• The Big Picture

    This is the face of a girl who got a globe for Christmas the year before. A girl determined to prove to everyone how much she needed; NAY, deserved the Lite-Brite. fran-lite-brite

    Santa would never make that mistake again. 

    This determination guided the girl for a lifetime, nothing would stand between her and her singleminded fixations. Fran etch a sketch

    NOTHING.

    fran-covered-in-kittens

    One of the latest obstacles were some pesky illustrated creatures 45510_frog_concertwho needed to be removed so one frog could fulfill his God-given right to sing Wayne Newton.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LRPILZS1hc8

    And sing he did. 

    darling-danke-schon

    Yours for only $4.50! (SOON.)

    darling-frog

    October 21, 2016
  • Slightly Different

    Usually bragging is reserved for Facebook, family newsletters, and prison cells. But showering has made me feel fancy and solitary confinement has made me such a blabbermouth!
    SO behold our new bathroom:bathroom-newMillie wanted to show off the bathroom but she isn’t tall enough to open the backdoor.squirrel-millie-wordsToo bad we re-screened that door!

    Did that squirrel even know he/she was the color of my new grout?? I’m kidding! I’m sure he/she did!

    Speaking of Dove Gray™ grout, (WERE WE??) I made a new card. Intern #1 said it was Mom Humor. I told her to go to her room.an-elephant-never-forgets

    October 11, 2016
  • Copy. Paste. Repeat. Copy. Paste. Repeat. Copy. Paste. Repeat. Copy. Paste. Repeat.

    Have I mentioned how much Millie The Dog one-dog-named-milliebarks at anything and everything within a 500 foot perimeter of our house? Mailman, delivery-person, solicitors, neighbors, guests, the kids, trick-or-treaters, my mom… We’ve talked a lot about it and she feels super responsible for alerting us – I told her that we really don’t need that kind of help, BUT WE DID. SHE WAS RIGHT. SHE’S ALWAYS RIGHT.

    SO, my driveway was full of a dumpster filled with bathroom remodel debris, Millie was having a staycation with a friend, AND SOME JERK CLIPPED THE LOCK ON OUR SHED AND STOLE MY BIKE.cut-lockAnd he threw the lock in the dirt like some sort of criminal.

    AND THEN, the loser (no judgment) tried to sell MY bike on a site called OfferUp.com.img_3265

    But he is as slippery as an eel wrapped in a banana peel, and disappeared INTO THE NIGHT. Police have been alerted, prayers to St. Anthony have been said. I asked St. Anthony if he could forward my prayers onto the Patron Saint of Stolen Goods and he told me to go back to sleep and stop Googling escutcheons for the new bathroom.

    FINE.

    While I wait for my miracle, I spend days mindlessly migrating ALL of the content from the Zeichen Press site to THE NEW Zeichen Press site. DON’T WORRY, you won’t even be able to tell the difference because we wanted to spend a lot of money on something that nobody notices.

    OH, and Jen got some new/old cutslittle-man-in-cutsso I made a Father’s Day Card out of that little man.go-to-bedBACK TO MIGRATING/WEEPING.

    September 22, 2016
  • Hygiene Tester

    I did the math and figured out that two toilets MINUS one toilet EQUALS one toilet. And one shower MINUS one shower EQUALS zero showers.

    I desperately yelled that equation to the boys during my bathroom demo, but they pretended not to hear me.boys bathroom demoI only gave birth to them to provide me with free manual labor. Ha! Who’s laughing now, boys??

    Anyway, who needs a shower??Arnie GrapeOR a bath??bathroom mid-project.smallI barely do.

    And as soon as all of my family and friends get back from being out of town for a month, they’ll tell you the same.

    Here’s a new birthday card/fantasy:Happy Bidet

    September 5, 2016
  • Jenmas Eve!

    Everyone celebrates Jenmas Eve differently.*I* like to go to Hot Plate SANS Jen to eat a Mexican Omelet surrounded by a gallery of paint-by-number masterpieces.

    Hot Plate wall

    YEARS AGO, Jen (carefully) slaved away over *her* masterpiece and it sits atop a shelf of knick-knacks in Cape Cod. 

    knick knack shelf cape cod jen made thisShe was so dedicated! 

    I bet she knew that someday I’d repay her in birthday cards.

    dog person crazy cat lady

    August 25, 2016
  • Will Design 4… White Italian Cararra Marble Hexagon Tile

    The Art Licensor (RSVP) asked us for some birthday cards and because I love to work/need money, I made nine. I won’t bore you with the details/need to get back to listening to my new podcast (My Favorite Murder).

    Here are a few… Will they choose any???

    Stay tuned.

    rsvp.2.self medicating rsvp.i buried rsvp.your birthday called rsvp.birthday cake.one piece

    Thank you, Karen Kilgariff and Georgia Hardstark. I can’t wait until Alexis Stewart and I meet you in person!

    August 16, 2016
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  • Adventures In Letterpress!

    When I was 18 years old, a friend and I drove her crappy car to the Superior National Forest for an event. I didn’t have my driver’s license so I only drove half way. The event was called The Rainbow Gathering and was full of fascinating (high and naked) people. rainbow_gathering_trader_circleHighlights of the trip: Sitting in a tent all night with a group of strangers and not getting raped. And I think some other things happened but I’m not sure if they were real.

    Aren’t subcultures fascinating??

