Zeichen Press – Page 46 – Design & Letterpress for the people.

Leather and Milk and Meat

Every few weeks�Paper Source�orders the same poopy cards from us.This makes us happy because there is no faster way to evangelize than through a chain of shops that snakes its way through the country.

Our message?�

Isn’t it obvious by now? Spread (our idea of) letterpress goodness and joy like spackle into every dark crevice on this planet.

No big deal.

This card:has nothing to do with fecal matter and so we were surprised (and delighted) to see it on our latest Paper Source order.

Perhaps the following dream was a premonition?:

There were no toilets�� but there was a shower scene. The light over the C&Phad become a shower head and I had become naked. I prayed that nobody would walk through (why didn’t I just lock it?) the shop door while I took my unnecessary (and might I add: gratuitous?) shower next to my printing press.

But someone�did�walk in.

I guess his name is Vincent Schiavelli. He was hiding behind the Heidelbergwith his cow. He wasn’t smiling. I woke up.

The End

August 5, 2012
We want to be more than just friends with: Yankee Ingenuity (Chatham)

Yankee Ingenuity�-> 525 Main Chatham, MA 02633

ANOTHER profile in that special series dedicated to bringing our readers biased reviews of shops that carry our goods.

I love a Main Street.

Someday, I will criss-cross this great nation in my (fictional) pick-up with my (fictional) Pocket Pomeranian and my (fictional)) beat-up Polaroid � snapping photos, capturing the quirkiness, the uniqueness, of each Main Street. These will make a great coffee-table book. A companion to my (fictional)�Public Bathrooms Across America�Book.

The Queen of Main Streets is in Chatham, Massachusetts. Cape Cod. New England’s Main Streets look like movie sets and Chatham’s Main Street is so adorable it should be wrapped in a blanket and burped.

Yankee Ingenuity�carries Zeichen Press cards, so it seemed polite to pay them a visit.(Notice my friend,�Andy. Notice his t-shirt.)

Once inside, my Attention Deficit Disorder became acute and I put on my horse blinders.

I made my way to the counter and had a nice chat with the owner � she told me that her husband (an amputee) LOVES:I bet because of the tricorn hat.

There were so many delightful treasures � here are a few that jumped out at me:

I would like a set of eight.

A shark puppet would help me work through my fears.

These little banks would help me save for my criss-crossing America road-trip.

That was fun. I mean, that was hard work.�Do I have to hate something to write it off as a business expense?

July 28, 2012
Unseasoned Traveler

There were three things needed for airplane travel with a group of (Shea) children (in the 1970’s):

1) Hubba Bubba

2) Mad Magazine

3) Air Sickness Bags

I don’t think there was ever a flight that didn’t involve one (or more) of us vomiting. Because of this, we quickly located our air-sickness bags in the front seat pockets before seat belts were even fastened.

My parents pretended they didn’t know us.

It was shameful (and a relief) to hand your vomit-filled bag to the stewardess. In those days, the airline logo was proudly emblazoned on each bag.�But no more.�Today, the bag is white! Who wants to throw-up in a white bag?

Not me.

I designed a bag that I can’t wait to get in front of the bigwigs at SunCountry. They’ll love it.

Our #1 Fan�just joined us on The Capeand I’m so glad he’s not a serial killer. He’ll be here for a few days and then we’ll have to say goodbye. I really, really hate saying goodbye. I hate it so much, I made a card:

July 20, 2012
Shaaawwwp Chedahhh

Well, here I am, back on The Cape for some Rest & Relaxation. Sharks are the big news out here

(sorry,�Andy) so I sent the kids right out into the ocean.I told them that we need to make clam chowder and clams don’t clam themselves � so get to work.

I believe the following card captures the feeling of every citizen on our planet:Why would I send that card/who would want to receive a card like that?

Um, I don’t know your friends and I’m guessing we all have at least one unabomber in our lives.

July 14, 2012
Is This Party Time?

If Zeichen Press were a train, Jen would be the rails. She keeps the train going smoothly down the track, she keeps it from careening off �� plowing into innocent townspeople. This analogy makes me the conductor � sweaty, with a cheek full of chewing tobacky and a headful of dreams.

Every Summer, Jen dumps her two boys off at Camp � she makes a thorough list.

But this year was going to be extra-special! SHE was going to dump the boys and hop on a plane for her�very own vacation.�I’m sure�her�list was thorough and her suitcase was packed perfectly. I’m sure she left nothing out and measured all liquids to meet TSA requirements.

She forgot one thing:

But this year was going to be extra-special! SHE was going to dump the boys and hop on a plane for her�very own vacation.�I’m sure�her�list was thorough and her suitcase was packed perfectly. I’m sure she left nothing out and measured all liquids to meet TSA requirements.

She forgot one thing:

July 10, 2012
iFran 1.0

Twice a year Zeichen Press releases a batch of new cards. Twice a year Jen and I hold a top-secret meeting in the Zeichen Press Headquarters and discuss which cards should be included in the release. Decisions are made, tears are shed, hair is pulled.

Printing took place this week and, luckily, the temperature hovered around 97�.�Jen loves printing in a sauna.�I stayed in the shop while she printed, it was an act of solidarity and I’m sure it did not go unnoticed. I sat on one of the metal stools because I wanted to experience what it was like to sit on a stove-top.

