• METRO home found us!

    It was only a matter of time because we were standing outside their office.

    METRO home is a new special section in METRO. The cover of this months issue is intriguing and frightening. It might be a photograph of a bedroom/torture chamber. What’s behind those curtains?metro-home-cover-grabYikes! This room comes with shackles and nightmares.

    Urban Living Manifesto sounds really serious. Do people really take themselves that seriously?? Two words for them: settle. down.

    Oh, but here’s something cheerful - it’s about Zeichen Press:metro-crop-full-page-spread-grab
    Those Room & Board prints were sure worth all of the sweat I dripped on them last Summer!

    fran-in-the-sweat-shop

    May 4, 2011
  • Goodbye Craftstravaganza 2011

    I was right in the middle of a dream where both of my eyeballs were, curiously, weeping blood. This was, of course, followed by an intense search for a public toilet and, AS USUAL, the only available toilet was in a high-traffic area of the Southdale Mall.

    Thank God Jen called and woke me up. But not before I reluctantly (why do I always do it??) sat my bare bottom on the toilet.

    If I’ve learned anything in my life it is how to be wrenched from a sound sleep and into a car in under 5 minutes.

    It’s not pretty but neither is childbirth.

    Jen and I stopped for our traditional latte at the May Day Cafe and then it was onward to the State Fairgrounds. The Fine Arts Building was our cold and unwelcoming host, its huge doors left open to remind us that April can be just as cold as November.

    I’m sure the whole building was full of crafty-goodness but unless tables were set up on the way to the bathroom, I wasn’t going to see them. For eight hours, I did observe the folks running the Burlesque of North America table. They are screen printers – a craft that I have always had a crush on. Anyway, despite the sweetness of their prints, they were just as freezing as us.

    burlesque-worker-cold

    Poor thing!

    Our big experiment for this year’s fair involved a QR code

    qr-code-token

    that led to our latest Watch and Share card.

    It was successful. If you measure success in terms of wishes and smiles. Which I do.

    zp-craftstravaganza-booth-2011

    May 1, 2011
  • WATCHandSHAREcards

    Dynamite magazine was full of hard-hitting news for kids growing up in the 1970’s.dynamite-magazine

    But the best part of the magazine were the centerfolds. I wanted the Hang in There! poster so bad. It would have looked sweet on my closet door – right next to my Jackson 5 poster.

    jackson-5

    Struck by nostalgia and surrounded by (more) kittens, I took it upon myself to recreate the magic moment of the earnest kitten:hang-in-there-pamWhen I was all done forcing the kittens to perform adorable stunts, it was time to make videos of people reading Zeichen Press cards.

    Let me explain: Beneath various cards in our online shop, there will be a link to a video of someone (it could be you!) reading the card aloud. Why? Because even the lazy and the ne’er do wells have a right to Zeichen Press cards.

    April 2, 2011
  • A Grateful Robot and a Ladies Night Out

    My grandma kept a drawer-full of greeting cards in her buffet. An entire drawer, devoted to spontaneous correspondence!

    What a woman.

    She also kept plastic on her sofa and carpet on her kitchen floor. She really wanted to protect her furniture and linoleum.

    The Thank-You Note is a classic greeting card and should be the foundation of any collection. Receiving a thank-you note in the mail is a little bit like finding money in last Winter’s coat or a good hat in a snowbank.

    Let’s write one together!

    First, choose a card:grateful-robotNow on to the writing… We’ll break it down into 5 easy steps:

    1) Begin with a greeting: Dear Aunt Shirley,

    She loves to hear her name because cats can’t talk.

    2) This is the meat of the note and notice there is no appetizer. This is a “note” not a letter. Cut right to it: Thank you so much for the medical marijuana! If the gift from Aunt Shirley was cash, do not mention it. Speak instead of her “generosity.” Thank you for your generosity!

    3) Say a little bit about how you use or will use the gift: I smoke it everyday!

    4) Mention the last time you saw Aunt Shirley and hint at a future meeting: It was lovely to see you at Uncle Bob’s funeral, I hope to see you again before your funeral!

    5) And scene: Love, Fran

    Oh, and here’s another card that will be added to the line:the-only-rule

    February 22, 2011
  • Franstravaganza Part II

    “It is finished.” She gasped as she crumpled to the cold, concrete. It was, by all accounts, glorious. The work would outlast the artist and elevate the art form to new and dizzying heights. 

    But she, exhausted and covered in ink, was oblivious. To her, this was nothing more than an exercise. A functional and fleeting piece, it would be handled roughly and discarded by Springtime.

    Um, so, that poster for Craftsravaganza is, like, done:

    craftstravaganza-poster

    February 14, 2011
  • Franstravaganza!

    There are a couple of things going on around here:

    1) Our fax machine is spitting out orders faster than we (jen) can fill them.

    2) We (I) are (am) making the poster for this year’s Craftstravanganza.

    Just to make my load fair, I listen to a recording of screaming children while I work.

    I think it really shows:

    craftstravaganza-layout-export_1

    Today, I will put ink on that – it will be so spectacular there won’t be a dry eye in the room. (I’ll be the only one in the room.)

    February 13, 2011
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  • I said, YOOHOO, ALEXIS STEWART!

