Zeichen Press – Page 5 – Design & Letterpress for the people.

Being Eaten By Monsters Is Not So Funny

My older brothers had a bunk bed, my little brother had his own bed and my sister and I shared a queen-sized bed.

We also shared countless hours of strange bedtime rituals: she would put on her school uniform (white blouse and brown plaid jumper) and pull her nightgown over it � that was for early morning efficiency… I would skip the uniform step and go right to the nightgown.

I was so slow!

She would coat her arms in Elmer’s Glue,

I would dress and redress Raggedy Ann.

I don’t know if she shared my fear of the monster under the bed.

No, what am I saying?�She did not. In fact, she created the fear!

Siblings can be so cruel.

April 1, 2013
Local Woman Not Kidnapped By Craigslist Poster

PHEW!

My Faith in Humanity was fortified! I bought a�tripod from a stranger on Craiglist and he�made no mention of kidnappng, torturing, OR skinning me.

Now I can stumble my way through taking photographs of the new cards!

The Craigslist man assured me (three times) that the tripod was the “real deal” so that should help.

March 23, 2013
The Widow’s Walk

She waited.

Pacing the widow’s walk, praying for his ship to appear on the horizon, her view of the sea uninterrupted from her perch.

But no!

And who but those onboard could know the truth � was it a storm? Pirates? Mutiny?

Or was it The Kraken?

March 15, 2013
Left, Left, Lefty, Right-o Left, Right

That’s the sound that March makes � that and a muffled sobbing.�February triggers cabin fever but March in Minnesota is far more dangerous.

Here’s a story about March:�One Christmas, Santa put a baby albino rabbit under the tree ��so delightful!�

The little rabbit grew into a big rabbit and by the next Winter, our basement smelled like the bunny barn at the State Fair. With scraps of wood and a bale of hay, I built an outdoor rabbit hutch.

In a pinch, it could serve as a coffin for an adult man.

IN A PINCH.

By March it was buried under several feet of snow and I’d order my eldest to go spend time with the rabbit in the snow coffin.

The moral of the story is: Get a dog.

And something about March creating crazy. Thank God I have an outlet for my March crazy:

March 8, 2013
Vocabulary Quiz And Card Celebrating Angry Parents

My high school English teacher told the class that if we looked up the word ‘glib’ in the dictionary, there would be a picture of me.

She was right!

I think I felt insulted.

I’m sure Jen’s high school English teacher said something similar about her.

And if not, she should have.

What does this have to do with angry parents or a new card?

Obviously, my glibness was not celebrated at home. In fact, it was frowned upon ��can you believe it?!�

And Jen’s reckless behavior?? You’ll have to ask her about that… I mean, pregnant at 19?! What was she THINKING?! (Wait, that was me?? We need to hire a fact checker.)

February 26, 2013
Oh, Great.

Look who I found in front of Zeichen Press HQ!

First the squirrels and then the bear�AND NOW THIS?!

February 21, 2013

MORE LOVE

Like a chicken, I am cooped up in my house… Day after day after day, longing to be free-range. I busy myself with cat photographyand new designs for�RSVP.�Which will be�chosen for Valentine’s Day 2017?? Stay tuned…

February 20, 2016
Serious Business

Nothing could come between a girl and her Etch A Sketch in 1981.NOTHING.

Just look at that tight-lipped concentration…�LOOK AT IT.Maybe I was creating a message for my mom? Or a beautiful design? Or a note to my brother begging him to stop slowly poisoning my parakeet and calling me Oot Head.

WHO KNOWS?

My Etch A Sketch has been replaced with 10,000 pounds of letterpress equipment, a laptop, and Jen. (Sorry, Jen.)

Here’s a new Valentine’s Day card… Lead type and an antique cut can barely compare to the magic of my childhood.

