Zeichen Press – Page 12 – Design & Letterpress for the people.

Where’s my unpaid intern?

WHERE??? If I have to work on this�catalog layout for�10 more seconds I’m going to quit my job. I will instantly rehire myself just so I can quit again. This could go on for days. Of COURSE I couldn’t just work with the catalog copy �in Adobe InDesign – I HAD to use a WWII era typewriter. A Smith-Corona Skyriter to type in each individual bit of information about all 100 products.�What is wrong with me?

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I actually�cheated�in “keyboarding I AND II” in high school. Don’t ask me how. DON’T ASK ME.�

Jen is just dying to say, “I told you so.” Just shut up, Jen. Why must �you take the place of my underdeveloped sensibilities?

January 8, 2009
Waist-deep snow

Day Two. ��Snow fell through the night and drifted into the passage. The women and children are weaker today. Kenneth is ailing and must be dragged on a make-shift sledge. Robert appears to be delusional and only can speak of thick-cut bacon and death metal. The dogs are starting to look delicious, especially the fluffy one. We are, most certainly, in a predicament.

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Um, here’s a new card – inspired by the men, women, and children that ventured West .

The Donner (Birthday) Party

January 4, 2009
I’ll tell you what

Uh. December is, like, over. I don’t even care. Good riddance you ungrateful pig. You think you’re so great with your Christmas and your Hanukkah and your Britney Spears’ birthday. I’ve had it. I think we all have. Even with all of these Feast Days I managed to squeeze in our long-awaited catalog creation. And don’t think I forgot about my�25-birthday-cards. Self-imposed deadlines are the only way to get anything done. You know what else works? Pretending someone is going to kill you if you don’t get something done. SO, I scrounged up some images and wrote some lines. Yeah, yeah – I’ve not set the type or done layouts or pulled any proofs – mere formalities. And anyway, my shop elves will do it while I’m ringing in the New Year in lovely Brainerd, Minnesota. Here are a few images/lines – they’ll be 15% funnier after I’ve had my way with them. And another thing: they’re not all birthday cards. I’m not some sort of one-trick pony.

You make this, you live.

Good luck.

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Shhhh. Nobody’ll even notice us.

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Eh? What’s that? Whose birthday? Who are you? Get out of my room.

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��Happy Birthday, you tool.

…and in conclusion – quit calling me a pussy.

Sincerely,

Pevenshire Wiffynuts

x=get me the f*ck out of here.

Congratulations.

I said, CONGRATULATIONS!

If you’re old enough to remember this game
you are probably sitting in your own urine.

Thanks for coming to my birthday party, my tiny friends.

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Alright, that’ll do. I’ll post more after the elves work it out. Oh, and if you see a woman running around Brainerd in giant underpants and Sorel Boots it’s not me. Happy New Year!!!

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December 31, 2008
No-Coast and a stock pot

Good Lord, what a day! I got up at the crack o’ eight – Jen picked me up and brought me to the MidTown Market to hawk our goods. It was the No-Coast Craft-o-Rama! We were pretty much SiameseTwins – due to my crippling Math Anxiety, I can’t be left alone to make change for a twenty. I welcome your prayers. I smiled lots and said, “four�dollars” or “five�dollars” whenever I felt like it. Sometimes it was in response to a customer’s question. Here are some customers: notice their intense cheerfulness:

I did manage to step away from our table to find a crinkly cat bag for My Mother-in-Law. She’s gonna frickin’ love it. Those cats are gonna thank me by walking by me and not noticing I exist. It’ll be one awesome Christmas.

…Fast forward, like, eight hours and I found myself at a delightful Holiday Party. I think it was in Plymouth. Anyway, the halls were decked, the booze was flowing. The booze was flowing. In retrospect, I don’t think it all wanted to be in�my�body. I’m not sure why, at the time, I thought it did want to be in there. And honestly, there wasn’t a lot of �room, what with all the�spanakopita�. I was planning on giving it all up in a stock pot that Katie generously donated to the car. I felt the love. I did make it home, with a clean stock pot, and Kenny dumped me into bed. He was like a hunter and I was like a deer carcass. The bed was the pick-up truck. It was so much fun. I dragged my sorry arse out of bed this morning to for churching. The stock pot is a symbol of one woman’s redemption. So much can happen in a day.

PS: Did you know that 80’s glasses are back in style?? You crazy kids!

December 7, 2008
SO. MANY. WORDS.

Three 10″x15″ iron chases locked up with�Touchpoint�Buzzwords. Buzzwords and some other random cuts from the ZP collection – including a chunk from a newspaper insert advertising handy items for the ladies: A rubber-lined shopping bag available in gay plaids, a multi-tiered clothes hanger, a cap to protect the hairdo. What I wouldn’t give to have those items. My drab, rain-soaked groceries… My closet, crammed full! How could I be hanging my clothes on ONE plane? My hair, My God, my hair… I don’t even know where to start. I get a “do” and leave it�completely�unprotected. It’s like I don’t even care! Oh. Back to the Touchpoint Holiday Card/Disc Sleeve. It’s super sweet:

December 3, 2008
SO. MANY. WORDS.

�Three 10″x15″ iron chases locked up with Touchpoint Buzzwords. Buzzwords and some other random cuts from the ZP collection – including a chunk from a newspaper insert advertising handy items for the ladies: A rubber-lined shopping bag available in gay plaids, a multi-tiered clothes hanger, a cap to protect the hairdo.

What I wouldn’t give to have those items. My drab, rain-soaked groceries… My closet, crammed full! How could I be hanging my clothes on ONE plane? My hair, My God, my hair… I don’t even know where to start. I get a “do” and leave it completely unprotected. It’s like I don’t even care!

