Zeichen Press – Page 19 – Design & Letterpress for the people.

Wherein the dog wears a wig for Room and Board and Jen pies type

Yes, well… As you can see, the dog was ready to meet with Room and Board today. We fought over the wig but there’s just no talking to her. I don’t even think the wig looks that great �- her fur is a totally different color.

Whenever Room and Board stops out to visit, Jen dumps a case of type onto another case of type. I think it’s a waste of time but Jen loves wasting time – I have to be like,�“Jen, quit wasting time.”

Oh, well – the meeting went great (I think they think we’re strange. Maybe the wig�was�too much??) They told us to make some more�alphabet press-type prints.

That’s what they call those. I call them tickets to Cape Cod but that’s none of your business.

May 12, 2010
What DOESN’T a “Long Men’s Wig” have to do with letterpress?

The creepy severed head would not discourage us from our very important purchase.�The wig�will play a small, but pivotal, role in our upcoming film (tentatively titled,�Your CPR Hurts My Chest).

May 8, 2010
(Edina) Minnesota! Where the Booze Drips Freely From the Trees

Right? We met with half of the�“Jelly Shot Test Kitchen”�AND if you don’t know what I’m talking about -�you soon will.�These Edina�ladies (why did I italicize that?)�answered a pretty serious question:�“What would a jell-o shot look like if it grew up?”�

Here’s the answer:

A Jelly Shot Test Kitchen “cookbook” (cookbook?) is in the works and they have come to Zeichen Press to help create some buzz. I wonder if it’s because�they caught wind of our professionalism.�Probably.

May 6, 2010
Craft+Extravaganza=Craftstravaganza

Does Geek+Spectacular=Geektacular? I was never good at math but I DO know that the State Fairgrounds are going to be�wall-to-wall geeks tomorrow. Jen and I will be there handing out love-letters and hugs to all of our loyal customers.

We went there tonight to set up. This baby has been following Jen around for, like, two years:

May 1, 2010
OH, I get it! PR is like stalking!

Creative, elaborate, polite (but persistent) stalking! Nothing against the�creative�stalkers out there. You know who you are.�Please don’t start re-stalking me.

I sent out the press package for Tanek today, it contained everything but a pan of brownies and a lock of my hair.

I hope�Neal St. Anthony�likes kittens.

Did I hand set that type?

Yes.

April 29, 2010
email is so 2009

I love getting a letter in the mail – and getting a package in the mail is like finding money under your pillow. Or discovering a coin in a freshly gutted fish.

Reading�my�email goes like this:�delete, delete, delete, delete, delete, delete, delete, delete, delete, �delete, delete, delete, delete, delete, delete… oh, that’s important… delete, delete, delete, delete, delete, delete, delete, delete, delete, delete, delete, delete.�

As you know,�Zeichen Press is handling all things that fall into the realm of communications for�Tanek Inc.�This job is usually less messy than gutting a fish but just as satisfying. Contacting reporters is part of the job and we realized that doing so via email might just be a little bit like whispering to your date across a crowded room. Not that we have dates. Or are ever invited to rooms that are crowded.

Here is the first part of a press package going out to local reporters. (Neal St. Anthony, you lucky devil!)

(Here’s a story:�Ken Piper�of Tanek was the head designer for the brand-new KMOJ station in North Minneapolis. That’s right: North Minneapolis. Watch out, South Minneapolis – the Northside is picking up steam!)

April 26, 2010

Gratitude For Summer Intern Expressed Through Semaphore (Etc.)

I wrapped myself in bacon yesterday for a phone interview with�Mpls. St. Paul magazine.

I was, I’m sure,�delicious.

She wanted to talk about�the new book�but I wanted to talk about the last episode of Long Island Medium.

She said she was too “busy” to talk about what I wanted to talk about.�What? Too busy to care??

Moving on:

Zeichen Press found a new intern and she already promised to fold my laundry. I’ll give her this new card as soon as she puts my clothes away:

June 4, 2013
This Blog Post Would Be Better If It Was Wrapped In Bacon

I live on a farm so I can swim through my gold coin-filled silos like Uncle Scrooge McDuck. My latest money-making scheme is sure to fill its very own silo: A downloadable collection of our cards turned cartoons!�

I’ve requested that royalties be paid in gold doubloons.

Download yours today!

May 26, 2013
Hey, You Got Your Nature In My Peanut Butter

Clip-clop-clip-clop… I watched her gracefully stroll down 28th Street. She, a 125 pound White Tailed Deer, came towards me on the sidewalk. Her head turned left and right, taking in the scenery like a tourist. I sat as still as a frightened rabbit, hoping she would mistake me for something non-threatening. The air was perfectly calm and the smoke from my cigarette rose straight into the sky. Oh, but she noticed me! We were locked in a staring contest for what felt like forever, and then she bounced away. Faster than I knew a deer could run, she bounded across Hennepin Avenue.And a bear wandered up to a strip mall last week in Cottage Grove. I felt it should be commemorated.

