As is custom in our culture, piñatas will be stuffed with liver sausage!
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Blog Post Meridiem
Nighttime is just like daytime but with fewer socks and more Professor Blastoff.
Who is Professor Blastoff??
Professor Blastoff is a podcast/my gateway to dreamland. Not because it’s boring! Shut your pretty mouth. But because these three comedians lull me me to sleep with their soothing silliness. How can silliness be soothing?? Just listen to it and quit judging me.
Speaking of professors, a(n) (assistant) professor (Alicia Erian) at Northeastern University (Department of English and Tomfoolery) took such a shine to Zeichen Press that she is our new (virtual) intern! Responsibilities include (but aren’t limited to): Telling me how awesome I am.
She didn’t love this next card but I still love her.
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How two women spun straw into gold at the No Coast Craft-o-Rama
In this story, the ‘straw’ is paper-and-ink and the ‘gold’ is a cash box full of cash.
If only mortgage companies and grocery stores accepted hugs and back rubs in exchange for their products and services! Alas, they do not, and so we are forced to peddle our wares.
Normally, shops around the WORLD (that’s right) peddle our goods for us, but once a year, we come out of hiding, and on horseback, to peddle our own goods at the beloved No Coast Craft-o-Rama.Is it because we love laughter and the spirit of the Holiday Season? Or is it because we love money?
Oh, the reformed Scrooge inside of me says it’s not about the money. IT’S NOT.
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See You There!
Where?
AT THE MIDTOWN GLOBAL MARKET FOR THE NO COAST CRAFT-O-RAMA!!
Directions:
1) Put on all of your clothes and coats.
2) Hitch sled-dogs to sled.
3) MUSH!!
4) Do ALL of your Holiday shopping. And eating.
Is there a better way to embrace the Holiday season??
NO.
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Halls (Of The Midtown Global Market) Will Be Decked With Such Goodness
There is always SO MUCH TO DO this time of year! Jen has to print and fold about a million cards and I have to sit still so my daughter can do my nails.
Yes, those are adorable pandas. And yes, that is stigmata.The No Coast Craft-o-Rama has an amazing line up this year (as usual), there is Miss Amy Jo, Adam Turman, glass|wares, Cosmo’s Collars, Moss Love Terrariums, Oh Dier, Soup Hunter Guitars, and… so… much… MORE!!
SO, bring your money and your eyeballs and get ready to check everyone off your Christmas list! AND send a belated Chanukah card (is that a thing??)
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Eight Days of Thanksgiving
Postable asked me to create a card that celebrates a very rare occurrence: Thanksgiving and Hanukkah falling on the same day. I don’t know much about the Jewish Faith but I think that means eight days of leftovers.
This mash-up won’t happen again for another 77,000 years.It’s true.
In other news… Jen and I will celebrate Thanksgiving the way we always do: in period costume. Twist: Jen will be dunked in the dunking chair until she confesses to being a witch.
Happy Thanksgiving!
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Not technically a birthday card
BUT a card to celebrate a birth. A birth card? Be bold, new mother! Send out a stack of these and you send out a statement: Don’t mess with me or my baby.
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St. Frances
I nearly took that martyr shortcut last night. Jen drove her teeny-tiny Honda and our brand-new printer got to ride shotgun while I sat in the back with Loretta.
She was very busy screaming sweet nothings in my ear, while Jen was trying to drive with an 80 pound boxed laser
printer resting gently on her right hand, her rear-view mirror tilted helpfully at the ceiling. She wasn’t applying make-up so I guess she didn’t really need it. I told Loretta that she was lucky because the last thing she’d ever see was my face. She screamed louder and I handed her my iPhone. Sometimes Jen would ask me if it was “safe” to switch lanes. I always told her yes because in the grand scheme of things isn’t it always safe to switch lanes? We actually made it home. I kissed the ground. Loretta screamed and cried goodbye and they drove away.
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“dial B for Birthday”
I’ve set a goal for myself. 25 birthday cards by January 1. Patina wants more birthday cards and dammit they are going to get more birthday cards. Why am I sucking up to that cutesy pootsy boutique? Because I LOVE IT. Oh, how I love it… If Patina carried a coffin, I would kill myself just to be buried in it.
Here’s a new card. – Designed on the computer, soon to be a plate, soon to be inked, soon to be part of our illustrious line.
By the way, I AM counting the Trader Joe’s rejects in my 25. So, 25-8=17. I used a calculator. Seriously.
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It’s Christless time!
Time for more corporate holiday cards! My Big Brother owns Tanek, the coolest (of course) architectural firm in the Midwest. Every year they ask us to bring some of our freshest (dopest) designs to their table. We drop whatever we’re doing (eating) and hop to. This year I’ve created a couple of things:
The humor is subtle. Just like me.
I think this one should have been chosen last year:
But no. It was voted down. Apparently the Tanek Leaders didn’t want to be seen in their fictional underpants. Prudes.
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Is that a fax?
Hot Damn! We finally picked a sales rep! A first-rate group of gals (there is a guy in the group that reps Iowa but he’s on a sort of hiatus – sorry Iowa) that will spread the Zeichen Love across this frigid, northern land. Minnesota, Wisconsin, North Dakota, and South Dakota. I’ve actually never been to North or South Dakota… In fact, I’m not even sure they exist. I’d like some sort of proof. Anyway, our fax machine has been ringing off the hizzle with orders – our biggest so far: Kowalski’s Markets. I love Kowalski’s and I’m not just saying that. My ice cream melts in the cart while I wander around like a free-range chicken. (Before the farmer kills it and Kowalski’s sells it and I eat it. Mmm, delicious.)
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Can I be nicer?
I guess that last round of cards I did for Trader Joe’s were tossed into the “maybe” pile for being “too snippy, irreverent, and sarcastic”. That would hurt my feelings if I wasn’t made entirely of gears, microchips, and ice. I figured I better try again. I thought, “what would a nice person want to say to another person that they actually cared for? How can I help facilitate some positive communication that may otherwise be forever unspoken due to awkward shyness or maybe even because of some sort of speech impediment. What if someone has simply taken a vow of silence? I will be their voice.” (Didn’t that totally give you chills? I know, I KNOW. That was totally unrehearsed.) Here are the nicer cards for Trader Joe’s: (Will they be nice enough? Stay tuned.)
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Let’s Cozy Up, Kelly Clarkson
Umm, the Target Center was a strange, strange place last night. So many jewel encrusted tank tops and hoodies… I felt out of place in my Witch Costume. My friend, Melissa Peterman rocked the house with her comic stylings. To thank her for setting up a meet-n-greet with Kelly and Reba, I made her a set of these:
I was disappointed that Kelly and Reba didn’t arrive on horseback. I did allow them to take a picture with me. An act, I feel, was very much appreciated by both of them. They were thrilled to meet me and asked me all sorts of questions about my lifestyle.
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Bad Catholic Mutha’
They say this cat Shaft is a bad mother SHUT YOUR MOUTH! I’m talkin’ ’bout Shaft. THEN WE CAN DIG IT!
Brrrrrrrr. Um, brrrrrrrrr. Something (snow) tells me summer is over. I had a VERY busy weekend, there was Kelly Clarkson, then a bunch of stuff, then Don Draper. Oh, yes – I managed to squeeze in a design/letterpress project.
Some Bad Catholic Mothers of OLG (hardcore acronym: Our Lady of Grace) asked me to design a book cover for their Tell-All Confessional. Thanks to Boxcar for their perfect plate and thanks to all you Bad Catholic Muthas out there for your indiscretion and moral ambiguity.
