Now that the temperature has dropped to depressing lows, I’ve turned to TLC reruns for comfort. …My Strange Addictionis the best thing on television… Why wouldn’t I gorge myself on other people’s dysfunction?
But enough about women addicted to drinking their own urine. Here’s a card about perspective.
It’s easy!
Old folks like Misao Okawa credit their longevity to poached eggs and whiskey.
Oh, I can do that.
We’ve had some big orders come in froma shop in Oslo… I’ve been trying to figure out how they heard of Zeichen Press…
Here’s how:If you take a running start, and are a good swimmer, you can get to Oslo from Denmark, and Denmark is just Germany’s top hat… And Germany, as you know, is the birthplace of Gutenberg.
Andof letterpress… Right? LETTER press??ZEICHENPress?? Clearly ZeichenPress is synonymous with letterpress in that part of the world. All they had to do was google letterpress to find this:
There you have it.
Mystery solved.
TakkLiebling.
Oh, clearly they speak English, but I don’t speak Norwegian and that’s where the interweb comes in handy:
Translator says:
Class dismissed.
I knew it!
Mawage.
Mawage is wot bwings us togeder tooday. Mawage, that bwessed awangment, that dweam wifin a dweam…
According to TMZ, Kanye and Kim just got engaged.(Awww).Kanye rented out a baseball stadium, hired an orchestra to play Kim’s favorite song, got on one knee and presented her with a 15 carat diamond ring.
Is that all?
I think the space shuttle is rentable. So is Lana Del Ray. And so are all of the South African diamond mine workers.
I expect more from Kanye.
I’ll send him this card.
There has been much debate and fury over genetically modified food.
But what about genetically modified children?
WHAT ABOUT THAT??
PS: I wrote this blog post on my iPhone because I despise easy things.
Thank you,Religion News Service, forappreciatingthe ho-ho-Holiday-humdrum-hole-filling. 
And thank you, Dinah the Cat, for understanding the true meaning of Christmas.
And you’re right, you should be in the new Christmas card.
Oh,No Coast Craft-o-Rama… You never let us down!
TheMidtown Market’s halls were decked and bedazzled with all things Holiday… And handmadegoodness was traded for cold-hard-cash.
The Zeichen Press Empire is always draped in black fabric because black is slimming.
Here’s a new Christmas card/fantasy?:
TheNo Coast Craft-O-Ramais TODAYand tomorrow(December 4th and 5th) and Jen has been feverishly printing in preparation.
She must have been too busy to notice my new woodpile!
Come see all of the Holiday Goodies at theMidtown Global Markettoday Jen will be giving out free hugs with every purchase!
Once Upon A Time,my sister got the stomach flu so bad. Poor thing… up in the middle of the night… every bit of food evacuating her body post-haste. Who knew the colon could churn and transform loose stool into clearliquid? Well, my brother found out when he sleep-stumbled into the bathroom and slipped and skated on the translucent trots that never made it into the toilet-bowl.
See? Analogy. Our gratitude just pours out of us! It’s almost like a medical condition.
To “give back”, we are hosting Macy’s Thanksgiving Parade!
Tune in!
**An Open Letter to Alexis Stewart:
Dear Alexis Stewart,
If you want to be friends with me, just ask. You don’t need to buy all of your Christmas and birthday AND Mother’s Day cards from me.
Friends Forever,
Fran
—
Whew! I’m glad I got that out of the way! Thanks toMail Chimp, our email-blast campaign was full of success.
Wanna know whatMother’s DaycardMartha Stewartis getting in 2016???
I’LL NEVER TELL!!!
Does my IQ have to be higher to understand Sci-Fi films?? 
As the credits rolled for Interstellar, I whispered, to myself,“whaaat???”Maybe I should have taken 100 classes to prep me? All of that technlogy and time-talk made me wish I was working on the new Zeichen Press catalog that Jen so agressively marked-up.
I’LL GET TO IT. As soon as I finish rewatching Mad Men.
And while I’m (not) doing that,The Intern
isgallivanting about in Italy like some sort of hippie. Well, let’s just see if you have a studio to come home to. (OMG, I’M KIDDING. Please come home. And bring us souvenirs.)
“WHY DIDN’T I THINK OF THAT??”
~Fran Shea
These cardsstopped me right in my (dog) poop-covered tracks:
Let’s be friends,Emily McDowell.
Too needy?
Dinah always makessucha big deal about choosing paper and envelope color for a new release.
First, she has Jen print a card:
And then she does this:
She is such a taskmaster.
Greeting cards would be better if they were huge. And I could wipe my feet on them.
And what better way to spread the Good Word of Zeichen Press than by emblazoning it upon the doormat ofevery doorstep for every home throughout the land?
High Cottonmakes lots of things, for lots of people. And now they will make doormats for us. I mean,for you.They’ll make doormats for you. Designed by us.
…El Nio.I know I’m supposed to be cursing Climate Change… I KNOW.
But how can I curse when meteorologists are predicting awarmer-than-usualwinter??
I must embrace the phenomenon the way a mother embraces her wayward son.
IN OTHER NEWS, Jen and I chose 12 cards for the next release using darts, a cardboard cutout of Steve Buscemi, and our first-aid kit.
Here’s a teaser:
And because I always plan ahead, here’s a new Father’s Day card: