Zeichen Press – Page 19 – Design & Letterpress for the people.

METRO home found us!

It was only a matter of time because we were standing outside their office.

METRO home�is a new�special�section in�METRO. The cover of this months issue is intriguing and frightening. It might be a photograph of a bedroom/torture chamber.�What’s behind those curtains?Yikes! This room comes with shackles and nightmares.

Urban Living Manifesto�sounds really serious. Do people really take themselves that seriously?? Two words for them:�settle. down.

Oh, but here’s something cheerful -�it’s about Zeichen Press:
Those Room & Board prints were sure worth all of the sweat I dripped on them last Summer!

May 4, 2011
Goodbye Craftstravaganza 2011

I was right in the middle of a dream where both of my eyeballs were, curiously, weeping blood. This was, of course, followed by an intense search for a public toilet and, AS USUAL, the only available toilet was in a high-traffic area of the Southdale Mall.

Thank God Jen called and woke me up. But not before I reluctantly�(why do I always do it??)�sat my bare bottom on the toilet.

If I’ve learned anything in my life it is how to be wrenched from a sound sleep and into a car in under 5 minutes.

It’s not pretty but neither is childbirth.

Jen and I stopped for our traditional latte at the�May Day Cafe�and then it was onward to the State Fairgrounds. The Fine Arts Building was our cold and unwelcoming host, its huge doors left open to remind us that April can be just as cold as November.

I’m sure the whole building was full of crafty-goodness but unless tables were set up on the way to the bathroom, I wasn’t going to see them. For eight hours, I did observe the folks running the�Burlesque of North America�table. They are screen printers – a craft that I have always had a crush on. Anyway, despite the sweetness of their prints, they were just as freezing as us.

Poor thing!

Our big experiment for this year’s fair involved a QR code

that led to our latest�Watch and Share�card.

It was successful. If you measure success in terms of wishes and smiles. Which I do.

May 1, 2011
WATCHandSHAREcards

Dynamite magazine�was full of hard-hitting news for kids growing up in the 1970’s.

But the best part of the magazine were the centerfolds. I wanted the�Hang in There!�poster so bad. It would have looked sweet on my closet door – right next to my Jackson 5 poster.

Struck by nostalgia and surrounded by (more) kittens, I took it upon myself to recreate the magic moment of the earnest kitten:When I was all done forcing the kittens to perform adorable stunts, it was time to make�videos of people reading Zeichen Press cards.

Let me explain:�Beneath various cards in our�online shop, there will be a link to a video of someone (it could be you!) reading the card aloud.�Why?�Because even�the lazy and the ne’er do wells have a right to Zeichen Press cards.

April 2, 2011
A Grateful Robot and a Ladies Night Out

My grandma kept a drawer-full of greeting cards in her buffet. An entire drawer, devoted to spontaneous correspondence!

What a woman.

She also�kept plastic on her sofa and carpet on her kitchen floor. She really wanted to protect her furniture and linoleum.

The Thank-You Note is a classic greeting card and should be the foundation of any collection. Receiving a thank-you note in the mail is a little bit like finding money in last Winter’s coat or a good hat in a snowbank.

Let’s write one together!

First,�choose a card:Now on to the writing… We’ll break it down into 5 easy steps:

1) Begin with a greeting:�Dear Aunt Shirley,

She loves to hear her name because cats can’t talk.

2) This is the meat of the note and notice there is no appetizer. This is a “note” not a letter. Cut right to it:�Thank you so much for the medical marijuana!�If the gift from Aunt Shirley was cash,�do not mention it.�Speak instead of her “generosity.”�Thank you for your generosity!

3) Say a little bit about how you use or will use the gift:�I smoke it everyday!

4) Mention the last time you saw Aunt Shirley and hint at a future meeting:�It was lovely to see you at Uncle Bob’s funeral, I hope to see you again before your funeral!

5) And scene:�Love, Fran

Oh, and here’s another card that will be added to the line:

February 22, 2011
Franstravaganza Part II

“It is finished.” She gasped as she crumpled to the cold, concrete. It was, by all accounts, glorious. The work would outlast the artist and elevate the art form to new and dizzying heights.�

But she, exhausted and covered in ink, was oblivious. To her, this was nothing more than an exercise. A functional and fleeting piece, it would be handled roughly and discarded by Springtime.

Um, so, that poster for�Craftsravaganza�is, like, done:

February 14, 2011
Franstravaganza!

There are a couple of things going on around here:

1) Our fax machine is spitting out orders faster than we (jen) can fill them.

2) We (I) are (am) making the poster for this year’s�Craftstravanganza.

Just to make my load fair, I listen to a recording of screaming children while I work.

I think it really shows:

Today, I will put ink on that – it will be so spectacular there won’t be a dry eye in the room. (I’ll be the only one in the room.)

February 13, 2011

Gratitude For Summer Intern Expressed Through Semaphore (Etc.)

I wrapped myself in bacon yesterday for a phone interview with�Mpls. St. Paul magazine.

I was, I’m sure,�delicious.

She wanted to talk about�the new book�but I wanted to talk about the last episode of Long Island Medium.

She said she was too “busy” to talk about what I wanted to talk about.�What? Too busy to care??

