• Craftstravaganza Review/Doppelganger Evidence

    The day began with a single, tissue-wrapped banana-lovingly prepared by the May Day Cafe.

    It’s all about the details.

    From there it was a regular thrill-ride down 35W. Sometimes when Jen drives, I close my eyes and scream The Lord’s Prayer. Jen tries to shut me up by stuffing buttermilk scones in my mouth. I do a lot of praying when Jen’s around. Dear God, please help me not to crush Jen’s toes with a case full of lead type.

    The Craftstravaganza was more fun than usual. Everything is more fun with darts. We sold lots of stuff, here’s Jen practicing her smile:

    Jen!!

    After I took this photo, I backed into Pevenshire Wiffynuts.

    Mr. WiffynutsPevenshire Wiffynuts Letterpress printed on recycled paper. Comes with coordinating envelope and packaged in cellophane sleeve.Needless to say, my mind was blown. With barely a moment to recover, Two Bald Men came to our table. I fainted and hit my head. To wake me up, Jen threw a cup of hot coffee at my face. She should be a nurse.

    Two Bald MenCheer up, you could be two bald men. Letterpress printed on recycled paper. Comes with coordinating envelope and packaged in cellophane sleeve.

    May 3, 2009
  • Oh, sweet affirmation!

    Jennifer Sbranti IS the Hostess With The Mostess.

    Don't mess.

    That’s a fact. If I lived in San Diego I would crash her parties, she would be like, “WHAT?! YOU again? Take off that wig and crawl back under the gate.” She wrote a little something about Zeichen Press on her blog today. To thank her, I am writing a book entitled, 1001 Ways to thank Jennifer Sbranti.

    Is that weird?

    May 1, 2009
  • Celine Dion at the Craftstravaganza!!!

    I’m totally kidding. Wouldn’t that be awesome though? I was picturing her at Bergan’s Grocery Store this morning… standing with her microphone –  between the Rug Doctor Rentals and the helium balloons… Singing like it’s a Saturday Night in Vegas. Oh, Celine! Shopping would be a pleasure with your angelic voice wafting through the air, mingling with deli-smells – My heart would go on.

    The Craftstravaganza? Right. We will be there with 55 of our closest crafting friends. When I say, “crafting” don’t think about toilet paper cozies, kleenex box cozies, toaster cozies, and toilet brush cozies. Don’t. I’m not judging the ladies that make things cozy, I’m just wondering why everything needs to be so cozy. Okay, DO think about hand-made goods. GOODS. I’d even call them hand-made greats. See how I am? See how I roll? You know it.

    craftstravaganza09poster-download1

    Going to the State Fair Grounds off-season is like bumping into your teacher at your dentist’s office. What the hell are YOU doing here?! You’re not supposed to leave school! Your teeth aren’t real!!

    See you on Saturday my Best Beloved. Bring your wallet. And your mom.

    April 25, 2009
  • Creek-Bike & Room & Board

    The ice on the creek melted and it was time, again, for the Creek-Garbage-Opener! Our tackle box contained exactly two things: a giant hook (the Kitchen-Aid-bread-dough-attachment) and 50 feet of obsolete ethernet cable.  The catch-of-the-day was larger than usual and after  a nail-biting struggle, this was pulled  out:

    Creek-Bike

    It smells like death but it’s ours. 

    What does any of this have to do with Room & Board?

    Ugh. It’s so obvious. 

    So anyway, we gave our prints to Room and Board and we’re waiting to hear what the President & Vice President think. Personally, I don’t think they really needed to take it to that level. Obama is a busy fellow. Here are a couple things they liked:

    Big gray typeWood type

    Wanted Poster Type

    April 17, 2009
  • Must…write…more…cards………………

    There seems to be something gnawing on the chicken-bone of my subconscious. Not just gnawing, but dipping it in creamy, blu-cheese dressing and sucking on it.

    Thank goodness for the wet-nap, or whatever is doing the gnawing would contaminate the rest of my psyche. I like my non-physical parts to be separate. Like a melamine hot-lunch tray. Everything stays within it’s little-walled-area and nobody gets fussy.

    Unfortunately, or maybe not, there does seem to be some breach in the Dreaming ~ Day Dreaming compartments. Sandbagging might help. Or a thick, mashed-potato partition – the mashed potatoes finally living up to their destiny.

    Great writers are great ruminators but great ruminators are not necessarily great writers. I think that’s what I’m talking about. Or was I talking about my days in the cafeteria? Ah, the cafeteria…“Lunch Lady? Would you mind being careful to keep the gravy in its… No? Yes, you’re right. It all ends up in the same place…”  In the toilet. Which is, of course, a metaphor. That’s what happens when you give children mixed-messages.

    So, anyway. I have a growing collection of printer’s cuts and for some reason I feel compelled to give each of them something to say. I realize that the New Yorker’s Caption Contest is eerily similar to what I do. Except I always win. That’s the nice thing about owning the company. Thatand the hugs I get from complete strangers. Why do strangers hug me? They might be trying to squeeze the life out of me. I’m not sure. They tell me not to resist – I’m always like, ”Resist? Resist what? Who am I to stifle this bizarre act of love?”

