Tag: Minnesota

  • Countdown or Tally

    Is Spring really here?

    Not sure…

    Let’s pretend it is. Let’s let me live in a world filled with hope! My obsessive weather-tracking (hourly checking my weather app) has proven to be successful.

    It won’t be long before smartwool socks are shed and (my) legs are shorn.

    Stay tuned…

    Here are a couple cards I made instead of penning a suicide note.

    (Graduation)you mathed so hard(Encouragement)shit creek grab

  • Eating My Weight In Vegetables

    Did you know that the Arboretum has a pick-your-own vegetable garden? The signs were more intuitive than posted.smuggling-vegetables

    My latest health craze (the last one turned out not to be a “health” craze) promises an upward trajectory of boundless energy and crisply firing synapses. Kale, spinach, green chard, cucumber, celery, lemon, parsley, and apple in one glass.

    In one glass.

    I’ve learned that a bagful of smuggled kale equals one thimbleful of juice.

    One thimbleful.

    I wonder how many ounces I would be if I were juiced. Note to self: Juicing bodies would make them easier to flush down toilet.

    Look at these beautiful Dahlias and forget everything I just said:anenome-dahliasunburt-dahliaWeren’t those lovely?

    All of the flowers and vegetables inspired a Father’s Day card:papa-grayer

  • Alright, back to work

    Fran Shea’s résumé

    °°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°

    1988-1988 (Nov. 1-Dec 23) Lyndale Garden Center

    My first job. Silly me, I heard “making Christmas wreaths” and thought I’d be “making Christmas wreaths.” Pre-made wreaths were heaped onto a lunch table – my job was to choose the sprigs for the wreaths. “Sprigs” was an industry term for cheap Christmassy crap.

    *christmas_wreath
    1989-1989 (Sept. 1-Sept 15) Pearson’s Family Restaurant

    I bussed tables and was told to clear as much of the table as would fit in the gray bin. It would have been very satisfying if I were training to be a power-lifter. Two weeks was too long.

    1989-1990 (Oct. 1-March 1) Leeann Chin, Richfield

    As a server, I wore a little white hat and jacket. Like a chef. A disgruntled, panicked, 17-year-old chef.

    1990-1990 (June 1-Aug. 15) GJ’s SuperValu

    A block walk from my apartment above Ribizza – this job required speed and superhuman strength. Bagging groceries during a “rush” filled me with doubt and indecision – eggs before bread or bread before eggs?? Should I take my smoke break now??

    1990-1990 (Sept. 1-Nov. 1) Telemarketing for the Special Olympics

    I don’t even know how I found this job – it was in a bland office in a bland office building on University Avenue.  The script we were handed was written in the 1950?s and we were supposed to offer lots of garbage bags in exchange for donating to the Special Olympics. Our boss was, I think, Bob Saget.*sagetphoto04b
    1990-1991 (Nov. 15-Jan 15) Meyer’s Bakery

    A job that required cash register skills. I’d rather wash old peoples bottoms than use a cash register – I’d try to push customers into buying things that would result in even dollar amounts so I wouldn’t have to make difficult change. Three cookies? Why not four?… Two loaves of bread? Why not two loaves of bread AND a cookie??

    Fast Forward—>

    1993-1996 : Carney Studio

    The interview went something like this:

    “So, you want to be a graphic designer?”

    “A what?”

    “You’re hired.”

    1996-1997 : Odney Advertising

    This is where I learned about advertising. And stealing office supplies.

    1997-present : Stay At Home Mom

    This is where I learned about cleaning up poop.

    2006-present : Owner of Zeichen Press

    The culmination of a life-long set of painfully acquired skills.