May 20, 2013
Please Like This

It�s time to free ourselves from the shackles of this social networking monster.

We are ignorant prisoners, dragging our metal cups across the bars while our warden�stuffs his fat face with naturally-cased wieners.

We are school children, wandering like�Wii avatars, waiting for the bell to ring only to be called in to diagram sentences.

We are the Israelites�crushed by our taskmasters, waiting for the supernatural smiting of the Egyptians.

Rise up, people. Stop rowing the slave ship.�The candy tasted�so good�before we got in the van, but�now we must be deprogrammed. Make no mistake about it � this is some sort of Stockholm Syndrome.�Oh, the candy� so sweet, so forbidden, so Turkish-Delighty.

Damn you, Facebook!

I�ve�flushed my precious time down the toilet. Time I�ll never get back. Just like the year I got hooked on Party�of Five � those orphaned Salingers led by their gorgeous brother/carpenter, Matthew Fox�

Oh, but it�s done�now. No point in looking back. Friend requests, status updates, profile pictures � word combinations unwittingly�added to the English lexicon!

I�ve got a word for you:�insidious.

Never has there been such a tool, such a divisive tool.�It wears a party hat and mixes the strongest drinks, watching the party-goers behave like jackasses.�Why?

Ask son-of-a-dentist/billionaire, Mark Zuckerberg. Mr. Zuckerberg was unavailable for comment during�the writing of this, and it�s no wonder. He�s in Palo Alto, counting his drug money. I�m booking a flight to Palo Alto�and am either going to personally punch him in the face or flatter him until he hires me as his �personal secretary.��The second scenario is obviously more lucrative. The point is, I will no longer be in this creepy symbiotic�relationship.

I will be free. (cue the MLK footage)

May 11, 2013
Living Near the Edge-ish

Print shops are full of danger.

Hands mangled, digits lost, clothes torn right off of bodies… (I better fact-check that last one).

Zeichen Press is no exception.

Behold:Look if you must.�Sometimes it is better to face the painful, it desensitizes the mind.

That’s good, right?

Because I am so committed to my craft, I (by “I”, I mean “my son”) squished the spider, and finished laying out this card:Mother’s Day is coming up but you don’t have to get your mom a card.

May 3, 2013
Ever-Expanding Empire

Three new rep groups this Spring.

THREE.

These new (lucky) states are: Virginia, West Virginia, Idaho, Montana, Alaska, and New Mexico. Each rep gets a box of goodies, packed by Jen:

I bet that’s a lot of work.

I wish I could help but I’m too busy watching Pam watch kittens on televison while I lay in bed.

I DID write/design some new cards � I’ve heard that laughing is as good for your body as eating so I plan to airdrop some new cards to the starving people in the world.

I’m sure they’ll be grateful.�

April 26, 2013
Safe To Molt Now

Has Science gone too far?

Days and nights blurred as the scientist toiled alone � well, not exactly alone � his companions (experiments) lived in a collection of cages. His laboratory (pronounced:�lah-boooar-atory) was nestled between the Russkoe Slovo Bookshop and the hydro-electric plant in Krasnoyarsk.�

His mission?

To create super-species. Behold his first success… and his new friend:Well, congratulations Doctor Hvorostovsky!

And now on to my creations:

(not nearly as controversial)

April 25, 2013
Such Strong Language

But how can I be tame when I am thrust into such an atmosphere?�I have only one thing to say:

April 23, 2013
Purgatorio di Pesce

That sounds delicious!

If Spring would come I wouldn’t be forced to sit here and email sell sheets to hundreds of newspapers around the country.�I won’t complain about the weather because that’s about as interesting as listening to someone list their health problems. But I WILL say this:

If I lived in Hawaii, there’d be no Zeichen Press.

See, I can always find the blessing in disguise.Oh fine, here’s a new card � inspired by the endless Winter:

April 21, 2013
Always Winter but never Christmas (or Spring)

The woman gazes through her window. A window covered in dog-drool, a window with a view of only one season: Winter. She stares, slack-jawed, at the slow parade of life.

There is a fifth dimension beyond that which is known to man. It is a dimension as vast as space and timeless as infinity. It is the middle ground between light and shadow, between science and superstition, and it lies between the pit of man’s fears and the summit of his knowledge. This is the dimension of imagination. It is an area we call the Twilight Zone.

SERIOUSLY?!?

April 17, 2013