There are more top-secret meetings/fist-fights during the printing process. We need to decide which color paper to print the card on and (hold onto your hats) which color envelope to pair with the card.

Should it be a Green Apple envelope or a Berrylicious envelope?? These are tough decisions but we have to make them.

And don’t think that you could just do what we do, it takes nerves of steel and hearts of gold.

Here are the new cards: These are so amazing, they may melt your faces:

July 6, 2012

Not technically a birthday card

BUT a card to celebrate a birth. A birth card? Be bold, new mother! Send out a stack of these and you send out a statement: Don’t mess with me or my baby.

November 27, 2008
The Grinch and Me

For your amusement:

November 23, 2008
St. Frances

I nearly took that martyr shortcut last night. �Jen drove her teeny-tiny Honda �and our brand-new printer got to ride shotgun while I sat in the back with Loretta.

She was very busy screaming sweet nothings in my ear, while Jen was trying to drive with an 80 pound boxed laser

printer resting gently on her right hand, her rear-view mirror tilted�helpfully�at the ceiling. She wasn’t applying make-up so I guess she didn’t really need it. I told Loretta that she was lucky because the last thing she’d ever see was my face. She screamed louder and I handed her my iPhone. Sometimes Jen would ask me if it was “safe” to switch lanes. I always told her yes because in the grand scheme of things isn’t it always safe to switch lanes? We actually made it home. I kissed the ground. Loretta screamed and cried goodbye and they drove away.

November 22, 2008
“dial B for Birthday”

I’ve set a goal for myself. 25 birthday cards by January 1. Patina wants more birthday cards and dammit they are going to get more birthday cards. Why am I sucking up to that cutesy pootsy boutique? Because I LOVE IT. Oh, how I love it… If Patina carried a coffin, I would kill myself just to be buried in it.

Here’s a new card. – Designed on the computer, soon to be a plate, soon to be inked, soon to be part of our illustrious line.

�

By the way, I AM counting the Trader Joe’s rejects in my 25. So, 25-8=17. I used a calculator. Seriously.

November 19, 2008
It’s Christless time!

Time for more corporate holiday cards! My Big Brother owns Tanek, the coolest (of course) architectural firm in the Midwest. Every year they ask us to bring some of our freshest (dopest) designs to their table. We drop whatever we’re doing (eating) and hop to. �This year I’ve created a couple of things:

The humor is subtle. Just like me.

I think this one should have been chosen last year:

But no. It was voted down. Apparently the Tanek Leaders didn’t want to be seen in their fictional underpants. Prudes.

November 12, 2008
Is that a fax?

Hot Damn! We finally picked a sales rep! A first-rate group of gals (there is a guy in the group that reps Iowa but he’s on a sort of hiatus – sorry Iowa) that will spread the Zeichen Love across this frigid, northern land. Minnesota, Wisconsin, North�Dakota,�and�South Dakota. I’ve actually never been to North or South Dakota… In fact, I’m not even sure they exist. I’d like some sort of proof. Anyway, our fax machine has been ringing off the hizzle with orders – our biggest so far: Kowalski’s Markets. I love Kowalski’s and I’m not just saying that. My ice cream melts in the cart while I wander around like a free-range chicken. (Before the farmer kills it and Kowalski’s sells it and I eat it. Mmm, delicious.)

November 11, 2008
Front Page News

Patriotic Duty

November 6, 2008
Can I be nicer?

I guess that last round of cards I did for Trader Joe’s were tossed into the “maybe” pile for being “too�snippy, irreverent, and sarcastic”. That would hurt my feelings if I wasn’t made entirely of gears, microchips, and ice. I figured I better try again. I thought, “what would a nice person want to say to another person that they actually cared for? How can I help facilitate some positive communication that may otherwise be forever unspoken due to awkward shyness or maybe even because of some sort of speech impediment. What if someone has simply taken a vow of silence? I will be their voice.” (Didn’t that totally give you chills? I know, I KNOW. That was totally unrehearsed.) Here are the nicer cards for Trader Joe’s: (Will they be nice enough? Stay tuned.)

November 3, 2008
Let’s Cozy Up, Kelly Clarkson

Umm, the Target Center was a strange, strange place last night. So many jewel encrusted tank tops and hoodies… I felt out of place in my Witch Costume. My friend,�Melissa Peterman�rocked the house with her comic stylings. To thank her for setting up a meet-n-greet with Kelly and Reba, I made her a set of these:

I was disappointed that Kelly and Reba didn’t arrive on horseback. I did allow them to take a picture with me. An act, I feel, was very much appreciated by both of them. They were thrilled to meet me and asked me all sorts of questions about my lifestyle.

October 28, 2008
Bad Catholic Mutha’

They say this cat Shaft is a bad mother�SHUT YOUR MOUTH!��I’m talkin’ ’bout Shaft.�THEN WE CAN DIG IT!�

Brrrrrrrr. Um, brrrrrrrrr. Something (snow) tells me summer is over. I had a VERY busy weekend, there was�Kelly Clarkson, then a bunch of stuff, then Don Draper. Oh, yes – I�managed to squeeze in a design/letterpress project.

Some Bad Catholic Mothers of OLG (hardcore acronym:�Our Lady of Grace) asked me to design a book cover for their Tell-All Confessional. Thanks to�Boxcar�for their perfect plate and thanks to all you Bad Catholic Muthas out there for your indiscretion and moral ambiguity.

October 27, 2008