Oh. Back to the Touchpoint Holiday Card/Disc Sleeve. It’ super sweet:

Touchpoint Cd Sleeve

Touchpoint Cd Sleeve

Touchpoint Cd Sleeve

Touchpoint Cd Sleeve

December 3, 2008

Pantone 801 Uncoated Period (Periodo Azul)

Remember how I promised that when my painkillers wore off, I’d make a card based on�The Lung Collapsing Event? It turns out that I only needed them for a couple of days and flushed the rest�~ DON’T GET ANY IDEAS ~�and then I made this breakup card:

September 28, 2014
#AmericanMadeMSL AND The Land of Counterpane

Recovering from a collapsed lung is the perfect time to learn all about hashtags.

Thank you, lung!

I obsessively�tweeted�and nagged everyone on�Facebook. I’M SORRY EVERYONE.

Wait,�#HelpMe.

It’s been a�trending/not-trending�rollercoaster-week for Zeichen Press…YOU MUST REALLY BE SUFFERING!

But may the�best (wo)man (named Fran and Jen)�win.�Did I mention that you have to vote 6x every day through October 13th?�And did I mention that my doctor told me that my other lung will collapse if we don’t win??

PS: I made a new Mother’s Day card…

September 26, 2014
Voting is a Good Thing

Running for student council vice president of my Freshman class was so stressful! Our platform was twofold:

1) Instruct � and therefore unify � our class via a comprehensive Class Cheer: “Nine-tee! Nine-tee! Ninetyninetyninety nine-tee!!! YAYYYY!!”

2) Oh, I guess it was only a onefold platform…

NEEDLESS TO SAY, votes were cast, and I won. It was a real nail-biter.

SPEAKING OF VOTING, you can finally start�voting for Zeichen Press here!

And you can (and should!!) vote 6x per day! SIX TIMES. PER DAY.

September 15, 2014
Attack of the Spontaneous Pneumothorax!

Yikes! That sounds scary!

Lungs are not�supposed�to collapse, but that’s what makes life so exciting! Sunday mornings could be all jejune French toast and bacon, OR they could be all ambulance and emergency surgery.(I was just as stoic as the�woman in the above illustration while they performed�my�surgery. Eyes wide open, no tears.)

Life is so full of twists and turns!

There is nothing like having your very own chest tube � my aunt said it was my friend. And indeed it was! My little friend with a one-way valve who caused me nothing but suffering. After just two days, the doctor pulled my friend out of my chest � and again, like the woman in the illustration: I was stoic, with eyes wide open and no tears.

I’ll write a card about this as soon as my painkillers wear off.

September 10, 2014
We want to be more than just friends with: Portobello Road and Rags

Portobello Road and Rags�-> 4 Dock Street Edgartown, Martha’s Vineyard, MA

ANOTHER profile in that special series dedicated to bringing our readers biased reviews of shops that carry our goods.

Great. Now I�HAVE�to go to Martha’s Vineyard.But I’ll do it for you, reader, because I’m a giver. A GIVER.

Will residents of Martha’s Vineyard embrace Zeichen Press cards? Will they clutch them to their breast while weeping�tears of joy and relief?? WILL THEY??

Oh, Carly Simon! Let�us both�wear our overalls, place one of our feet delicately upon a fieldstone wall, and laugh and laugh while we read Zeichen Press cards that we (you) bought�from Portobello Road!

Yes, LET’S.

September 6, 2014
American Made… FINALIST!

Zeichen Press is a finalist for Martha Stewart’s American Made contest.�

YOU HEARD ME.

The Grand Prize is $10,000 and Martha legally adopting the winner. Alexis is so tired of being an only child. Remember when I told you to SHARE the�American Made�Zeichen�Press�page�on Facebook and twitter??

WHY?

BECAUSE I’M ACTIVATING MY SOCIAL NETWORK TO EARN A FINALIST SPOT!H elp!

And don’t worry, I’ll be harassing you on Sept 15th to vote for us…

Here’s the script they gave me: The judges have named me a 2014 @AmericanMadeMSL Awards finalist. Support & share my work to get involved! #celebratethemaker

September 1, 2014
American Made!

We make things!

We live in America!�

“American Made�spotlights the maker, supports the local, and celebrates the handmade. The program is made up of people and communities that have turned their passion for quality craftsmanship and well-designed goods into a way of life.”

A WAY OF LIFE.

BAM.

In order for Martha to notice Zeichen Press�(umm, she should really just ask Alexis about us)�YOU need to SHARE our American Made nomination page with all of your Facebook friends and twitter followers:

� Step one: Click this�link.

� Step two: Scroll down a teensy bit on that page.

� Step three: Click button that looks like this:(WARNING: The above image IS NOT AN ACTUAL BUTTON, MOM)

� Step four: Follow instructions.

PS: I love you.

PPS: Deadline is Friday! NO BIG DEAL.

August 27, 2014
Ode to Jen

Merry Jenmas, everyone!

MY dog must have been confused, she left birthday presents�for Jen�on my living room floor last night?�Oh, Millie…

Thomas Edison’s quote is so true: Genius is one percent inspiration and ninety-nine percent spray bleach.

August 26, 2014
Adi�s Diablo

I had a pretty big realization when I was 23. This revelation came as I was drifting off to sleep and caused me to sit straight up in bed.

CRUELLA DE VIL = CRUEL DEVIL!!!How could I have been so blind for so long?!

No matter. Here’s a card.

August 23, 2014
Oh, that old saying!

You know what I’m talking about??

Read the card out loud for full effect.

August 14, 2014