February 9, 2016
Sugar and Spice

Sandwiched between Woodworking IIand tanning�booths at�Golden�Tan�in�the Richfield Hub�(Um, Off-Campus�Study HalI),was a class called�Printmaking.�*Actual linocut carved while under Sr. Bernardine’s tutelage.�

Maybe I should thank Sr. Bernardine (‘s grave) for opening my mind to all things print-related?

Inspired by that lil’ puppy:

January 31, 2016
Boots and cats and boots and cats and boots and cats

Oh, wouldn’t I look smart in my new floral, lightly quilted, Guinnea Sax dress and ivory blouse! The thin silk ribbon under my collar tied so prettily… Real leather open-toe sandals with cuffed socks actually MATCH MY BLOUSE… Eleven years old and I just knew I already had the world by the shanks. THE SHANKS.�

First Picture Day at my new school was going to change everything! Sure, I spend nights in bed carefully drawing miniature Black Stallions in the margin of my diary. And sure, I rarely brushed my stick-straight blonde, center-parted, mom-cut hair. But I was pretty sure I looked like Sissy Spacek,�circa 1973.With backpack securely fastened over both shoulders, I proudly marched through the alley-entrance onto the school playground/parking lot.

WHAT’S THIS?! The girls/my classmates are wearing Guess Jeans�and white t-shirts!My heart sank.

And they burst out laughing at the very site of me!HOW COULD THEY?! THE AGONY! Thank God my call home from the nurses office only resulted in my mom coaxing me to stay at school long enough to have my picture taken, otherwise there wouldn’t be this evidence. THANK GOD.

~Dedicated to the cool kids~…And someday�I’d enact my telekinetic revenge…�

January 22, 2016
Urban Hermitage

Discovering Instacart might change my life.These modern services enable my dwindling desire to engage with the outside world.

IN JANUARY. IN MINNESOTA.

And why should I leave my house when Millie the Dog is learning to speak Human?

If only the shop were actually connected to my house.Just look at that commute! Ridiculous.

Or… inspiring? It must be inspiring because I made this.

January 14, 2016
Post-Epiphany -OR- Crime Solving By Proxy

January has already been SO busy. I don’t know about Jen, but�I’ve�had to take a really active role as a listener/watcher.

First this:�(Sherlock!)

And then this:�(Serial Podcast: season 2!)

And now THIS?? (Making A Murderer, brought to you by the good folks at Netflix�and�Men’s Wearhouse!)

It’s a lot to keep track of…�I’m taking notes if anyone needs them.

Don’t ask me how (DON’T ASK ME), but I was able to squeeze in one card:

January 8, 2016
Sort of an Epiphany

I’m pretty sure it was our Jewish neighbor (and�not�Santa Claus) who put our presents�under the tree when we were at Midnight Mass.

I�got a globe.But I�barely�remember that! I�barely�remember crying�and sulking in my bedroom! Because this was the�Lord’s day,�not mine!

Merry Christmastime, everyone!

December 31, 2015
All The Attention

If only they would stop their playing and look over at me… Why is MY friend even playing with my stupid brother???… Maybe if I�wave my arms and jump higher on this strangely super-tall bed in our basement… No, that didn’t work… Hold on… I’ll just climb down and drag over that chalkboard to lay flat on the floor because it looks more like water than the off-brown linoleum… Perfect… Now, I’ll roll over the large black, rubber inner-tube we float on at the lake… Just plop it right on top of the chalkboard… Looking good… Ok… NOW, I’ll climb back up on the bed and jump some more…

“LOOK AT MEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!”

I�hysterically�scream, while diving face-first into the center of the�inner-tube.So much blood. So many tears. And my friend was sent home??? WHY MOM, WHY?!

December 23, 2015
Chuckle.

December 21, 2015
GULP! We Are In The Washington Post??

Feeling�pretty�fancy over here�because�The Washington Post�picked up the�Religion News Service article! (Is that how it works?? See? TOO fancy for me!)

But, obviously, not as fancy as Dinah.

December 16, 2015