Zeichen Press

Tag: Cape Cod

  • We want to be more than just friends with: Yankee Ingenuity (Chatham)

    Yankee Ingenuity-> 525 Main Chatham, MA 02633

    ANOTHER profile in that special series dedicated to bringing our readers biased reviews of shops that carry our goods.

    I love a Main Street.

    Someday, I will criss-cross this great nation in my (fictional) pick-up with my (fictional) Pocket Pomeranian and my (fictional)) beat-up Polaroid snapping photos, capturing the quirkiness, the uniqueness, of each Main Street. These will make a great coffee-table book. A companion to my (fictional)Public Bathrooms Across AmericaBook.

    The Queen of Main Streets is in Chatham, Massachusetts. Cape Cod. New England’s Main Streets look like movie sets and Chatham’s Main Street is so adorable it should be wrapped in a blanket and burped.chatham-main-street-map

    Yankee Ingenuitycarries Zeichen Press cards, so it seemed polite to pay them a visit.yankee-ingenuity-andy(Notice my friend,Andy. Notice his t-shirt.)

    Once inside, my Attention Deficit Disorder became acute and I put on my horse blinders.

    I made my way to the counter and had a nice chat with the owner she told me that her husband (an amputee) LOVES:i-miss-youI bet because of the tricorn hat.

    There were so many delightful treasures here are a few that jumped out at me:yankee-ingenuity-food-face

    I would like a set of eight.

     

    yankee-ingenuity-puppetsA shark puppet would help me work through my fears.

    yankee-ingenuity-banksThese little banks would help me save for my criss-crossing America road-trip.

    That was fun. I mean, that was hard work.Do I have to hate something to write it off as a business expense?

  • Unseasoned Traveler

    There were three things needed for airplane travel with a group of (Shea) children (in the 1970’s):

    1) Hubba Bubba

    2) Mad Magazine

    3) Air Sickness Bags

    I don’t think there was ever a flight that didn’t involve one (or more) of us vomiting. Because of this, we quickly located our air-sickness bags in the front seat pockets before seat belts were even fastened.

    My parents pretended they didn’t know us.

    It was shameful (and a relief) to hand your vomit-filled bag to the stewardess. In those days, the airline logo was proudly emblazoned on each bag.But no more.Today, the bag is white! Who wants to throw-up in a white bag?

    Not me.

    I designed a bag that I can’t wait to get in front of the bigwigs at SunCountry. They’ll love it.

    instruction-yes-no-use-this

    Our #1 Fanjust joined us on The Capefran-andy-cape-cod-smallerand I’m so glad he’s not a serial killer. He’ll be here for a few days and then we’ll have to say goodbye. I really, really hate saying goodbye. I hate it so much, I made a card:purple-goodbye

  • Shaaawwwp Chedahhh

    Well, here I am, back on The Cape for some Rest & Relaxation. Sharks are the big news out here

    shark-on-cape-kayak

    (sorry,Andy) so I sent the kids right out into the ocean.sitting-ducksI told them that we need to make clam chowder and clams don’t clam themselves so get to work.

    I believe the following card captures the feeling of every citizen on our planet:i-am-disturbed-and-yet-intriguedWhy would I send that card/who would want to receive a card like that?

    Um, I don’t know your friends and I’m guessing we all have at least one unabomber in our lives.

  • SHARK!!!

    The morning coffee brought big news:
    Swimmers spotted four Great White Sharks on the beach in Chatham. Wait, let me be clear: Not ON the beach – in the water. Swimming around …and around … and around.Some would call that circling – orbiting their prey, slowly moving in for the flesh-ripping, limb-tearing, feeding-frenzy. But I’m not here to give sharks bad press – that’s already been done – I’m just trying to help you,the reader, understand the everyday danger that is my life. I risk it all to bring you,the reader, a good story.
    sharks-seen-near-shore-450x428
    So, off we went up the coast. Past Chatham, to Wellfleet. Wellfleet, where there is no swimming ban. God forbid we miss a beach day because the “Coast Guard” spotted some 12′ sharks. The Atlantic called us and it would be rude to ignore the call – we had to dive right into the water like good-natured guests.
    edmund-in-cahoon-hollow
    A seal joined us – not more than 15 feet from shore. If he were walking on land he’d be limping… I don’t know what that’s called in the water. Drowning?
    mr-seal-450x330
    Oh, Seal! Do you rememberour meeting last year? I do. It was magical. Last year, I had to swim ever so far – my legs dangled 100 feet above the ocean floor – they were like little noodles hanging off the end of a fork, ready to be swallowed up by the sharks. This year, you bob seductively near shore… it would be effortless to get to you. But I won’t do it because I am sensible and also I saw this
    coast-guard-450x272
    hovering overhead. A sure sign that somebody is looking for sharks. I said, LOOKING FOR SHARKS. We decided that building sand castles is pretty fun.

  • Airplane Safety Card (continued)

    After a harrowing day at the beach, I had to stop into theBrewster General Store

    brewster-store-450x428

    to check out their card selection – one thing is clear: they might have enough rubber lobsters but theydoneed some letterpress from Minnesota. I will see what I can do about that.

    A day at the beach always includes:yellow-bucket-450x427

    That poor thing has been around for such a long time.

    bucket-on-millway-450x426 yellow-bucket-anthony-will-lucy-450x337 betsy-ross-and-bucket-450x343 washington_crossing_delaware-bucket-450x285

  • Airplane Safety Card

    The trip to the Cape always begins with studying the airplane safety card.
    screwed-still-screwed-2
    When we land alive, I kiss the filthy airport carpeting and raise my fists in the air in triumph.
    The drive from Boston to the Cape included a pit-stop for newborn-sized burritos and an impromptu visit to a little stationery store in Hingham calledsocial graces- adorable! This just proves my theory that Hingham has newborn-sized burritos and little stationery stores.
    The Cape is paradise, as usual – except for the E. coli outbreak – that’s Electronic coli. We had to boil our water – it reminded me of Mexico – without the drug mules. And everything else.
    To be continued…
    barn-on-commerce-450x427 cobb-hill-2010-450x427

  • TOPLESS WOMAN MOLESTED BY LOCAL SEAL

    Wellfleet, Massachusetts

    A Minneapolis woman dove into the icy Atlantic Monday morning in an attempt to “meet a seal”.
    Assuring onlookers that the attempt was an “act of diplomacy” she swam a distance of approximately 50 yards using a stroke known as theDog-Paddle. She met the 350 pound Harbor Seal unaware that the top of her two-piece bathing swimsuit had become untied and dropped to her waist. The woman is reported to have said that the seal reacted to the introduction like “some sort of wild animal” … “His flippers were all over me.”