    Brandon Mise studied Letterpress Printers Around The World and made a book: Adventures In Letterpress:adventures-in-letterpress-coverAND he put a Zeichen Press project in it! It was that 4-color halftone/impossible feat of letterpress printing that we made for the Tanek Christmas card one year:adventures-in-letterpress-zeichen-pressRemember that? Little Nat and Ken sitting on scary Santa’s lap?? Did that event really happen?? Shhhhhhh, don’t speak or everyone will know how simple-minded you are.

    March 17, 2014
  • Website Hijacked By Syrians

    It’s true!

    Our site was down for most of the week and the pirates wouldn’t restore it until serious demands were met. Jen had to “marry” the pirates and I had to write more birthday cards for our Spring Release.nobody-else-got-me-one-of-thesecome-on-obligatory-phone

    March 8, 2014
  • I’ve Done All The Things

    I’ve had 120 fires, watched everything (worth watching) on Netflix, eaten BONE-BROTH soup (like a caveman), changed my Smartwool socks 4 times…

    Oh, and WROTE A BOOK.

    Here’s the new cover with working title. (Isn’t that what people say??)get-back-in-that-house-vers-2

    But I always try to find the deeper meaning behind hardship, and 45 sub-zero days equals hardship. AM I RIGHT??

    Maybe I’m supposed to let the Winter inspire more cards?words-that-rhyme-with-cold

    February 26, 2014
  • SO NEEDY

    Sheila and Franz Ferdinand begged me to write a Zeichen Press card about their love because they’ve been together for over five years. I thought for sure she would have left him when his hair-plugs were rejected by his fussy scalp, but the toupée looked so lifelike!cold-lifeless-heart-2You still have time to order a card for Valentine’s Day! Or two, if you are having an affair.

    February 4, 2014
  • Mini-Ice Age

    That’s right! Scientists have analyzed data and determined that it’s extra cold.

    Now I feel even less bad for never leaving my beanbag nest with fireplace view.fireplaceI gave up working-out and have adopted a restorative yoga practice. This particular pose is called Corpse.fran-corpse-poseNote the Winter coat. My character froze to death on the prairie.

    ANYWAY. I can act like this now because I’m an eccentric writer with A LITERARY AGENT.

    28 pages down, 12 to go…

    January 26, 2014
  • Voodoo Doll

    I started getting acupuncture this weekacupuncture-wordsbecause my qi [chee] is obviously messed up. And, everyone knows, it is impossible to write a book with messed-up qi [chee].

    A BOOK?!

    I’m writing A BOOK!! Remember??

    It’s one of the four things I talk about, so it should be easy to remember.

    But, what are the other three?

    1) Bacon

    2) Rat-kingsrat-kingAnd 3) My new nephewbaby-trojackHere’s a card that explains everything:chickens-are-anxiousRight??

    January 17, 2014
  • Out of the depths I have cried to Thee

    Two important things happened this week:

    1) It was so cold that I never left the house.weather-grabIT FELT LIKE -49°.

    OKAY, cover your ears: THAT’S BULLSHIT.

    All I could possibly do is sit in front of the fire with my companion, Tib The Cat.tib-and-fireOh, yeah, and here’s number

    2) I GOT A LITERARY AGENT.

    You heard me.

    The Steinberg Agency — they rep people like Tim Gunn and Cris Carter. NO BIG DEAL.

    They want a 40-page picture book for adults…

    *I* like pictures.

    *I* am an adult.

    I can make that book.

    Here’s a teaser/the cover OF MY BOOK.how-to-cover-new-names

    January 10, 2014
  • With An Awl And Some Brandy

    I heard a story about a Minnesota fur trader. 

    Tromping through the snow in seasonably cold weather, sans Northface winter gear and, more importantly, SANS Smartwool socks — he found his feet to be frozen solid. Frozen like a forgotten chuck roast buried under the pile of pizzas and popsicles.

    What did he do?

    Simply dragged his body through the snow until warmish accommodations were reached, asked the hardy men in the room for an awl, punctured his feet, and had those same hardy men pour brandy over his numb tootsies.

    There. Feet saved.

    I didn’t write a card about that. (I’m sure I will.) Here’s something more lighthearted:when-i-grow-up curling-team

    January 4, 2014
  • The Ruminator (2013 edition)

    2013 was a doozy!

    I daydreamed with such intensity!

    Such intent!

    Such fervor!photoshop-grab-2And I can’t speak for Jen (just kidding, I will. Right now.) but I’m pretty sure she has been on pins and needles JUST WAITING for cards from me in her inbox. (Between the printing, billing, and shipping.)

    I also can’t speak for The First Intern, and now The Virtual Intern, but I will say that their lol’s have fueled my asbestos-covered furnace.

    So, as I sit here, wearing layers of long underwear, under an Indian blanket (soaked in smallpox), staring out the window… I am beyond grateful for the ladies that make Zeichen Press more than just a daydream.

    And now I’m all choked up!

    But enough of that!dear-snowi-do-say

    December 31, 2013
  • Alright, Fun’s Over

    Christmas is SO two days ago and that leaves me wondering what to do with the rest of winter.

    Should I:

    A) Take up a winter sport, like: crying? Or swearing? Or punching the air?

    B) Write/design cards about this wonder-filled season.

    I choose both!better-to-give

    December 27, 2013
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