanderbilt | 785 |
| Minnesota | -60 | Feb. 2, 1996 | Tower | 1,430 |
| Mississippi | -19 | Jan. 30, 1966 | Corinth | 420 |
| Missouri | -40 | Feb. 13, 1905 | Warsaw | 700 |
| Montana | -70 | Jan. 20, 1954 | Rogers Pass | 5,470 |
| Nebraska | -47 | Feb. 12, 1899 | Camp Clarke | 3,700 |
| Nevada | -50 | Jan. 8, 1937 | San Jacinto | 5,200 |
| New Hampshire | -47 | Jan. 29, 1934 | Mt. Washington | 6,288 |
| New Jersey | -34 | Jan. 5, 1904 | River Vale | 70 |
| New Mexico | -50 | Feb. 1, 1951 | Gavilan | 7,350 |
| New York | -52 | Feb. 18, 1979* | Old Forge | 1,720 |
| North Carolina | -34 | Jan. 21, 1985 | Mt. Mitchell | 6,525 |
| North Dakota | -60 | Feb. 15, 1936 | Parshall | 1,929 |
| Ohio | -39 | Feb. 10, 1899 | Milligan | 800 |
| Oklahoma | -27 | Jan. 18, 1930 | Watts | 958 |
| Oregon | -54 | Feb. 10, 1933* | Seneca | 4,700 |
| Pennsylvania | -42 | Jan. 5, 1904 | Smethport | est. 1,500 |
| Rhode Island | -25 | Feb. 5, 1996 | Greene | 425 |
| South Carolina | -19 | Jan. 21, 1985 | Caesars Head | 3,100 |
| South Dakota | -58 | Feb. 17, 1936 | McIntosh | 2,277 |
| Tennessee | -32 | Dec. 30, 1917 | Mountain City | 2,471 |
| Texas | -23 | Feb. 8, 1933* | Seminole | 3,275 |
| Utah | -69 | Feb. 1, 1985 | Peter’s Sink | 8,092 |
| Vermont | -50 | Dec. 30, 1933 | Bloomfield | 915 |
| Virginia | -30 | Jan. 22, 1985 | Mountain Lake | 3,870 |
| Washington | -48 | Dec. 30, 1968 | Mazama | 2,120 |
| West Virginia | -37 | Dec. 30, 1917 | Lewisburg | 2,200 |
| Wisconsin | -55 | Feb.4, 1996 | Couderay | 1,300 |
| Wyoming | -66 | Feb. 9, 1933 | Riverside | 6,650 |
AND before we start killing and eating each other, we are entertaining ourselves by throwing boiling water into the cold air.
Why is it that the one time I leave my house something awesome happens?? Jack drove the Heidelberg Windmill down from Wahpeton, North Dakota this morning. Drove it right down to our fancy studio.
I’m in Brainerd not running around the house in my underwear and Jen is back at ZP headquarters. Who knew (Jack the mover knew) that the press was going to be delivered TODAY? Apparently, the hydraulic part of the pallet jack (not Jack the mover) didn’t love the 0°. I guess it was frozen and I’m no expert but that seems like a setback. Jen called me wondering where she could find a hair dryer. I don’t know why she wanted to style her hair but I’m not going to judge. Apparently, Jen’s beautiful hair did the trick because the new press is safe and sound in the SW corner of the shop.
Alphabetically speaking, Zeichen follows Warhol in the Room and Board dictionary. Andy Warhol and Zeichen Press sit side-by-side on the Wall Art page - I don’t want to speak for Mr. Warhol BUT I’ll bet he is thrilled with the proximity… This might be just the thing to jump-start his career… Good luck, Andy!! You weird, prolific little man!!
So, back on the R&B website – here’s what the description DOESN’T say:
Produced entirely by hand using
vintage (super old) printing equipment,
Zeichen Press creates this letterpress
design exclusively for us in their
Minneapolis studio. Actually, they call
it a studio but really it was once the
family garage – an issue that nearly
cost the owner (Fran Shea) her marriage,
and more importantly, the garage.
I mean, studio. Using a centuries-old
manual printing method, they set salvaged,
antique type by hand in limited print runs
to give the work a one-of-a-kind quality
that feels both modern and classic.
°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°
They edited that copy down to the nub! But I suppose they know best.