    I can’t believe she doesn’t see me!…

    I’M IN THE HOT AIR BALLOON FLOATING OVER YOU AND MARTHA!!martha-and-alexis-stroller

    I knew it… She is walking to the mailbox to send a Zeichen Press card!

    She ordered a bunch from our online shop, but due to doctor/patient (I’m the doctor in this scenario) confidentiality, I cannot divulge which cards she chose.

    I CAN tell you that she is concerned about a funny-looking mole on her mom’s bottom.

    April 10, 2013
  • Captain’s Log, Stardate 4.1.2013

    Jen was part of a dangerous expedition

    jen-ski-trip-crop

    New product was added to the shop and I can’t help but wonder which cards will sell well… will they be sheep-related?:sheep-30-f8wanted-30-f8snowflake-brighterhigh-fiverecipe-30-f8Or not?

    April 1, 2013
  • Being Eaten By Monsters Is Not So Funny

    My older brothers had a bunk bed, my little brother had his own bed and my sister and I shared a queen-sized bed.

    We also shared countless hours of strange bedtime rituals: she would put on her school uniform (white blouse and brown plaid jumper) and pull her nightgown over it — that was for early morning efficiency… I would skip the uniform step and go right to the nightgown.

    I was so slow!

    She would coat her arms in Elmer’s Glue,

    elmers-glue

    I would dress and redress Raggedy Ann.

    I don’t know if she shared my fear of the monster under the bed.

    No, what am I saying? She did not. In fact, she created the fear!

    Siblings can be so cruel.monster-under-the-bed

    April 1, 2013
  • Local Woman Not Kidnapped By Craigslist Poster

    PHEW!

    My Faith in Humanity was fortified! I bought a tripod from a stranger on Craiglist and he made no mention of kidnappng, torturing, OR skinning me.

    Now I can stumble my way through taking photographs of the new cards!

    The Craigslist man assured me (three times) that the tripod was the “real deal” so that should help.

    March 23, 2013
  • The Widow’s Walk

    new-barn-widow-2She waited.

    Pacing the widow’s walk, praying for his ship to appear on the horizon, her view of the sea uninterrupted from her perch.

    But no!

    And who but those onboard could know the truth — was it a storm? Pirates? Mutiny?

    Or was it The Kraken?at least

    March 15, 2013
  • Left, Left, Lefty, Right-o Left, Right

    That’s the sound that March makes — that and a muffled sobbing. February triggers cabin fever but March in Minnesota is far more dangerous.

    Here’s a story about March: One Christmas, Santa put a baby albino rabbit under the tree — so delightful! 

    The little rabbit grew into a big rabbit and by the next Winter, our basement smelled like the bunny barn at the State Fair. With scraps of wood and a bale of hay, I built an outdoor rabbit hutch.

    In a pinch, it could serve as a coffin for an adult man.

    IN A PINCH.

    By March it was buried under several feet of snow and I’d order my eldest to go spend time with the rabbit in the snow coffin.

    The moral of the story is: Get a dog.

    And something about March creating crazy. Thank God I have an outlet for my March crazy:water-vodka-2

    March 8, 2013
  • Vocabulary Quiz And Card Celebrating Angry Parents

    My high school English teacher told the class that if we looked up the word ‘glib’ in the dictionary, there would be a picture of me.glib-fran-definition-2

    She was right!

    I think I felt insulted.

    I’m sure Jen’s high school English teacher said something similar about her.jen-reckless-definition-2

    And if not, she should have.

    What does this have to do with angry parents or a new card?

    Obviously, my glibness was not celebrated at home. In fact, it was frowned upon — can you believe it?! 

    And Jen’s reckless behavior?? You’ll have to ask her about that… I mean, pregnant at 19?! What was she THINKING?! (Wait, that was me?? We need to hire a fact checker.)sometimes-mommy-and-daddy-fight

    February 26, 2013
  • Oh, Great.

    Look who I found in front of Zeichen Press HQ!

    First the squirrels and then the bear AND NOW THIS?!yeti-in-front-of-the-shop

    February 21, 2013
  • World Domination Is Safe And Easy

    And it can be done from the comfort of your own home!

    If you’re like me (don’t worry, you’re not) you don’t like to “leave” your house or “go” anywhere.

    Don’t worry!

    World Domination will be yours as long as you have these three things:

    1) Wi-Fi

    2) Computer

    3) Forever Lazy Suit

    forever-lazy

    We just picked up a new rep for the Virginia and West Virginia territories (that’s right, TERRITORIES. Like a gang.)

    We are excited to welcome him aboard!

    And we hope we don’t scare him away with our love for Franimals and wine.recipe-called-for-one-glass-of-wine

    February 21, 2013
  • The Importance of Wine and Kittens on the Interweb

    There IS a universal language on the World Wide Web and understanding it only requires the appreciation of three things:

    1) Kittens

    2) Wine

    3) Talking dogs

    Also, videos where guys get kicked in the nuts — but those existed before YouTube.

    I follow the dog around the house with my iPhone and I plan on kicking a guy in the nuts this week.

    My life is all kittens and wine, so I was able to create the following: theyll-never-suspect-me

    Feel free to share that 1,000,000 times.

    And here’s a new card: It’s a true story.take-my-tea

    February 17, 2013
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