• Winter Preview

    The Winter Walk Home from school included two memorable rituals: Dipping our un-mittened hands in 25˘ Tom Thumb coffee (how old IS she?) and passing by a very high retaining wall.

    The wall held up the yard of our enemies: Two freckle-faced, red-headed brothers. These boys went to a Public School and as if that isn’t bad enough, they took great pleasure in tormenting me.

    I will remind you that this is what I looked like:fran-school-photo

    Why would anyone want to harm such a sweet creature?

    Armed with boulders of snow, poised-and-ready atop the wall — they would wait. Down Vincent Avenue I trudged: snow-pants under my plaid skirt, grease-covered hand-me-down coat, knit cap with sheepskin earflaps.

    Again, why would anyone want to harm such a sweet creature?

    I won’t tell you the ending.

    We had a dusting of snow the other day but I knew better than to break out the snow-pants and knit cap. It was merely a teaser, a preview, an appetizer, an AMUSE-GUEULE.

    Speaking of snow, here’s a new card: each-and-every-snowflake

    November 14, 2012

  • Winternship™ & Skin Suits

    Zeichen Press has never had a Wintertime Intern.

    Until now.

    I expect the new “intern” to make me laugh. It’s an important job. She also claims she will sort type and organize cards but we’ll see. WE’LL SEE.

    In other news: I made ANOTHER Thinking Of You card. I thought and thought about what sort of message I’d like to receive if I were down-in-the-dumps, and I came up with this:thinking-creepyMy sister wanted me to show The-Softer-Side-Of-Fran, but all I could think of was Marshmallow FluffŽ and then I just wanted to sit on the beach and pull hermit crabs out of their shells.

    What is wrong with me?

    November 8, 2012

  • Snail Mail : Our Bread & Butter

    There has been an ethical debate raging regarding snail shell art. Some feel that humans have the right to decorate the shells of living snails.

    Inner City Snail art by London artist Slinkachu.

    Where do I stand? The following new birthday card reveals my feelings on this sensitive subject:snail-mail-birthdayPlease respect my freedom of speech.

    Speaking of freedom: Come down to Foiled Again on Saturday night for some free wine. While you’re there, you could buy some of our cards!

    Two birds! One stone!downtown-journal

    November 1, 2012

  • Insomnia and the Woolly Mammoth

    I can’t wait until scientists clone the Woolly Mammoth.

    Some might call it reckless curiosity, I call it Vegas-style science. Implanting salvaged Woolly Mammoth nuclei into an unsuspecting Asian Elephant sounds safe to me — what could happen? 

    Meanwhile, I lay awake and imagine receiving (or not receiving) a baby Woolly Mammoth as a gift. thanks-for-almost-everything2

    October 27, 2012

  • I’ve Never Been To Paris

    But I did take French in high school so I know all about magnetephones, l’autobus, et la lunettes pour Luc.

    For the foreseeable future, I will stay within a 30 mile radius of the Zeichen Press headquarters and dream of faraway lands.merciFeeling the need for a Field Trip, I went to the Other Side Of Minneapolis and visited Rex Mills. I walked through the front door, broke the tenth commandment, (You shall not covet - geez, get your mind out of the gutter) pretended I had something in my eye, snapped some photos, threw a drink in the owner’s face, stole five pounds of ink, and left.rex-mills-klugeThat man in the photograph is not the owner — Rex Mills has Press Operators.

    I will kidnap him as soon as my taser gun arrives in the mail.

    October 21, 2012

  • But Wait, There’s More!

    Bears have it best — fattening up and slipping into their Wintertime coma. I sit here, like a fool, planning my Wintertime Wardrobe — if I never had to shower, I would wear my neck to ankle long-underwear uninterrupted.

    I have Faith that Winter will eventually turn to Spring.

    In Spring, I will tear off my layers of long-underwear. I will bury my Smartwool in the backyard. I will shun my calf-length coat like an old boyfriend. (I can’t believe I was with YOU!!)

    In Spring, kids graduate from educational institutions. And because I am a Giver, I give you these: New graduation cards. Don’t be like, “Why are you thinking about graduation in October?”

    Just accept the greeting card calendar. ACCEPT IT.so-long-suckas-boyso-long-suckasdear-school

    October 15, 2012
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  • Vicarious Living

    When Pam (our New England rep) calls me, I have to think for a second… Is this Classic Pam the Cat calling me from beyond the grave? pam staringBut no, that would be silly! Classic Pam is too busy.*heaven is a castlePam spent last week at the Javits center in New York, I think because she loves us.

    We love you too, Pam.

    She is faxing orders over willy-nilly and I am busily taking pictures of kittens.

    (She’ll thank me later.)kittens white chair 2015

    February 6, 2015

  • We want to be more than just friends with: Spruce & Gussy

    Spruce & Gussy -> 12 Mount Desert St. Bar Harbor, Maine

    ANOTHER profile in that special series dedicated to bringing our readers biased reviews of shops that carry our goods.