Have a look at these photos: GASP! They make me want to buy one of my own prints!
The Long Winter is the true tale of a Minnesota family surviving one of the most brutal Winters in our recorded history. Trapped in the house – day after day after day – the blizzard makes it impossible to see out the window or even walk out to the barn without getting lost. Good ol’ Pa rigs up a rope to follow, he is always coming up with some creative solution! Ma follows that rope because Pa finds himself trapped in a ditch by the creek. The wood pile dwindles to nothing and the family is forced to twist hay into little bundles – they would burn these in the cast-iron stove to heat their little house. … Tough, brown bread is the only food left to eat.
Or is it?
What if that was on the jacket flap? I’d totally read that book.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5SH1j1luFOw&feature=related
Gosh, that’s a scary movie! Those poor misfit toys… the choo-choo with the square wheels, the pistol that shoots jelly, the effeminate jack-in-the-box… I think the jack-in-the-box and that little dentist-elf would make a cute couple.
Okay, so I keep trying to design something to print on these FIVE THOUSAND BEVERAGE COASTERS that we have lying around. I guess no one cares about preserving the shine and luster of their finished furniture.
I think that’s barbaric.
Maybe they think it sends the wrong message? I don’t. I think it’s perfectly acceptable to booze it up through the 12 days of Christmas. In fact, it is acceptable all year round IF you set your drink on one of our beverage coasters. (Was that some sort of plug?? Yes. Here’s a link: AND here’s one I designed just for Touchpoint Retail. It has the recipe for a candy cane martini right on it. Isn’t that handy?? 
They decided to go with a card design from the Zeichen Press line but JUST TO BE DIFFICULT (I mean, sui generis.) they had us print it on an oversized SQUARE coaster. But I must admit, it’s pretty darn nice.
But I LOVE you Zeichen Press! I do. It’s just that Tanek has something (money) that you don’t have. Does that sound shallow? It’s not, I swear. It’s not just the money. They make me coffee. AND they tell me I do good work. You just sit there and take. And take and take and take – a word that comes to mind is “relentless.” But not in a bad way. Did I mention they’re architects? I know! Restaurants, retail, residential… Wait, did I mention restaurants?… Of course you had to know, the signs were everywhere. Remember when I made those Tanek paper dolls? 
Or that 4-color halftone?
Wait, that was just last week. Anyway, I’m totally NOT breaking up with you. I’m just going to be seeing them too. But that’s cool, right? Don’t be so selfish.
**Editor’s Note: What does this mean??? Zeichen Press is just doing some marketing for Tanek.
No big deal.
Just a photoshopped-four-color-halftone-letterpress-printed Christmas Card.
Jen and I were like, “Oh, that’s cool. For a Christmas card.”
WHEW! What a weekend!
First of all, Amanda came to my house to do my hair.
She did.
Shut up.
I totally care about how I look. It seemed strange to look so beautiful AND carry 500 lbs of cards from a loading dock to a folding table. But I did it for the kids. Jen and I have worked out a system of communication that really facilitates a speedy set up: Jen orders me around like some sort of slave and I stifle sobs behind my Crying Scarf.
There was another letterpress company about 10 feet away from us and we had to fight to defend our turf. Zeichen Press ended up winning because we have better dance moves and we bribed the judges with Bazooka gum.
I figured out something pretty important on Saturday morning: I look like a Sleestack.
OH! Another thing that was pretty amazing: That dapper gent from one of our new cards actually bought the card that he is on!
I love a handsome man with a wallet full of cash. (Do you hear me, Kenny?!)
Let’s see… oh, yes.. the show was jam-packed and we made gobs of moola. I mean, we spread the joy of the season through letterpress goodness.
Here’s me laughing at one of my own jokes:
And here’s Jen endlessly fussing over a display:
I almost forgot to share this bit of news: Somebody actually stole an entire stack of these:
What the???
She must be a professional stalker.
If all goes according to my master plan, 2,500 pounds of love will soon be mine.
2,500 pounds…
That’s one of these:
Or two of him:
Are you intrigued??
The new logo has been crafted of copper and is ready for printing.
…But who are those people supposed to be?? And why does the woman wear her hair as if it were 1986?? Only I know the answers to these mysteries and I have just boarded a train headed for Zermatt.
