Zeichen Press – Page 18 – Design & Letterpress for the people.

Hello, my name is

Remember when�I talked about my naming skills?�No?�That’s okay, I barely remember it myself.�Anyway,�I did a project with�The Carney Group�- I named a product that debuted at the�2011 MacWorld Expo�to much adulation. Wait, that’s a pretty strong word. To much�curiosity.�They made the Top 3 Happening Booths but I think that had more to do with the bearded�CodeWeavers�COO dressing as Cher (I think that’s Cher?? Yucky!)

than the name I chose for the product – which was, by the way:�Impersonator. See, it’s software that let’s your Mac run Windows apps without running Windows.

So brilliant.

David Pogue of the�New York Times�called it “hilarious” and one of the most creative pitches he’d seen all year.

I wonder if he meant�last year�because otherwise it would just be one of the most creative pitches he’d seen in January. I also wonder if he meant it was one of the most�disturbing�pitches he’d seen.

I wrote a lot of funny lines and made some cool logos

BUT all of my creative was for naught.

For naught.

They wrote their own lines and made their own logo. That’s cool. I don’t even care. I don’t. I totally let it go. Totally. I’m fine. Oh, here’s a little video�I made (rejected by them – which I’m totally fine with. I am. I’m fine. It’s cool. Whatever. It doesn’t even bother me.) to go with the name.�Close the blinds and turn on the projector, here’s IMPERSONATOR:

January 31, 2011
Working in the Bathtub

I love the ladies of the�Jelly Shot Test Kitchen. And when I say I�love�them it means I�love�that they trust us. Trust us to create business cards�of the future.�We’re not sure how lasers work but we all saw Superman II.

These days, lasers are used for more than just pulverizing concrete. And I can prove it:

The latest project for JSTK has nothing to do with lasers. Or letterpress -�don’t they know we do LETTERPRESS??��They asked us to create some instructional films.

Naturally, I cleaned my bathtub and got to work:

Here’s what I made:

January 9, 2011
Goodbye 2010

2010 has a short driveway and as we backed down it we (I) felt wistful. It seems like only last year we were�freezing in Brainerd. Here we are again, eating thick-cut bacon and praying for the strength to survive round after round of Name That Tune. I don’t believe in New Year’s Resolutions because the prisons are overcrowded as it is and also because the world isn’t ready for my style of leadership. (Deer-in-the-headlights.)

This was a big year for Zeichen Press – and as I sit in my Fiberglass Insulated Cell, I feel gratitude. I also feel greasy from all of the bacon, but like the sparrow, I will take a sand-bath to freshen up when the time is right. A new website,�a fleet of reps,�prints in Room & Board, the dog’s wig:

Who wouldn’t be grateful? I believe Jen and I are coming up on The Five Year Anniversary of Our Zeichen Press Partnership – we will celebrate by not murdering each other in cold blood.

Don’t worry, we’ll send out Save-The-Date cards.

January 1, 2011
Magic Birthday

Aunt Clare –>

In other words, it’s her�Magic Birthday! �The�Orange Five print was created especially for her:

It’s pretty tasty and she may try to lick the ink but I can’t be responsible for that. Just like I can’t be responsible for anything I did from 1985 – 1995.

December 29, 2010
Are we there yet?

Christmas is just around the corner and that can only mean one (or more) thing(s): The shop is closed and the kitchen is open.

ALSO, it means that the children and animals are underfoot (more than usual) because of the 5 foot snowdrifts blocking the exits.

But don’t worry if you haven’t sent (or bought) your Christmas cards, yet! We (Jen and I, mostly Jen) are here to hold your hand straight through this blustery season! Did you know that (legally) you can send “Christmas” cards until January 6? THAT, is the official end of the Christmas Season because that’s when the Wise Men hauled it to the manger.

*Playmobile dramatization.

I used to mark the end of the Christmas Season by my son’s birthday (February 7). That day meant it was time to shove the Christmas tree out the second story window before the arrival of the birthday party guests.�Now�the tree stays until it becomes a fire hazard, and not a moment longer.�So responsible!

So, speaking of an Epiphany: Don’t waste another minute reading this scatology! Go and buy some�Seasonal Cards!

December 22, 2010
Snow on Snow on Snow

Ummmmmmmmmm… it’s, like, snowing.

We tried to venture out in it today but then we saw this:

And this:

That’s a snow plow in a ditch on the side of the highway.

Now we’re doing our Christmas shopping sans danger from our�computer�-�you can too!

December 11, 2010

First, Poison The Ants

An ANTfestation�in the shop required aggressive use of insecticide. Two waves of spray-on poison were needed to completely wipe out the colony hiding behind the Great Wall Of Cards.We murdered thousands of antsbefore Jen and I had an important meeting to decide which cards should be included in our next release.

