That’s right! Scientists have analyzed data and determined that it’s extra cold.
Now I feel even less bad for never leaving my beanbag nest with fireplace view.
I gave up working-out and have adopted a restorative yoga practice. This particular pose is called Corpse.
Note the Winter coat. My character froze to death on the prairie.
ANYWAY. I can act like this now because I’m an eccentric writer with A LITERARY AGENT.
28 pages down, 12 to go…
I started getting acupuncture this week
because my qi [chee] is obviously messed up. And, everyone knows, it is impossible to write a book with messed-up qi [chee].
A BOOK?!
I’m writing A BOOK!! Remember??
It’s one of the four things I talk about, so it should be easy to remember.
But, what are the other three?
1) Bacon
2) Rat-kings
And 3) My new nephew
Here’s a card that explains everything:
Right??
Two important things happened this week:
1) It was so cold that I never left the house.
IT FELT LIKE -49°.
OKAY, cover your ears: THAT’S BULLSHIT.
All I could possibly do is sit in front of the fire with my companion, Tib The Cat.
Oh, yeah, and here’s number
2) I GOT A LITERARY AGENT.
You heard me.
The Steinberg Agency they rep people like Tim Gunn and Cris Carter. NO BIG DEAL.
They want a 40-page picture book for adults…
*I* like pictures.
I can make that book.
Here’s a teaser/the cover OF MY BOOK.
I heard a story about a Minnesota fur trader.
Tromping through the snow in seasonably cold weather, sans Northface winter gear and, more importantly, SANS Smartwool socks he found his feet to be frozen solid. Frozen like a forgotten chuck roast buried under the pile of pizzas and popsicles.
What did he do?
Simply dragged his body through the snow until warmish accommodations were reached, asked the hardy men in the room for an awl, punctured his feet, and had those same hardy men pour brandy over his numb tootsies.
There. Feet saved.
I didn’t write a card about that. (I’m sure I will.) Here’s something more lighthearted:
2013 was a doozy!
I daydreamed with such intensity!
Such intent!
Such fervor!
And I can’t speak for Jen (just kidding, I will. Right now.) but I’m pretty sure she has been on pins and needles JUST WAITING for cards from me in her inbox. (Between the printing, billing, and shipping.)
I also can’t speak for The First Intern, and now The Virtual Intern, but I will say that their lol’s have fueled my asbestos-covered furnace.
So, as I sit here, wearing layers of long underwear, under an Indian blanket (soaked in smallpox), staring out the window… I am beyond grateful for the ladies that make Zeichen Press more than just a daydream.
And now I’m all choked up!
But enough of that!
Christmas is SO two days ago and that leaves me wondering what to do with the rest of winter.
Should I:
A) Take up a winter sport, like: crying? Or swearing? Or punching the air?
B) Write/design cards about this wonder-filled season.
I choose both!
Madge The Intern and I wore our Burger King© crowns and spent the day printing.
Does Madge look different??
So serious.
Zeichen Press was invited to join other Notorious Letterpress Printers and contribute to The Smallest Museum In St. Paul. Don’t pretend you’ve never thought about turning an empty firehose cabinet into a tiny museum.
Action shots:
I was pretending to be a mouse with a camera I think Madge was scared/intrigued.
The (petite) Opening Reception is August 1, from 2-4 at Workhouse Coffee Bar.
Ive observed the greedy, groping limbs of an Octopus on television.
I SEE YOU, OCTOPUS.
I SEE YOUR SELF-INDULGENT, FLESH-LIKE, SUCTION-COVERED BOUGHS, BUMPING ALONG THE OCEAN FLOOR.
Sea Creatures are on my mind because Im back in Barnstable. 
Ah, Barnstable. How is it possible for the sunsets to always fill me with awe, the hammock to always fill me with peace, and people to always fill my belly with booze on the deck overlooking the Great Salt Marsh?
ITS A TOUGH LIFE.
Oh, BOTHER!
One more kitten needs adopting.
AND how about this card?
BECAUSE ALL I EVER THINK ABOUT IS CATS.
Help. Me.
Kids (like mine) graduated last week,
houses were open, cards (stuffed with money) were given… And I realized, THESE KIDS NEED THANK YOU CARDS.
And always the giver, I made this:
I forced my son to read this handy blog post about proper thank you note writing.
You’re welcome.
LAUGHING THROUGH OUR TEARS
WE HAVE NEW CARDS!
TWELVE OF THEM!
Meat suits,
tuna-filled mice,
hungry wolves.
Tib mouthed these words while she nursed her latest brood:
To-morrow, and to-morrow, and to-morrow,
Creeps in this petty pace from day to day,
To the last syllable of recorded time;
And all our yesterdays have lighted fools
The way to dusty death.
Out, out, brief candle!
Life’s but a walking shadow, a poor player,
That struts and frets his hour upon the stage,
And then is heard no more.
It is a tale Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury,
Signifying nothing.
Do you see what I’m working with here??
She just gives and gives AND GIVES.
Ah, suckle away…
But, what IS boing boing??
JUST AN AWARD-WINNING ZINE, BLOG AND DIRECTORY OF WONDERFUL THINGS.
And a mention from them made me almost choke to death on my pb&j.
(That’s Gareth‘s door. And peephole.)
Need your own card?? BUY HERE!!!
Treehaus -> 3153 Glendale Blvd. LA, CA 90039
ANOTHER profile in that special series dedicated to bringing our readers biased reviews of shops that carry our goods.
AM I BIASED because Meesh (SP?!) said I was her favorite person?? TREEHAUS IS THE BEST SHOP EVER CREATED. There. I said it. What’s done is done. She has spoken.
I will visit you Treehaus… someday… And on that day, people’s hearts will be filled with gladness and their mouths will proclaim the goodness of all things boutique.
The weather is (finally) nice and that means the shop is open!
Like, LITERALLY, open.
I observed Jen scurrying about (just like the mice we had to poison last year) while I took photos of The New Cards. Here’s a teaser:
