Zeichen Press

Tag: letterpress blog

  • Custom Customer & Choirs of Angels

    Now that my fireplace is ready for Winter,fire-fall-2016

    Jen can finally print Holiday cards for our favorite custom customer.akustiks-chase-lock-up Akustiks is a fancy company of acousticians who design the architectural acoustics for theaters and concert halls.must-enjoy-winter-for-akustics

    And, correct me if I’m wrong, but a group of acousticians were actually hired by God to assure the residents of Bethlehem that His choir of angels sounded better than some music pouring out of the earbuds crammed in my earholes.

    Despite my lo-fi circumstances, I created a new card. Only 38 shopping days till Christmas!

    hark4

     

  • House Calls

    Sometimes your web developerkelly-living-room-cropped

    has to come over and gnaw on bricks (gluten-free scones) and discuss dogs wearing sweaters so your mobile site can function properly.

    TECHNOLOGY.

    And Jen loves meetings because she’s a social butterfly jen-living-room

    and craves attention. Oh, Jen! When will it be enough??

  • Post-Epiphany -OR- Crime Solving By Proxy

    January has already been SO busy. I don’t know about Jen, but I’ve had to take a really active role as a listener/watcher.

    First this: (Sherlock!)

    sherlock-pipe

    And then this: (Serial Podcast: season 2!)

    serial-soldier

    And now THIS?? (Making A Murderer, brought to you by the good folks at Netflix and Men’s Wearhouse!)

    steven-avery

    It’s a lot to keep track of… I’m taking notes if anyone needs them.

    Don’t ask me how (DON’T ASK ME), but I was able to squeeze in one card:

    we-come-bearing-gifts-2

  • Seeing Spring on the Dualistic Spectrum

    Farewell my Wintertime Prison… Springtime is the amnesty hors d’oeuvre and reminds all (in these Northern climates) of the duality of nature.

    See the flattened squirrel on the bike path? (Why is it SO flat on a bike path? WHY??)flattened-squirrelAnd see the lilacs in full bloom? (DO YOU??!! Face-meltingly beautiful…)lilacs-from-dining-room-windowHmm, people also think about baseball in the Spring? Right? How about a congratulations card for the bros?a-great-sports-metaphor

  • Sympathy/Empathy Cards

    (((flashback)))

    My husband was on a business trip, and that meant it was time for one or more of the kids to get the stomach flu. Because we love tradition, the youngest barfed in her own bath water. While I was cleaning that up, and not to be outdone, the middle one inhaled and regurgitated his macaroni & cheese right back on the plate.

    The older one slunk away.

    While I was cleaning that up, and unbeknownst to me, the cat coughed up a slimy hair-ball. I stepped on it (barefoot).

    While I stood on one foot, crying, the dog came over and licked it up.

    The Endwalked-a-mile

  • How To Catch A Fish (Sort Of)

    By age nine, I would delicately,

    with my right hand, fold down the sharp fins of a Sunfish.

    Why? 

    So I could use my left hand to insert the rusty pliars into the gasping mouth of my catch to retrieve the swallowed hook.

    If I was lucky.

    If I wasn’t lucky, I’d stare at my motionless bobber for hours.

    *Some backstory: My older brother (third of eight) allowed me to fish with him if I did whatever he said, and didn’t cry. He was SERIOUS about fishing. I had glasses and greasy blonde hair.

    **Some backstory about the backstory: My brother was born in September, and I was already a sprouted seed in our Mom’s belly by the next Summer.

    I think I’ve used the bobber-watching metaphor before, but it is APT. Everyday, I wait for my agent to tell me to get the rusty pliars.

    Why doesn’t he ever tell me to get the rusty pliars??

    He just tells me to “hang in there.”hang-in-thereOh, back to my Mom… She has 22 grandkids. This is her with the latest:mom-and-theoHAPPY MOTHER’S DAY!

  • Spring Cleansing and Fumigation

    I’ve heard that we are only prescribed challenges tailored to fit our deficiencies. I don’t really have any deficiencies so I’ve just been row-row-rowing my boat, gently down the stream.

    But poor Jen spent the week hunting for bedbugs (that’s what she gets for going to Turkey) that turned out to be fleas. not-a-bedbug

    It took six flea-bombs and one hijab to properly fumigate.jen-w-botox-and-hijab-new-henry-dunceDoesn’t Henry look ashamed?

    Doesn’t Jen’s forehead look youthful?? I photoshop-botoxed it! AND saved her $200.

    She’ll thank me later.

    While she was busy meeting her prescribed challenge (I pray that she learned her lesson), *I* was busy nobly accepting rejections for The Book.sample-booksEight rejections so far… twelve still unresponsive. But don’t worry about me, I LOVE waiting, and see rejection as an opportunity to grow as a person.

    SPEAKING OF MOTHER’S DAY, here’s a new card:dont-worry-mom

  • Rage-Filled Kitten Eats Dead Master’s Face

    Is that a true story??even-birthdays-filled-her-with-rageThey wouldn’t print it if it wasn’t true.

    Sally Struthers says that for about four dollars, you can buy a Starbucks Caffé Latte Venti… In the Zeichen Press Shop, for just four dollars a day, you can bring laughter to someone who may or may not have been laughing. 

    The choice is yours.

    NOW, visit the shop to see our new release for Spring! You can buy the rage-filled kitten, the generous old woman,

    nobody-else-got-me-one-of-these

    my kind of tea party,

    I take my tea in a wine glass filled with wine. Letterpress printed on recycled paper. Comes with coordinating envelope and packaged in cellophane sleeve.

    and so much more!

  • Farewell, Old Cards

    Jen made me pull six cards from our line.

    APPARENTLY, “they don’t sell” and don’t “make any money”.

    But since when can you put a price tag on greeting cards??

    Here are the cards, you can buy them from the shop until they are gone forever.

    FOREVER.torturegame-of-telephone-1screwedtired-of-feeling-tightnice-balldial-bThis card was also on the list, but I refused to pull it because I’m not afraid of her.thank-god-we-have-these

  • The Answer to Life the Universe and Everything

    I turned 42 (wtf?) yesterday, received 18 drinking glasses, a scallop taco from Sea Salt, and this:opti-goblinsBUT MOST IMPORTANTLY, I sent 20 little book samples to my agent…sample-booksSo now he can go pitch them to 20 publishers.

    I imagine his conversations go something like this:

    Peter: Here’s a new little adult picture book by Fran Shea, owner of Zeichen Press in Minneapolis, maker of cards for people that like laughing.

    Publisher Person: Let me put my eyeballs back in my sockets and write you a check for $1,000,000.

    Peter: Very good.

    END SCENE.

    Oh, I also made a new Easter card. Don’t send me hate email like you did for my zombie Easter card. Jesus loves me, this I know for the bible tells me so.damn-jesus-punked-us-so-good