Wait,�after�the genocide, but�before�the important meeting, Classic Pam got ahold of�another�baby rabbit. (See blog post:�Fear and Dread) There was some backyard bedlam involving the dog and five kids chasing the cat… I got caught up in the chase but ended up somehow kicking the hopping baby rabbit. Don’t ask me how that happened.

DON’T ASK.

And without further adieu… the moment you’ve all been waiting for… OUR… NEW… CARDS!!!

�

September 2, 2013
Life Is But A Dream

“We’re Creek People now, mom… We’re Creek People…”What began as an optimistic, joy-filled journey down Minnehaha Creek turned into a somber, personal purgatory.

The creek didn’t mean to be a metaphor for life, but it was.

IT WAS.

We made it out alive and�I’m so glad, I didn’t want to have to eat one, or more, of my children.Did you know it’s Jen’s birthday today?? She celebrated by printing cards for�Paper Source�in our studio-turned-Easy-Bake Oven. She treated herself with a fan pointed at her back.

Tradition dictates that I make her a card. So, I did.

August 26, 2013
Steel Perfing Rule And You

I’ve had so many (one) requests for bookplates!

Maybe you have a book that you don’t want someone (your mother) to “borrow” and “forget” to return? Maybe you need a bald man to protect your book?

You do??

I just made something for you AND because I’m generous (TO A FAULT), there are TWO bookplates�on one piece of paper.�

Using�radical letterpress technology�(steel perfing rule) I was able to lay out TWO bald men PLUS a message in lead, that can be neatly separated and pasted into a beloved book.No, no… it’s not a miracle. Just one woman’s attempt to make the world a better place.

And on that note,�here’s a card that touches on a preeetty�sensitive subject:

August 21, 2013
Fear and Dread

I’m not afraid of heights or clowns or rats or bats or cemeteries or sharks. But I AM afraid of centipedes.

Once upon a time, I vacuumed up a centipede that was wearing Bill Cosby’s sweater.

But enough of that!

It’s August and time to dread Winter.

My research shows that Hell is being trapped in a snow cave with 1,000 centipedes.�And here’s a card for Christmas.

WHAT?!

August 12, 2013
Bionic Fran Goes To the Post Office

The much-anticipated matchup between Bionic Fran and Wonder Woman is finally here!�Tickets are available by our back gate and the fight will be held in the driveway.

Come early and pick an unripened tomato to throw at the loser.

The event takes place as soon as Jen finds her way out of the mountains � I know her pockets were stuffed with breadcrumbs, so I’m sure she’ll be fine.

I’ve been pretty busy while she’s been gone… The intern and I talked a lot, I picked up two dead birds and one dead baby rabbit… I brought orders to the post office… I made this birthday card…

July 24, 2013
Ampersands And Counting Skills

Counting is not as easy as it looks.�The intern and I had to count cards (we love to gamble) for a big�Kate’s Paperie�order.

Holiday cards in June?My life is an endless sacrifice.

All of that counting tasted terrible, and so to cleanse her palette, the intern put a lot of ampersands together. That looked exactly like this:And because I need attention, I made this:See, it’s a profound cultural statement? DO YOU SEE?!

July 20, 2013
And Classic Pam Taketh Away

Jen held the garbage-pail lid and I swung the hammer, it is our shop gong and is ceremoniously banged when we receive an order over $1,000.

We bang it one thousand times and then Jen gets to printing.

Paper Source�ordered a new (for them) card:Oh, what do I do after the gong show?�I chase and scold the cat.

Classic Pam has single-pawedly wiped out an entire rabbit family.

Tsk, tsk!

This one survived…until it peed and died in my hands.

ALSO,�Urban Outfitters�(a real mom and pop joint) wants samples of some of our cards.Settle down. SETTLE DOWN. They’ve led us on before � I’m not going to fashion a wooden stool into a potty chair so that I can sit by the phone day and night.

I’m not. I’M NOT.

July 15, 2013
Vacation Drama

Jen has been toiling away at Zeichen Press Headquarters and I have been thinking about her toiling away at Zeichen Press Headquarters.

It’s hard for me to think about that when I am so busy staring at the ocean.

I also took the time to create this:

(I’m a giver.)

But I did make her a card.

(I hope she doesn’t really want me to help though.)So I think that makes us even.

July 11, 2013
Pilgrimage Part XXXI (Return to Brigadoon)

The pilgrimage to Cape Cod was like a lil’ slice of Purgatory and I wept with joy as we pulled into the driveway. I also wept when we discovered the house-mascot had been murdered in cold blood.Who would do such a thing?

Don’t worry, everything else was in order:

The boats are in the harbor.

The hydrangeas are blue enough.And the dead people are still dead.PHEW!

July 2, 2013
Monkeys On Pogo-Sticks

My application for Mensa included a $20 bill and a film.

I hope they accept me � I want that laminated membership card.

I also incuded a couple of my own cards:

June 12, 2013