    Where was I? … Right. A line I wrote for a lonely cut:

    Sorry.

    PSSST,

    are you coming to my funeral?

    April 11, 2009
  • Franimals: A-Z!!

    Should a grown woman spend the day in bed drawing animals?

    No? What if the animals are super-cute and made entirely of her favorite font? What if the woman was very ill, clinging to life by a bed-thread? What if… what if… oh, what if… oh, my bed-sores… Without further ado, Franimals:

    copyright: do you feel me??

    A-J Franimals were originally designed for Room & Board. Sadly, they were overlooked. Apparently kids today aren’t interested in “animals” or “alphabets” That’s not Room & Board’s fault. Or…is…it?

    ANYWAY, I love Room & Board. Sometimes I break into their showroom and rehearse scenes from Failure to Launch starring Mr. Matthew McConaughey.

    Matthew! Your mischievous smile… your love for Mother Earth… your shirtless-ness…

    What am I talking about? Oh, yes. My fever. It’s very high and I wouldn’t turn down a copy of Erin Brockovich and some German Spaetzel.

    April 9, 2009
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  • Oh, YOU again.

    I’m not sure if he was gently curb-stomped, or he bit into a fresh apple. Either way, he lost his front teeth.happy birthday no nailed it

    October 8, 2015
  • Stamp-Lickin’ So You Don’t Have To

    Do you fantasize about a service that would lick your stamps (and mail awesome cards to a list of people in your address book)??

    YOU DO??

    Have you heard of Postable??

    POSTABLE logopostable grab how it worksDid I mention that there are Zeichen Press cards in their line?? (NOT letterpress printed, BUT STILL.)Merdankcias postableprinting and mailing circle tenderlyNow there really is zero excuse to NOT send a card IN THE MAIL.

    *Stay tuned: Postable will be adding MORE Zeichen Press cards this week.*

    WAIT, I didn’t mention the most important part:

    September 28, 2015
  • Groucho Marx + Turkey = FUNNY

    Hoohoo! I’m laughing already!

    More for RSVP:rsvp.revised.turkey where

    September 19, 2015
  • WOOT.

    Does Jen hate letterpress printing SO much that I have to create and license all of the art and farm it off to art licensing companies??

    Maybe.

    The latest for RSVP:rsvp.weird honeymoon.front and inside.grabrsvp.woot.front and inside.grabI know one thing for sure. ONE THING. Jen would really hate to print these multi-colored designs. She makes me live in a monochromatic world. But see how I defy?? FIVE colors??

    FIVE.

    And now they want more cards! FINE.rsvp.chanukah.sneeze.front and insideI’m such a rebel.

    September 12, 2015
  • So NOT Letterpress

    Tanek demanded a new website, and who am I to argue?? tanek. index page.harvestor grabI just do what I’m told.

    I designed/art directed it and the good folks at Carney, made my wishes their command.I dream of JeannieObserve the fancy bells and whistles!

    Rollovers… PDF Downloads… Video Portraits…

    And observe what you WON’T observe: My own, personal, Content Management System.tanek CMS grabIt’s okay to cry. It’s beautiful.

    September 7, 2015
  • Tradition Dictates So I Don’t Have To!

    Did I even see Jen on her birthday last week??

    Hmm, I don’t think so… But I still made her a card because my love for her just bubbles over and soils the stovetop with a sort of gravy that becomes crusty and has to be scraped off months later with steel wool and maybe a knife.

    Whew!

    That’s a lot of love!CATSUPGET IT?!?! CAT-SUP???

    Omg, it just doesn’t stop over here!

    August 30, 2015
  • Put a Cat On It

    Do you need to sell something? You do??

    PUT A CAT ON IT.kitty sweatshirtThat sweatshirt is not to be worn ironically and can be yours for a mere $65.

    But really, it’s not even realistic. What sort of galaxy is full of white kittens and multi-colored roses??

    And where’s the wine and unicorn??

    All of those adorable kittens in space DID inspire a graduation card. Don’t ask me why. DON’T ASK ME.may the road rise to meet you.better

    August 23, 2015
  • What’s A Gal Gotta Do??

    Oh, *I* know!BE BOLD PRINT

    No problem.
    August 13, 2015
  • BE A WOMAN

    Don’t tell Blockbuster Video, but I still have a VHS copy of Alive in my attic. Alive screen grabI just love survival dramas. *I* survived the heat last week, it was pretty dramatic… But I ate no one, despite feeling very hungry. To celebrate, the Intern and I set some type.BE bold lock upAND THEN I wrote/designed more cards for RSVP, deadline is TOMORROW. rsvp.snail mailNo big deal. Chosen card(s) just go into the Major Supermarkets.

    August 2, 2015
  • ART Licensing

    ART, I say!

    ART!

    RSVP asked me for some new art, SPECIFICALLY for 16th birthdays, BUT stay away from the subject of driving?

    Um, ok.

    How about the subject of dog poop?rsvp.dont step inI KNOW this is a derivative of MY OWN card.dont step inAND a card I made for ANOTHER Art Licensor. Recycled Paper Greetings.

    They also asked for some Wedding Cards… Maybe I’ll say something about flatulence, MAYBE I WON’T.

    July 24, 2015
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