Sandwiched between Woodworking II
and tanning booths at Golden Tan in the Richfield Hub (Um, Off-Campus Study HalI),
was a class called Printmaking. 
*Actual linocut carved while under Sr. Bernardine’s tutelage.
Maybe I should thank Sr. Bernardine (‘s grave) for opening my mind to all things print-related?
Inspired by that lil’ puppy:
Oh, wouldn’t I look smart in my new floral, lightly quilted, Guinnea Sax dress and ivory blouse! The thin silk ribbon under my collar tied so prettily… Real leather open-toe sandals with cuffed socks actually MATCH MY BLOUSE… Eleven years old and I just knew I already had the world by the shanks. THE SHANKS.
First Picture Day at my new school was going to change everything! Sure, I spend nights in bed carefully drawing miniature Black Stallions in the margin of my diary. And sure, I rarely brushed my stick-straight blonde, center-parted, mom-cut hair. But I was pretty sure I looked like Sissy Spacek, circa 1973.
With backpack securely fastened over both shoulders, I proudly marched through the alley-entrance onto the school playground/parking lot.
WHAT’S THIS?! The girls/my classmates are wearing Guess Jeans and white t-shirts!
My heart sank.
And they burst out laughing at the very site of me!
HOW COULD THEY?! THE AGONY! Thank God my call home from the nurses office only resulted in my mom coaxing me to stay at school long enough to have my picture taken, otherwise there wouldn’t be this evidence. THANK GOD.
~Dedicated to the cool kids~
…And someday I’d enact my telekinetic revenge…
Discovering Instacart might change my life.
These modern services enable my dwindling desire to engage with the outside world.
IN JANUARY. IN MINNESOTA.
And why should I leave my house when Millie the Dog is learning to speak Human?
If only the shop were actually connected to my house.
Just look at that commute! Ridiculous.
Or… inspiring? It must be inspiring because I made this.
January has already been SO busy. I don’t know about Jen, but I’ve had to take a really active role as a listener/watcher.
First this: (Sherlock!)
And then this: (Serial Podcast: season 2!)
And now THIS?? (Making A Murderer, brought to you by the good folks at Netflix and Men’s Wearhouse!)
It’s a lot to keep track of… I’m taking notes if anyone needs them.
Don’t ask me how (DON’T ASK ME), but I was able to squeeze in one card:
I’m pretty sure it was our Jewish neighbor (and not Santa Claus) who put our presents under the tree when we were at Midnight Mass.
I got a globe.
But I barely remember that! I barely remember crying and sulking in my bedroom! Because this was the Lord’s day, not mine!
Merry Christmastime, everyone!
If only they would stop their playing and look over at me… Why is MY friend even playing with my stupid brother???… Maybe if I wave my arms and jump higher on this strangely super-tall bed in our basement… No, that didn’t work… Hold on… I’ll just climb down and drag over that chalkboard to lay flat on the floor because it looks more like water than the off-brown linoleum… Perfect… Now, I’ll roll over the large black, rubber inner-tube we float on at the lake… Just plop it right on top of the chalkboard… Looking good… Ok… NOW, I’ll climb back up on the bed and jump some more…
“LOOK AT MEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!”
I hysterically scream, while diving face-first into the center of the inner-tube.
So much blood. So many tears. And my friend was sent home??? WHY MOM, WHY?!
Madge The Intern and I wore our Burger King© crowns and spent the day printing.
Does Madge look different??
So serious.
Zeichen Press was invited to join other Notorious Letterpress Printers and contribute to The Smallest Museum In St. Paul. Don’t pretend you’ve never thought about turning an empty firehose cabinet into a tiny museum.
Action shots:
I was pretending to be a mouse with a camera I think Madge was scared/intrigued.
The (petite) Opening Reception is August 1, from 2-4 at Workhouse Coffee Bar.
Ive observed the greedy, groping limbs of an Octopus on television.
I SEE YOU, OCTOPUS.
I SEE YOUR SELF-INDULGENT, FLESH-LIKE, SUCTION-COVERED BOUGHS, BUMPING ALONG THE OCEAN FLOOR.
Sea Creatures are on my mind because Im back in Barnstable. 
Ah, Barnstable. How is it possible for the sunsets to always fill me with awe, the hammock to always fill me with peace, and people to always fill my belly with booze on the deck overlooking the Great Salt Marsh?
ITS A TOUGH LIFE.
Oh, BOTHER!
One more kitten needs adopting.
AND how about this card?
BECAUSE ALL I EVER THINK ABOUT IS CATS.
Help. Me.
Kids (like mine) graduated last week,
houses were open, cards (stuffed with money) were given… And I realized, THESE KIDS NEED THANK YOU CARDS.
And always the giver, I made this:
I forced my son to read this handy blog post about proper thank you note writing.
You’re welcome.
LAUGHING THROUGH OUR TEARS
WE HAVE NEW CARDS!
TWELVE OF THEM!
Meat suits,
tuna-filled mice,
hungry wolves.
Tib mouthed these words while she nursed her latest brood:
To-morrow, and to-morrow, and to-morrow,
Creeps in this petty pace from day to day,
To the last syllable of recorded time;
And all our yesterdays have lighted fools
The way to dusty death.
Out, out, brief candle!
Life’s but a walking shadow, a poor player,
That struts and frets his hour upon the stage,
And then is heard no more.
It is a tale Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury,
Signifying nothing.
Do you see what I’m working with here??
She just gives and gives AND GIVES.
Ah, suckle away…
But, what IS boing boing??
JUST AN AWARD-WINNING ZINE, BLOG AND DIRECTORY OF WONDERFUL THINGS.
And a mention from them made me almost choke to death on my pb&j.
(That’s Gareth‘s door. And peephole.)
Need your own card?? BUY HERE!!!
Treehaus -> 3153 Glendale Blvd. LA, CA 90039
ANOTHER profile in that special series dedicated to bringing our readers biased reviews of shops that carry our goods.
AM I BIASED because Meesh (SP?!) said I was her favorite person?? TREEHAUS IS THE BEST SHOP EVER CREATED. There. I said it. What’s done is done. She has spoken.
I will visit you Treehaus… someday… And on that day, people’s hearts will be filled with gladness and their mouths will proclaim the goodness of all things boutique.
The weather is (finally) nice and that means the shop is open!
Like, LITERALLY, open.
I observed Jen scurrying about (just like the mice we had to poison last year) while I took photos of The New Cards. Here’s a teaser:
