• A Pigeon in My Flashing (and Other Bedtime Stories)

    When Nature and Civilization collide it sounds just like stirring twelve tin cans in the bathtub with a golf club. This sound, combined with another soundthe sound of a pair of teeny-tiny hands strangling a pigeon.

    I laid in bed for 1…2…3…4…5 hours and listened to, what I concluded was, a pigeon trapped behind the flashing on my house.help-me-pigeon

    A squirrel met its maker (Bruce Hornsby) that same way last Summer. But not before it spent several days running itself to death. Was the pigeon luckier? It shivered in the cold until shortly before dawn. Likethe Little Match Girl, it shivered to death, clutching a clawful of burnt matches.

    We have a client that needs graphics for its trucks so while I listened to the pathetic cries of the dying pigeon, I thought about that.

    It was a productive night.

    January 14, 2012
  • OMGUR4T

    A surprise birthday party is 1,000% more fun than a regular birthday party. The planners plan for weeks – sending out secret invitations:becky-invite-w-envelope-10x10

    Unearthing senior photos to print on drink coasters:becky-coaster

    And finally the moment arrives!

    January 9, 2012
  • In January It’s So Nice

    Hello, January. I hate you. Not as much as February, but I still hate you. I tell my children that you are full of fun and possibilities but I am lying.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-NOJIYe6qoI

    Perhaps this card captures my true feelings:what-fresh-hell

    January 7, 2012
  • Tribulation Consolation

    Sometimes (not very often)I find myself at a loss for words. Speechless. Struck dumb by powerful emotion.“I’m stunned. I mean, I’m in a state of… somebody should just throw a blanket over me, you know?” – Woody Allen (Manhattan)

    Sometimes an empathy card is better than a sympathy card.

    Sometimes a bear playing violin says it all.there-are-no-words

    January 1, 2012
  • Taking (A Fearless Moral) Inventory

    Jen told me that she is learning to master Quickbooks. I trust her.jen-puzzle

    I bet that the Quickbooks tutorial requires puzzle completion before you really get into the meat of the applicationjust to make sure the user is nimble-minded.

    The New Year is upon us and to celebrate I stood on a chair, my head surrounded by asbestos wrapped pipes, and counted envelopes.fran-counting-inventoryJen said this was calledtaking inventoryand while I am familiar with this as a spiritual concept, with a priest andconfessionalhandy, I was easily distracted because the priest and confessional were replaced by the dog and a bin of Bazooka bubble gum.one-dog-named-milliebazooka-binThese items were not on Jen’s listjen-inventory-listbut I think that was a potentially expensive oversight. Just to be on the safe side, I counted one dog named Millie and 34 pieces of Bazooka.

    You’re welcome, Jen.

    December 31, 2011
  • Fortune Teller, Tell My Fortune

    Winter has been creeping in like a gas leak and I am always pleasantly surprised to find myself awake in the morning.It would not take long for the madness of Winter to descend upon the little house. Letterpress printed on recycled paper. Comes with coordinating envelope and packaged in cellophane sleeve.

    “That’s nice.”I say, as I stretch and crawl off my sofa-bed.Never one to miss nuance, I wonder why I’m not in my own bed.

    Good design sometimes requires getting into character – I’ve been dressing like a gypsy (not showering) for our latestTanekproject. A paper fortune teller is easier to mail than a crystal ball and some might argue – more accurate. Tanek will send 300 of these out to their dearest friends – I only hope they take the responsibility of predicting the future seriously:

    fortune-teller-1fortune-teller-5 fortune-teller-2 fortune-teller-3 fortune-teller-4fortune-teller-6

    December 21, 2011
←Previous Page
1 … 48 49 50 51 52 … 79
Next Page→
  • I said, YOOHOO, ALEXIS STEWART!

    I can’t believe she doesn’t see me!…

    I’M IN THE HOT AIR BALLOON FLOATING OVER YOU AND MARTHA!!martha-and-alexis-stroller

    I knew it… She is walking to the mailbox to send a Zeichen Press card!

    She ordered a bunchfromour online shop,but due to doctor/patient (I’m the doctor in this scenario) confidentiality, I cannot divulge which cards she chose.

    I CAN tell you that she is concerned about a funny-looking mole on her mom’s bottom.

    April 10, 2013
  • Captain’s Log, Stardate 4.1.2013

    Jen was part of a dangerous expedition

    jen-ski-trip-crop

    New product was added tothe shopand I can’t help but wonder which cards will sell well… will they be sheep-related?:sheep-30-f8wanted-30-f8snowflake-brighterhigh-fiverecipe-30-f8Or not?

    April 1, 2013
  • Being Eaten By Monsters Is Not So Funny

    My older brothers had a bunk bed, my little brother had his own bed and my sister and I shared a queen-sized bed.

    We also shared countless hours of strange bedtime rituals: she would put on her school uniform (white blouse and brown plaid jumper) and pull her nightgown over it that was for early morning efficiency… I would skip the uniform step and go right to the nightgown.

    I was so slow!

    She would coat her arms in Elmer’s Glue,

    elmers-glue

    I would dress and redress Raggedy Ann.

    I don’t know if she shared my fear of the monster under the bed.

    No, what am I saying?She did not. In fact, she created the fear!

    Siblings can be so cruel.monster-under-the-bed

    April 1, 2013
  • Local Woman Not Kidnapped By Craigslist Poster

    PHEW!

    My Faith in Humanity was fortified! I bought atripod from a stranger on Craiglist and hemade no mention of kidnappng, torturing, OR skinning me.

    Now I can stumble my way through taking photographs of the new cards!

    The Craigslist man assured me (three times) that the tripod was the “real deal” so that should help.

    March 23, 2013
  • The Widow’s Walk

    new-barn-widow-2She waited.

    Pacing the widow’s walk, praying for his ship to appear on the horizon, her view of the sea uninterrupted from her perch.

    But no!

    And who but those onboard could know the truth was it a storm? Pirates? Mutiny?

    Or was it The Kraken?at least

    March 15, 2013
  • Left, Left, Lefty, Right-o Left, Right

    That’s the sound that March makes that and a muffled sobbing.February triggers cabin fever but March in Minnesota is far more dangerous.

    Here’s a story about March:One Christmas, Santa put a baby albino rabbit under the tree so delightful!

    The little rabbit grew into a big rabbit and by the next Winter, our basement smelled like the bunny barn at the State Fair. With scraps of wood and a bale of hay, I built an outdoor rabbit hutch.

    In a pinch, it could serve as a coffin for an adult man.

    IN A PINCH.

    By March it was buried under several feet of snow and I’d order my eldest to go spend time with the rabbit in the snow coffin.

    The moral of the story is: Get a dog.

    And something about March creating crazy. Thank God I have an outlet for my March crazy:water-vodka-2

    March 8, 2013
  • Vocabulary Quiz And Card Celebrating Angry Parents

    My high school English teacher told the class that if we looked up the word ‘glib’ in the dictionary, there would be a picture of me.glib-fran-definition-2

    She was right!

    I think I felt insulted.

    I’m sure Jen’s high school English teacher said something similar about her.jen-reckless-definition-2

    And if not, she should have.

    What does this have to do with angry parents or a new card?

    Obviously, my glibness was not celebrated at home. In fact, it was frowned upon can you believe it?!

    And Jen’s reckless behavior?? You’ll have to ask her about that… I mean, pregnant at 19?! What was she THINKING?! (Wait, that was me?? We need to hire a fact checker.)sometimes-mommy-and-daddy-fight

    February 26, 2013
  • Oh, Great.

    Look who I found in front of Zeichen Press HQ!

    First the squirrels and then the bearAND NOW THIS?!yeti-in-front-of-the-shop

    February 21, 2013
  • World Domination Is Safe And Easy

    And it can be done from the comfort of your own home!

    If you’re like me (don’t worry, you’re not) you don’t like to “leave” your house or “go” anywhere.

    Don’t worry!

    World Domination will be yours as long as you have these three things:

    1) Wi-Fi

    2) Computer

    3) Forever Lazy Suit

    forever-lazy

    We just picked up a new rep for the Virginia and West Virginia territories (that’s right, TERRITORIES. Like a gang.)

    We are excited to welcome him aboard!

    And we hope we don’t scare him away with our love forFranimalsand wine.recipe-called-for-one-glass-of-wine

    February 21, 2013
  • The Importance of Wine and Kittens on the Interweb

    There IS a universal language on the World Wide Web and understanding it only requires the appreciation of three things:

    1) Kittens

    2) Wine

    3) Talking dogs

    Also, videos where guys get kicked in the nuts but those existed before YouTube.

    I follow the dog around the house with my iPhone and I plan on kicking a guy in the nuts this week.

    My life is all kittens and wine, so I was able to create the following:theyll-never-suspect-me

    Feel free to share that 1,000,000 times.

    And here’s a new card:It’s a true story.take-my-tea

    February 17, 2013
←Previous Page
1 … 18 19 20 21 22 … 48
Next Page→

Notifications