    Alright, put on your mukluks, shove a wedge of chewing tobacky between your cheek and gum, and head Northeast.
    **Weather Update: New England was CRIPPLED by, like, three feet of snow the other day. BUT BAR HARBOR DON’T CARE. They took it like a man. A man who is not wearing his orange jumpsuit.
    WHAT?!
    When (not IF) I get to Bar Harbor, I will make but one stop: Spruce & Gussy.
    Shopping for all of my small-box items will be dreamy…I SEE YOU.spruce and gussy

    Look for me, Michelle & Patti.
    Look for me and my new friend, Bob Ross.bob ross
    January 29, 2015

  • Two-timing Zeichen Press, AGAIN

    This time, I’m two-timing Zeichen Press with The Book.

    (Remember when I two-timed Zeichen Press with Tanek, and I made those paper dolls??)tanek paper doll inside card

    OMG, good times!

    Now I’m spending my waking hours wrangling kittenskitten 2015and working on the book. Here’s a teaser:ch 2 grab beatrice.blurPUT YOUR GLASSES ON.

    Still blurry?? Wink.

    January 20, 2015

  • Brrrrrr, Pause, Brrrrrr

    I shed my layers this week and exposed my sun damaged, yet somehow pale, flesh to anyone unfortunate enough to glance over at me.fran winter 2015

    fran katie liz naples 2015

    Sun was absorbed, golf carts were driven, and books were begun.new gangster coverTHAT’S RIGHT.

    Golf carts were driven.

    January 11, 2015

  • Case CLOSED (?)

    There were TWO mysteries at Zeichen Press HQ this week. I prayed and prayed to Benedict Cumberbatch,benedict cumberbatchand my prayers were sort of answered, because Jen came to search/tear the house apart.

    FIRST, one of the five kittens was missing.Tib and Christmas kittensTib had means AND motive. She was questioned and released.tib mugshotPoor Tib… We accused her of eating her weakest kitten. (True story.)the strong would surviveThe kitten was later found, unharmed.

    Sorry Tib.

    But what was the second mystery, Fran??

    HUSH, it will be explained in my Tell-All book, coming soon!

    January 6, 2015

  • Winter Intermission

    OR to use a term I (maybe) coined:

    Wintermission!

    I’ve been enjoying hour after hour of On Hold Musickenny gand eating all of the Holiday Cookies.

    Oh, AND setting up a GoFundMe for Tib The Cat. (Donate today to be eligible for one free kitten. Please. I beg of you.)fixing tib—

    AND HERE’S A BREAK-UP CARD. I’m a giver.

    toxic-and-spineless-2

    December 30, 2014

  • The Perfect Time

    Thanks to buzzfeed quizzes, examining my conscience is so much easier. And shouldn’t we all ask ourselves those tough questions this time of year? ”If I were a pizza, what kind would I be?” Or, “Do I prefer Miley Cyrus from her Hanna Montana days or on a Wrecking Ball?” 

    But what is a life if it’s not examined? Not picked apart? Not squeezed like an engorged tick in a ziplock baggie?

    tick

    I make cards between all of this productive introspection. Sometimes fictional creatures are harmed. Sometimes, they are spared.*getting oldMerry Christmas Eve-Eve!

    December 23, 2014

  • Out With the Old

    I designed the Tanek website some dog years ago — it’s time for something fresh and tasty.

    Landing page = done.tanek. index page.harvestor grabMore to come…

    December 22, 2014

  • Christmas Future

    My agent wants a second book, he assures me that he’ll sell this one. He better, because I bought a $95 rug from Target. We’re not all fancy New Yorkers, Peter. WE’RE NOT.

    So, it looks like this Winter will look just like last Winter… Except, I had the kids drag the trunk down from the attic for a coffee table.Dinah drinks from a glassOh, the cats? Never mind those. This place is crawling with them.christmas tree 2014*BETTER DAYS AHEADFine, here’s this year’s Christmas tree.

    December 12, 2014

  • Tomorrow’s Forecast: 100% Chance of Shopping

    Where can a person do all of their Christmas (AND CHANUKAH) shopping??

    Amazon? 

    Shut your mouth.

    Let me be more specific. LET ME.

    Where can a person do all of their Christmas (AND CHANUKAH) shopping for amazing hand-made gifts while laughing with friends and/or family, eating ethnically diverse foods, AND SEE FRAN AND JEN??

    THE NO COAST CRAFT-O-RAMA!!no coast banner 2014
    Omg… that’s TOMORROW! Oh, THAT’S what Jen has been talking about! And THAT’S what these boxes are for!boxes for no coast 2014

    more boxes for no coast show 2014See you there!

    XO!

    December 4, 2014
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