The No-Coast Craft-O-Rama was a success!
I think it might be because Jen and I were wearing our new uniforms. 
It’s hard to know — but marketing is SO important these days and we really do our best to be, as the kids say, cutting edge.
After the show, we packed our uniforms in bubble-wrap, sat by a roaring fire, and watched the snow fall.
And fall.
And fall.
That inspired a Chanukah card!
This goes out to my Jewish brothers and sisters:
And like the Canadian Goose, she stayed. She stayed and embraced the cold, using her derriére to warm the waters of her pond.
And by derriére, I mean “bottom” and by waters of her pond, I mean “the Midtown Market.”
What?!
It’s time for the No-Coast Craft-o-Rama! TOMORROW (Friday, December 7 AND Saturday, December 8)!!
Here’s what I’ve done to get ready: 
That’s a full cord of wood that I ordered.
AND I made this card:
Jen did everything else.
See you tomorrow!
xo,
Fran
A long, long time ago, when men roamed the wild, with sharp spears and heavy stones, a discovery was made: A charred nub-of-a-stick was scraped against the wall to create a picture, a representation of reality — why?
The need to communicate visually is unique to humans (and some elephants).
I wish I had a trunk.
Here’s what I need to communicate visually:
Secured to her bonnet with picture wire, butcher’s twine, and Christmas Spirit (egg-nog). That spruce-top sat atop her head for the entire season of Advent.
She knew that it offset her dour expression — an expression she couldn’t redesign. Oh, but the tiny tree brought delight to all she passed!
For those blissful weeks, nobody seemed to notice her stern glower, her face — twisted into the judgmental scowl went unnoticed. She imagined wearing other elaborate fancies on her head — but for now, this would do:
I was once one of them — an innocent amusement park customer. I looked down at them now, from the highest man-made point in Shakopee, Minnesota. I sighed and listened to the chug-chug-chugging from beneath our coaster — our lives depended on the integrity of a giant bicycle chain. Our open-casket hesitated for just a moment at the tippy-top of the steel summit — hesitated just enough for me to grasp the inevitable free-fall. And as we plummeted to our possible deaths, I screamed.
And wet my pants.
The End
How old was she?
Don’t judge me.
Obviously, I wasn’t born riding a roller coaster, I was born screaming. And wetting my pants.
*Hint: this photograph was taken close to the time of the event and **Double Hint: I’m not the baby.
Speaking of literary themes, there is a lot (not really) to dissect in this new (Holiday/Winter Season?) card:
The newspaper is delivered to our doorstep each morning (by horse and buggy) and I comb through it — if I find a particularly odd/sad/absurd story, I read it aloud to whomever (the dog) is nearby.
Here is an abbreviated digest of the only (two) articles I remember from the past (two) months: (In alphabetical order)
1) Stratosphere jump by daredevil, Felix Baumgartner: In an attempt to break the world record, Felix jumped from a capsule suspended 23 miles above Roswell, New Mexico.
I plan on breaking that record when I get tired of this whole letterpress thing.
2) Talking elephant in South Korea loves Zeichen Press. Strange but true.
Crazy?! I know! Koshik’s trainer must $*#%-love Zeichen Press.
Enough time-wasting.
Here is a new Christmas card (available NEXT Christmas. Sorry).
Nighttime is just like daytime but with fewer socks and more Professor Blastoff.
Who is Professor Blastoff??
Professor Blastoff is a podcast/my gateway to dreamland. Not because it’s boring! Shut your pretty mouth. But because these three comedians lull me me to sleep with their soothing silliness. How can silliness be soothing?? Just listen to it and quit judging me.
Speaking of professors, a(n) (assistant) professor (Alicia Erian) at Northeastern University (Department of English and Tomfoolery) took such a shine to Zeichen Press that she is our new (virtual) intern! Responsibilities include (but aren’t limited to): Telling me how awesome I am.
She didn’t love this next card but I still love her.
In this story, the ‘straw’ is paper-and-ink and the ‘gold’ is a cash box full of cash.
If only mortgage companies and grocery stores accepted hugs and back rubs in exchange for their products and services! Alas, they do not, and so we are forced to peddle our wares. 
Normally, shops around the WORLD (that’s right) peddle our goods for us, but once a year, we come out of hiding, and on horseback, to peddle our own goods at the beloved No Coast Craft-o-Rama.
Is it because we love laughter and the spirit of the Holiday Season? Or is it because we love money?
Oh, the reformed Scrooge inside of me says it’s not about the money. IT’S NOT.
Where?
AT THE MIDTOWN GLOBAL MARKET FOR THE NO COAST CRAFT-O-RAMA!!
Directions:
1) Put on all of your clothes and coats.
2) Hitch sled-dogs to sled.
3) MUSH!!
4) Do ALL of your Holiday shopping. And eating.
Is there a better way to embrace the Holiday season??
NO.
There is always SO MUCH TO DO this time of year! Jen has to print and fold about a million cards and I have to sit still so my daughter can do my nails.
Yes, those are adorable pandas. And yes, that is stigmata.
The No Coast Craft-o-Rama has an amazing line up this year (as usual), there is Miss Amy Jo, Adam Turman, glass|wares, Cosmo’s Collars, Moss Love Terrariums, Oh Dier, Soup Hunter Guitars, and… so… much… MORE!!
SO, bring your money and your eyeballs and get ready to check everyone off your Christmas list! AND send a belated Chanukah card (is that a thing??)
Postable asked me to create a card that celebrates a very rare occurrence: Thanksgiving and Hanukkah falling on the same day. I don’t know much about the Jewish Faith but I think that means eight days of leftovers.
This mash-up won’t happen again for another 77,000 years.
It’s true.
In other news… Jen and I will celebrate Thanksgiving the way we always do: in period costume. Twist: Jen will be dunked in the dunking chair until she confesses to being a witch.
Happy Thanksgiving!
Now that the temperature has dropped to depressing lows, I’ve turned to TLC reruns for comfort. …My Strange Addiction is the best thing on television… Why wouldn’t I gorge myself on other people’s dysfunction?
But enough about women addicted to drinking their own urine. Here’s a card about perspective.
It’s easy!
Old folks like Misao Okawa credit their longevity to poached eggs and whiskey.
Oh, I can do that.
We’ve had some big orders come in from a shop in Oslo… I’ve been trying to figure out how they heard of Zeichen Press…
Here’s how: If you take a running start, and are a good swimmer, you can get to Oslo from Denmark, and Denmark is just Germany’s top hat… And Germany, as you know, is the birthplace of Gutenberg.
And of letterpress… Right? LETTER press?? ZEICHEN Press?? Clearly Zeichen Press is synonymous with letterpress in that part of the world. All they had to do was google letterpress to find this:
There you have it.
Mystery solved.
Takk Liebling.
Oh, clearly they speak English, but I don’t speak Norwegian — and that’s where the interweb comes in handy:
Translator says:
Class dismissed.
I knew it!
