Category: World Dominance

  • Safe To Molt Now

    Has Science gone too far?

    Days and nights blurred as the scientist toiled alone well, not exactly alone his companions (experiments) lived in a collection of cages. His laboratory (pronounced:lah-boooar-atory) was nestled between the Russkoe Slovo Bookshop and the hydro-electric plant in Krasnoyarsk.

    His mission?

    To create super-species. Behold his first success… and his new friend:monkey-kitten-photo-2Well, congratulations Doctor Hvorostovsky!

    And now on to my creations:

    (not nearly as controversial)i-bike-bluesometimes-i-cry

  • Such Strong Language

    But how can I be tame when I am thrust into such an atmosphere?weatherI have only one thing to say:

    curse-this-curse-vert

  • Purgatorio di Pesce

    That sounds delicious!

    If Spring would come I wouldn’t be forced to sit here and email sell sheets to hundreds of newspapers around the country.wrapped-in-bacon-sell-sheetI won’t complain about the weather because that’s about as interesting as listening to someone list their health problems. But I WILL say this:

    If I lived in Hawaii, there’d be no Zeichen Press.

    See, I can always find the blessing in disguise.a-blessing-in-disguise-blueOh fine, here’s a new card inspired by the endless Winter:purgatory-red

  • Always Winter but never Christmas (or Spring)

    The woman gazes through her window. A window covered in dog-drool, a window with a view of only one season: Winter. She stares, slack-jawed, at the slow parade of life.twilight-zone-logo

    There is a fifth dimension beyond that which is known to man. It is a dimension as vast as space and timeless as infinity. It is the middle ground between light and shadow, between science and superstition, and it lies between the pit of man’s fears and the summit of his knowledge. This is the dimension of imagination. It is an area we call the Twilight Zone.

    SERIOUSLY?!?letting-go-rose

  • I said, YOOHOO, ALEXIS STEWART!

    I can’t believe she doesn’t see me!…

    I’M IN THE HOT AIR BALLOON FLOATING OVER YOU AND MARTHA!!martha-and-alexis-stroller

    I knew it… She is walking to the mailbox to send a Zeichen Press card!

    She ordered a bunchfromour online shop,but due to doctor/patient (I’m the doctor in this scenario) confidentiality, I cannot divulge which cards she chose.

    I CAN tell you that she is concerned about a funny-looking mole on her mom’s bottom.

  • Captain’s Log, Stardate 4.1.2013

    Jen was part of a dangerous expedition

    jen-ski-trip-crop

    New product was added tothe shopand I can’t help but wonder which cards will sell well… will they be sheep-related?:sheep-30-f8wanted-30-f8snowflake-brighterhigh-fiverecipe-30-f8Or not?

  • Being Eaten By Monsters Is Not So Funny

    My older brothers had a bunk bed, my little brother had his own bed and my sister and I shared a queen-sized bed.

    We also shared countless hours of strange bedtime rituals: she would put on her school uniform (white blouse and brown plaid jumper) and pull her nightgown over it that was for early morning efficiency… I would skip the uniform step and go right to the nightgown.

    I was so slow!

    She would coat her arms in Elmer’s Glue,

    elmers-glue

    I would dress and redress Raggedy Ann.

    I don’t know if she shared my fear of the monster under the bed.

    No, what am I saying?She did not. In fact, she created the fear!

    Siblings can be so cruel.monster-under-the-bed

  • Local Woman Not Kidnapped By Craigslist Poster

    PHEW!

    My Faith in Humanity was fortified! I bought atripod from a stranger on Craiglist and hemade no mention of kidnappng, torturing, OR skinning me.

    Now I can stumble my way through taking photographs of the new cards!

    The Craigslist man assured me (three times) that the tripod was the “real deal” so that should help.

  • The Widow’s Walk

    new-barn-widow-2She waited.

    Pacing the widow’s walk, praying for his ship to appear on the horizon, her view of the sea uninterrupted from her perch.

    But no!

    And who but those onboard could know the truth was it a storm? Pirates? Mutiny?

    Or was it The Kraken?at least

  • Left, Left, Lefty, Right-o Left, Right

    That’s the sound that March makes that and a muffled sobbing.February triggers cabin fever but March in Minnesota is far more dangerous.

    Here’s a story about March:One Christmas, Santa put a baby albino rabbit under the tree so delightful!

    The little rabbit grew into a big rabbit and by the next Winter, our basement smelled like the bunny barn at the State Fair. With scraps of wood and a bale of hay, I built an outdoor rabbit hutch.

    In a pinch, it could serve as a coffin for an adult man.

    IN A PINCH.

    By March it was buried under several feet of snow and I’d order my eldest to go spend time with the rabbit in the snow coffin.

    The moral of the story is: Get a dog.

    And something about March creating crazy. Thank God I have an outlet for my March crazy:water-vodka-2