Moving on:

Zeichen Press found a new intern and she already promised to fold my laundry. I’ll give her this new card as soon as she puts my clothes away:

June 4, 2013
This Blog Post Would Be Better If It Was Wrapped In Bacon

I live on a farm so I can swim through my gold coin-filled silos like Uncle Scrooge McDuck. My latest money-making scheme is sure to fill its very own silo: A downloadable collection of our cards turned cartoons!�

I’ve requested that royalties be paid in gold doubloons.

Download yours today!

May 26, 2013
Hey, You Got Your Nature In My Peanut Butter

Clip-clop-clip-clop… I watched her gracefully stroll down 28th Street. She, a 125 pound White Tailed Deer, came towards me on the sidewalk. Her head turned left and right, taking in the scenery like a tourist. I sat as still as a frightened rabbit, hoping she would mistake me for something non-threatening. The air was perfectly calm and the smoke from my cigarette rose straight into the sky. Oh, but she noticed me! We were locked in a staring contest for what felt like forever, and then she bounced away. Faster than I knew a deer could run, she bounded across Hennepin Avenue.And a bear wandered up to a strip mall last week in Cottage Grove. I felt it should be commemorated.

May 20, 2013
Please Like This

It�s time to free ourselves from the shackles of this social networking monster.

We are ignorant prisoners, dragging our metal cups across the bars while our warden�stuffs his fat face with naturally-cased wieners.

We are school children, wandering like�Wii avatars, waiting for the bell to ring only to be called in to diagram sentences.

We are the Israelites�crushed by our taskmasters, waiting for the supernatural smiting of the Egyptians.

Rise up, people. Stop rowing the slave ship.�The candy tasted�so good�before we got in the van, but�now we must be deprogrammed. Make no mistake about it � this is some sort of Stockholm Syndrome.�Oh, the candy� so sweet, so forbidden, so Turkish-Delighty.

Damn you, Facebook!

I�ve�flushed my precious time down the toilet. Time I�ll never get back. Just like the year I got hooked on Party�of Five � those orphaned Salingers led by their gorgeous brother/carpenter, Matthew Fox�

Oh, but it�s done�now. No point in looking back. Friend requests, status updates, profile pictures � word combinations unwittingly�added to the English lexicon!

I�ve got a word for you:�insidious.

Never has there been such a tool, such a divisive tool.�It wears a party hat and mixes the strongest drinks, watching the party-goers behave like jackasses.�Why?

Ask son-of-a-dentist/billionaire, Mark Zuckerberg. Mr. Zuckerberg was unavailable for comment during�the writing of this, and it�s no wonder. He�s in Palo Alto, counting his drug money. I�m booking a flight to Palo Alto�and am either going to personally punch him in the face or flatter him until he hires me as his �personal secretary.��The second scenario is obviously more lucrative. The point is, I will no longer be in this creepy symbiotic�relationship.

I will be free. (cue the MLK footage)

May 11, 2013
Living Near the Edge-ish

Print shops are full of danger.

Hands mangled, digits lost, clothes torn right off of bodies… (I better fact-check that last one).

Zeichen Press is no exception.

Behold:Look if you must.�Sometimes it is better to face the painful, it desensitizes the mind.

That’s good, right?

Because I am so committed to my craft, I (by “I”, I mean “my son”) squished the spider, and finished laying out this card:Mother’s Day is coming up but you don’t have to get your mom a card.

May 3, 2013
Ever-Expanding Empire

Three new rep groups this Spring.

THREE.

These new (lucky) states are: Virginia, West Virginia, Idaho, Montana, Alaska, and New Mexico. Each rep gets a box of goodies, packed by Jen:

I bet that’s a lot of work.

I wish I could help but I’m too busy watching Pam watch kittens on televison while I lay in bed.

I DID write/design some new cards � I’ve heard that laughing is as good for your body as eating so I plan to airdrop some new cards to the starving people in the world.

I’m sure they’ll be grateful.�

April 26, 2013
Safe To Molt Now

Has Science gone too far?

Days and nights blurred as the scientist toiled alone � well, not exactly alone � his companions (experiments) lived in a collection of cages. His laboratory (pronounced:�lah-boooar-atory) was nestled between the Russkoe Slovo Bookshop and the hydro-electric plant in Krasnoyarsk.�

His mission?

To create super-species. Behold his first success… and his new friend:Well, congratulations Doctor Hvorostovsky!

And now on to my creations:

(not nearly as controversial)

April 25, 2013
Such Strong Language

But how can I be tame when I am thrust into such an atmosphere?�I have only one thing to say:

April 23, 2013
Purgatorio di Pesce

That sounds delicious!

If Spring would come I wouldn’t be forced to sit here and email sell sheets to hundreds of newspapers around the country.�I won’t complain about the weather because that’s about as interesting as listening to someone list their health problems. But I WILL say this:

If I lived in Hawaii, there’d be no Zeichen Press.

See, I can always find the blessing in disguise.Oh fine, here’s a new card � inspired by the endless Winter:

April 21, 2013
Always Winter but never Christmas (or Spring)

The woman gazes through her window. A window covered in dog-drool, a window with a view of only one season: Winter. She stares, slack-jawed, at the slow parade of life.

There is a fifth dimension beyond that which is known to man. It is a dimension as vast as space and timeless as infinity. It is the middle ground between light and shadow, between science and superstition, and it lies between the pit of man’s fears and the summit of his knowledge. This is the dimension of imagination. It is an area we call the Twilight Zone.

SERIOUSLY?!?

April 17, 2013